Traumatic experiences can be horrific in and of themselves. However, the cycle of trauma repeats these experiences across generations, making them difficult to heal.
If you are one of the millions of people who have experienced trauma, you know how difficult it is to heal. But there is something that many of us have never paid attention to, and that is the aftershocks of this trauma, and the development of generational abuse.
Stages of the trauma cycle
Trauma cycles develop from generations of abuse, creating ever more horrific experiences. For example, if your mother was physically abusive to you, you are likely to behave in the same way. Now, this doesn’t mean you will be, but it does make you more vulnerable to these behaviors.
Why? Because when a child grows up in an abusive home, they are taught that this behavior is normal. Therefore, it is important that we recognize the stages and break free from them before it is too late.
- Loss of confidence
One of the first stages of the trauma cycle involves a lack of trust. When you are abused by a family member or close relative, it becomes difficult to trust other people in your family. Without confidence, even as a child, you may find it difficult to make friends at school or let teachers and other adults help you.
Although this stage may not affect others, it will eventually shape your identity as an adult, possibly causing PTSD. Your lack of confidence can prevent growth and success in areas that require it, and leave you vulnerable to various triggers.
- Bullying behavior
The next stage in the trauma cycle is bullying behavior, usually beginning in childhood or early teenage years. If you have been physically or emotionally abused, you may see this as normal and treat others in much the same way. After struggling with your lack of confidence, you will develop a survival mentality that will further fuel this behavior.
Unfortunately, this is not a normal mindset, but rather a selfish and violent way of thinking. In the mind of the survivor, abuse is a means of control. If the cycle is not stopped early, the child will develop severe control problems. This will manifest itself in bullying behavior towards other children and eventually manifest in adulthood as well.
- Relationship problems
This stage of the trauma cycle is usually when you first notice a problem with your behavior and response. When you grow up in a dysfunctional environment, your relationships in adulthood will reflect that. For example, if you have been physically abused, you may gravitate toward partners who are exposed to domestic violence.
It may also be difficult to leave a relationship because you believe you deserve the abuse. Yes, it’s important to get out of these situations when you realize the problem, but it’s rarely that simple. Being trapped in a cycle of trauma distorts the way you look at everything in life.
- Depression and anxiety
Children, adolescents and adults suffer from depression and anxiety that impairs their ability to function normally in society. It is common for those who are trapped in a cycle of abuse. If you have been sexually abused, for example, you may feel anxious if someone touches you. Just a simple pat on the back can make you feel frightened and terrified.
Cycles of emotional abuse often cause depression and can lead to physical illnesses over time. This brings us to the next stage of the trauma cycle, which is the impact on your physical health.
- Deteriorating physical health
Physical and mental health are linked in many ways. Anxiety can lead to poor cardiovascular health and chronic fatigue. Childhood trauma, if left unchecked, often leads to anxious and panic behaviors. Then, these heightened emotions can in turn harm your health.
Depression caused by childhood trauma can also cause health problems, such as eating and sleeping disorders. This stage often appears after other stages of the generational cycle of abuse. However, they can also work synchronously as well.
How do we break the cycle?
Breaking the cycle of trauma is difficult, but possible. Sometimes, multiple generations actually indulge in abusive behaviors that are considered normal. The normality of this is the biggest problem. So, changing ideas about what is normal/abnormal would be the first step. After that, you can move on to the next process.
- Reveal the truth
It’s not always easy to hear the truth. But getting to the root of the problem is how the healing process begins. If generations of abuse have created a cycle of trauma, understanding negative behavior is key. Take a look at your family history, talk to your relatives, and then do your own research. Is your family’s behavior healthy? If not, it’s time for a change. - Confront problem areas
If you realize there is abuse in your family, confront those past actions. This doesn’t mean you need to attack people, but you should definitely let them know that you are putting an end to this cycle. Sometimes, you may need to put distance between yourself and other family members to make this possible.
- Look at current procedures
Pay close attention to your behavior as an adult and as a parent. Listen to your children often, and take their opinions seriously.
Are you picking up on positive vibes that you may be an abusive parent? If so, take a step back and watch how other parents act. Do your parenting skills mirror your parents’ negative behaviors? Here you can find any dysfunction that was hiding behind your identity verification.
- Analyze your relationships
If you fight with your partner all the time, there may be a problem. While disagreements and fighting here and there are good, having confrontations all the time is not normal. This is especially true if you hit on each other.
Physical fighting is never a good thing. If you can’t stop fighting, you are clearly in an unhealthy relationship. It would be nice to live alone for a while and learn to love yourself. Appreciating yourself helps you heal and improves the quality of future relationships with others.
- Take care of your health
Not only do you need to love yourself, you also need to take care of your physical health. Staying healthy can give you the strength to work on breaking the cycle of trauma. It is also important to pay attention to signs of mental illness resulting from past trauma. If you notice anything unusual, seek professional psychological help as soon as possible.
Let’s put an end to this now!
i believe in you. I know that when you realize what’s going on, you can take these steps to improve. Breaking this chain of abuse is key to providing a better life for you and your family. The future depends on change. So, let’s make that change today.
