The psychological effects of being a single mother are often overlooked. Not everyone has a family full of love and support, and this means that both positive and negative circumstances can leave their mark.
Being a mother is hard. It can be downright exhausting. However, being a single parent comes with a much higher level of responsibility. These responsibilities and pressures can affect both the single mother and her children.
Psychological effects of being a single mother
Since the 1950s, the numbers of single-parent families have risen dramatically. What does this mean? Well, this means that the idea of “family” means something different than before. Now, a family can consist of many dynamics.
However, these dynamics are not without problems. For single mothers, the psychological effects can be good or bad and leave a mark for many years to come. Below are some of the psychological aspects that affect both the parent and the child.
- Low self-esteem
Unfortunately, children and single mothers can suffer from low self-esteem. This happens for many reasons. The most common cause of identity problems in children of single mothers is lack of attention and positive support.
This isn’t always the mother’s fault, because single parenting often means work. Mothers deal with their own self-esteem issues because they sometimes feel abandoned by their ex-partners.
Low self-esteem can also come from feeling different from other children who may have two parents at home. Difference often leads to bullying, which exacerbates feelings of inadequacy that are already there. An unstable home life can also affect the self-esteem and mental health of single mothers.
- Negative behaviors
Because of issues with finances and other changes, common in single-parent homes, there are more restrictions on spending. Due to the lack of money for fun and entertainment, some children display negative behaviors, either out of boredom or anger.
Children and mothers may feel anxious, abandoned, sad and lonely. In a single-parent home, money is tight, and this causes negative mental and emotional behaviors.
There are other stressors that lead to negative behaviors, and these behaviors can worsen, causing depression, anxiety disorders, addiction, and other serious problems. Single mothers not only have to deal with their own psychological fears, but they must also help their children navigate these dangerous emotional waters as well.
- Academic performance
Single mothers struggle financially, and this may lead to working two or even three jobs to make ends meet. This also means missing school activities, such as award ceremonies and sporting events. Although earning money is not a top priority, missing out on academic events affects the mother and the child.
For mothers, missing out on these important things means poor parenting, but this is a misconception. Regardless, for children, feelings of neglect and abandonment can lead to poor academic performance.
Being a single mother and raising a family alone means making difficult choices. Unfortunately, whatever you choose can leave scars.
- Commitment issues
Single mothers may develop commitment issues after divorce. Children of divorced parents may also develop a fear of commitment later in adulthood. The thought of one of the most important relationships in your life falling apart makes it difficult to trust, meaning future relationships and marriage may seem impossible.
Being a single mother means dealing with your own commitment issues while teaching your children how to deal with similar issues.
- Strong connections
There are also positive psychological effects of being a single mother. In a single parent home, time not spent at work or school can be uninterrupted time spent together.
Unlike living with both parents, living with a single mother means creating a bond with that parent. Even when it comes to joint custody, any time spent with each parent is time to get closer to them. There is psychological satisfaction in creating that strong bond.
- Handling responsibilities
Children in single-parent homes often learn responsibilities sooner. Seeing a parent struggling to get things done encourages children to get involved and help.
The psychological impact of this opportunity transforms children into more mature, more life-experienced adults. Helping a single mother keep up with household chores and errands creates trust and builds a healthy parent-child relationship.
- Emotional management
Single mothers can teach children how to manage their emotions. This includes understanding how to accept disappointment and learning tolerance. These traits are demonstrated through maturity that is passed from mother to child during difficult times.
Good, evil and everything in between
Single mothers struggle to raise kind, caring children who become responsible and mature adults. Although there may be some psychological effects of growing up in a single-parent household, they do not always have to be negative.
No, raising children alone is not always an easy task. But the truth is that this dynamic is becoming more common over time, and we are learning a lot. As single mothers, the psychological effects, whether negative or positive, can help us become better people. It depends on how we see our situation.