We don’t associate narcissists with empathy or understanding of human feelings, so how do they react when they bother you? What goes through their mind when a narcissist sees you crying? Here are 13 things you can expect.

13 Things to expect when a narcissist sees you crying

“Narcissistic love rides a roller coaster of disaster with a heart full of tears.” – Sherri Griffin

1. Narcissists will not comfort you when you cry
   Don’t expect a hug or cuddle from a narcissist when you cry. If they don’t take away your pain, they will feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It’s a “lousy” thing for them to deal with.

2. They will not acknowledge your tears
   When you cry, you distract the narcissist. You can yell, scream or scream as much as you want, but they won’t react. They will continue the conversation completely undisturbed, and go back to what they were doing before.
3. They accuse you of being too sensitive
   Narcissists justify their destructive behavior by blaming you. You are very sensitive. You cannot accept a joke or constructive criticism. You should calm down and not offend.
4. They stare at you
   Narcissists don’t experience emotions the way we do, so seeing you cry piques their curiosity. They stare at you as if you were a laboratory animal being experimented on. There is nothing behind their eyes. No emotion or feeling.

Some victims of narcissists describe the narcissist’s eyes turning black or looking dull. Others smile at your distress. Narcissists can make their partner cry over something they did, and feel no remorse while watching. It’s worrying.

5. They will ignore your tears
   When a narcissist sees you crying, he will do his best to ignore your tears. They continue as if nothing happened. You might be dazed in the fetal position, and they’ll turn the TV up louder.

6. They will laugh at you
   It is not unusual for narcissists to laugh at your plight. These are empty, emotionally devoid shells of people. Seeing you upset shows them that their tactics are working. Your tears feed their ego. It’s a fun experience for them. When you cry, they win
7. They will say that you are crying just to manipulate the situation
   “Often the narcissist believes that others are ‘faking it’, taking advantage of emotional displays to achieve a goal. He is convinced that their superficial ‘feelings’ are based on ulterior, unemotional motives.” -Sam Vaknin

Narcissists use crying as a tool of manipulation, so it’s no surprise that they think everyone else does too. They do not understand that tears mean sadness or sorrow. It’s projection. They project their actions onto you. Yes, he would accuse me of manipulating him or trying to make him feel bad.

8. They make you cry for fear of accountability
   Crying shows how upset or hurt we are. Narcissists worry that they will be revealed as a bad person. They minimize your feelings so they can get away with unacceptable behavior. If you cry for no good reason, you are not to blame.

9. They will underestimate you
   For a narcissist, crying is a sign of weakness. However, they also consider it a good thing. They break you. You are surrendering to their controlling tactics. They affect you negatively.

This gives them a huge boost of power. They know that you are now under their spell, so they can go further.

10. They don’t understand why you’re crying

Narcissists don’t understand why people cry. They can’t relate what they did to your reaction. After all, it’s not about you. It’s all about them.

This is a sick, soulless person who has no conscience and no remorse. Narcissists may feel angry or upset with you for crying, but they do not feel the emotion behind the tears.

11. They get angry
    “She could feel him, staring at her with a psychotic look in his eyes, reveling in her suffering, using it to fuel his next move.” – Aarti Manani

If being ignored won’t stop her crying, sometimes getting angry will do the trick. The narcissist will accuse you of crying to get attention or to avoid dealing with a problem. These are all things narcissists do, of course, so they associate them with you.

Narcissists know they use emotions as a tool for manipulation, but they get angry when they think you do too. It is impossible for them to understand that you are sad or upset.

12. They are turned on
    Has your narcissistic partner tried to have sex while you were crying? Some narcissists are upset by your tears. Malignant narcissists are sadists who enjoy seeing you distraught.

However, there is also a condition called Dacryphilia which describes a person who becomes sexually aroused by the sight or sounds of crying. Crying or seeing others cry excites some people.

13. They will remind you all the time
    When a narcissist sees you crying, he remembers it for future reference. They can then use it to humiliate you further. They will constantly remind you of a time when you were weak and re-traumatize you all over again.

There are some narcissists who deliberately bring up past traumas to comfort and comfort you. They can’t do it at the time because their focus is on enjoying the moment. But once they have time to think about the situation, they realize they can use it to their advantage.

finalthoughts

When we see someone crying, our first instinct is to comfort and help that person. When a narcissist sees you crying, he or she is not acting like a normal, well-adjusted person. If any of the above signs sound familiar, you may be dealing with a narcissist.