“Conversational narcissist” may seem like a made-up term, but it is not. This type of narcissist will constantly try to steal the conversation, no matter how much they can. Sound familiar?
A healthy exchange between two people will be an equal two-way dialogue. Or rather, everyone will have a chance to communicate their ideas, don’t you agree? On the other hand, an unhealthy exchange is a one-sided conversation. This is how the conversational narcissist thrives.
What is a dialogic narcissist?
A conversational narcissist is someone who is constantly trying to control the discussion. This person should always be in the spotlight, even if they have to act in outrageous ways.
Now, I’m not saying that conversational narcissism causes narcissistic personality disorder because it doesn’t. This type of narcissist can suffer from insecurity or an inflated ego…or a little of both. Honestly, you probably do it during conversations too, but you don’t recognize it.
Well, today I’m going to give you some phrases that narcissists use in conversation, and you can decide if this fits your way of communicating.
- “Well, my problems are worse than that!”
Narcissists will always say they have it worse than you. You may wonder why they want to face more problems and conflicts.
Well, the conversation can’t shine a spotlight on narcissists if they don’t have notable issues. If talking about problems, the narcissist will always want more. Even the bad stuff keeps it front and center.
- “Don’t blame me for what happened!”
Sometimes this comes out of nowhere. You may talk about a mistake you made, and the narcissist will take the opportunity to display his or her victim mentality.
You may have never said anything about blaming them, but they will try to make you think you did. They will continue with this idea as long as possible. They may even bring it up in a later conversation, reminding you of how you blame them for no reason. It’s a really strange statement.
- “You seem like you’ve been kind of crazy lately.”
This may not be their exact statement, but the idea here is gaslighting. Oh, how a narcissist loves to make you seem helpless. They like to say things like,
“I can tell there’s something wrong with you because you claimed you never heard what I said. You also told me I did things I didn’t do, and you started fighting with me!”
Yes, that was long, but doesn’t part of that statement ring a bell? There are many variations of the phrase “You’re crazy,” so it’s a good idea to be discerning and pay attention to all the ways a narcissist speaking can gaslight you.
- “You’re kind of ignorant.”
Not only does the narcissist gaslight you, they try to make you think you’re stupid too. During the conversation, pay attention to how the narcissist picks certain topics from what you say and tries to make them sound untrue.
I’ve actually seen someone like this tell a mathematician that he was wrong about fractions. They even went so far as to back up their nonsense with statements about Google searches that proved the mathematician wrong. When narcissists noticed that they were losing, they said:
“Whatever, this is a stupid conversation.”
Do you see what happened there?
- “I can’t believe you fell for that.”
I’m seeing a group of conversational narcissists discussing politics lately. This is a common phrase when someone wants to prove their friend who has opposite political beliefs wrong. Regardless of the relevant point, the narcissist will try to make his or her friend feel wrong about their personal beliefs, morals, and standards.
Here’s the truth: None of us are perfect, including our political ideals. The narcissist thrives on arguments about topics like these.
- “Just listen to what she says.”
This statement is often delivered in a sarcastic tone, reminding you that your points are meaningless. The narcissist wants to make you feel ashamed of what you say and then ask you to say something else.
This happens when the narcissist imposes his skewed view of things and tries to convince you that his ideas are more logical, which is a fallacy.
- “You’re the same”
This narcissistic statement is usually bigoted or racist, but the narcissist doesn’t mind it. Whether they are talking to someone from a different culture, religion, or socioeconomic status, the narcissist will see who is better.
A conversation could be going well, and all of a sudden, they’ll say something like this. It’s painful and surprising, because it’s mixed with all kinds of “love bombing” type compliments. This toxic person really knows how to surprise you, weave and spin his web.
Protection from conversational narcissists
Is this you? Is this one of your friends or family members? If you find yourself talking to people and interrupting them, practice listening more.
There are different degrees of conversational narcissism, and not everyone who interrupts others is a conversational narcissist…or are they? This one makes me think. If that doesn’t describe you, it’s very likely someone else’s, and you’ll need to understand how to deal with them.
The first thing you should remember is to be careful with this personality type. These things may seem harmless at first, but before you know it, they may make you forget your true identity.
The narcissist will worm his way into your conversation and say some of the strangest things you’ve ever heard. The worst part: They will make you believe what they say, due to cunning manipulation. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
