Do you always seem to destroy your relationships before they have a chance to develop? Are you so jealous and controlling that you end up pushing your partner away? Have you ever wondered why you only have short-term relationships?
If any of the above sounds familiar, you could be self-sabotaging your relationship without even knowing it.
Relationship self-sabotage is preventing a romantic relationship from growing and maturing into a loving partnership.
So how do you know if you’re self-sabotaging your love life? Why are you prone to this behavior and can you stop it? First, let’s get to know the signs.
You can sabotage your relationship positively or negatively. For example, one effective way to sabotage a relationship is to cheat on your partner. The negative approach is a simple lack of commitment or refusal to talk about important issues.
Effective ways to sabotage your relationship with yourself
- Constant criticism
One way to alienate a partner is to look for character flaws and use that to undermine them. Continuous criticism works in two ways; It makes life so unbearable for them that they leave you, or gives you an excuse to leave yourself. - Serial fraud
Ask any couple what the worst thing their partner could do to them is. Undoubtedly, they will say cheating with someone else. It is the ultimate betrayal. Being intimate with another person conjures up the most hurtful images and feelings.
- Raising arguments
I once had an ex who would cause arguments over nothing. In the end, I had to leave, it became unbearable; I was young and just wanted to have fun. I saw him decades later and asked him why he did that. He replied that he was afraid that I would leave him, so he pre-empted that by arguing. - Problems of control and jealousy
Some people are naturally controlling. This stems from a lack of self-esteem. Their jealous nature works against them as their constant checking of their partners and restrictive behavior eventually becomes self-sabotage.
The thing they feared (their partner leaving) is now a reality because of their actions.
- Not giving up on past differences
Balanced people discuss and debate disagreement, reach a compromise or conclusion, and then move on. One way to ensure you sabotage your relationship with yourself is to bring up old disagreements every time you disagree in the future.
Negative ways to sabotage your relationship with yourself
- Refusal to communicate
It’s hard to move forward healthily if your partner is stuck in a rut and won’t talk to you. This is a passive-aggressive way to sabotage a relationship.
You may fail to communicate or avoid the problem because you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, and if you talk about it, there is a possibility that things will change.
- Always underestimate yourself
Of course, there are psychological reasons why people self-sabotage their relationships, and the common factor is a lack of confidence and self-esteem. Feeling like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve to be happy will eventually get on your partner’s nerves. - You become cold and emotionless
Refusing sex or stopping intimacy are particularly insidious ways to sabotage your relationship. By rejecting your partner in this way, you lower their self-esteem.
They will start to wonder what has changed or wonder if they are good enough for you. Manipulators such as narcissists and sociopaths use this gaslighting technique.
- Avoidance tactics
Relationships tend to follow similar paths or milestones. You date, see more of each other, move in together, meet your parents, commit to each other, and settle into a serious relationship.
