Childhood neglect is harmful, but we all know that. But did you know that a sheltered childhood can harm your life as an adult?
There are many ways to raise your child and finding the balance can be difficult. However, abusive parenting, like childhood neglect, can leave scars that spread and infect others later in life.
But sheltered children can also carry negative aspects into adulthood. They may not have scar-like properties, but these “roads” can be toxic.
livingwithhelicopterparents
So, what’s wrong with protecting and loving your child? Well nothing. When protection and love become like a transparent bubble, there is a problem.
Some parents are afraid of the world and its negatives, so they resort to sheltering their children in different ways. They monitor the child’s every move, hence the term “helicopter parents.”
Parents may refuse to let their children make friends or prevent them from trying new things. Whatever the case, these protected children will show effects later in adulthood, and this will not be the case.
Here are some negative characteristics that a sheltered childhood can cause that no one really wants to admit.
- Anxiety or depression
An adult who had an overprotective childhood may suffer from anxiety. Contact is the reason the parent shelters the child in the first place. An anxious parent will constantly worry about who the child spends time with outside the home, or where the child goes.
This anxiety felt by the parent will be transferred to the child and remain there as the child grows. In most cases, the sheltered child becomes an anxious adult, not only suffering from social anxiety but also battling depression due to loneliness.
- Shame
If a child is raised to avoid “bad” things, in adulthood he will try to stay away from those things. If they fail, they will feel an abnormal amount of shame. Their view of what is truly bad will be skewed to reflect what their parents or parents feel.
Anything that was instilled in childhood will control the amount of shyness as well. It can be debilitating for adults. Many potentially good opportunities can be missed because of what an adult has been raised to believe, and the shame a person feels when that belief goes against them.
- Doubt
Because adults are taught in childhood that the world is bad, a shelter tactic, they will always have doubts about people, places, and things.
If the world is bad, an adult will have trust issues, no matter how hard others try to like them or be friends. Unfortunately, many adults remain lonely in life only because they believe that there is no good. This was what they were taught, so it makes sense to doubt everything.
- Risk-taking behaviour
Not all consequences of sheltering in place are equal in shame or embarrassment. Sometimes, sheltering in place in childhood can lead to an adulthood filled with risky behaviors. If a child is being watched and not allowed to do anything fun, as an adult he or she may want to make up for lost time.
The result may be speeding, heavy drinking, drug experimentation, and promiscuous behavior. Helicopter parenting does not always instill parental beliefs in the adult child. Sometimes it creates a completely rebellious nature.
- Insecure attachment in adulthood
There are two negative attachment effects that excessive parenting can cause. One is preoccupied attachment, and the other is dismissive attachment.
Preoccupied attachment as an adult is caused by parents who were clingy and overprotective, even to the point of providing too much comfort to the child. This happened even when the child behaved in negative ways. Later in life, in relationships, the overprotective partner will be clingy and possessive.
With dismissive attachment as an adult, parents were overprotective, but also neglected their children’s emotional needs. In adulthood, during relationships, the neglectful but overprotective adult will avoid intimacy or any normal emotional attachments with their partner.
Both attachment styles are unhealthy and cause insecure characteristics in the adult.
- Low self-worth
It’s strange how low self-esteem can flourish from a sheltered childhood, but it’s true. You see, when children are overprotected, parents say that the child is unable to protect themselves, and that they are unable to do things on their own. Although the parent may not say these things verbally, the messages are clear.
As an adult, an overprotected child may have low self-esteem because he or she feels incompetent and unable to cope with life. A sheltered childhood has created an adult who feels that nothing can be achieved under the guidance of another person. This creates a fragile self-esteem that can collapse at the slightest sign of responsibility.
