It’s very easy for people to ask, “Why didn’t they get out of the situation?” But every victim of abuse knows that it is never that easy, and even more so when the abuse comes from someone close to you. Abuse can be both mental and physical, and the former is particularly difficult to identify. In this article, we will discuss how some partners try to change each other through guilt trips.

Guilt trips are a common way of trying to change another person. Trying to get something from you is often a manipulative maneuver. When it comes from a significant other, it can be very difficult to let go of the situation. The abuser will always force you to depend on them. They will use your feelings against you. They will leave you in a state of self-doubt, paranoia, and depression. If you are experiencing any of these feelings and your gut tells you that the cause is your significant other, then you need to get out right away.

These are just some of the tactics they will use to pit you against yourself:

Guilt Tripping Technique 1: All of your feelings are pre-determined
Your partner will usually express concern about your feelings and will want to know how you feel so you can plan accordingly. But when they constantly make you feel guilty for feeling exhausted after work or for wanting to go out to a nice dinner, something is wrong. They manipulate your mind so that your emotional responses are determined by their own needs at all times.

Guilt Starting Technique 2: Constant Self-Doubt

Once you become an adult, it makes sense that you are old enough to decide what you want to do with your life. As an individual, you have the right to choose the things that make you happy. A manipulative partner will continue to make you question your choices with malicious remarks and pointed questions until you are not sure if you can trust yourself to make the right decision. This is part of their plan to control you as you will start to turn to them for help instead of doing things for yourself.

The guilt tripping technique 3: They are the center of the universe
It’s natural to expect your partner to be there for you through life’s ups and downs. But when your partner is abusive, there will never be anything about you. Even if you are going through the most difficult time of your life, your partner will only care about how they will be affected in this situation. It will make you feel like a terrible person because you only care about yourself. They will try to isolate you from other loved ones so that you can focus only on your partner’s needs.

Guilt Tripping Technique 4: Their Problems Are Your Problem

Empathy is important to any relationship and you need to be there for your partner when they are going through a difficult time. But when all your feelings are dictated by how your partner feels that day, then your relationship is not healthy. Even if something goes wrong with your partner, that doesn’t mean you need to sit down and cry about it. You can offer them peace and comfort and feel bad for them but you don’t have to let their bad mood be yours. And it’s not right for your partner to accuse you of not caring for them if you don’t.

Guilt Starting Technique 5: Shatter Your Self-Esteem

When you are confident in who you are, it is difficult for others to control your life. An abusive partner will not like it at all and will do everything they can to completely demolish you. Every time you decide to do something for yourself, they will be there to make you feel guilty for not ordering earlier. They will point out all sorts of non-existent flaws so you can never be sure of your decisions.

Guilt Tripping Technique 6: You keep saying sorry

Guilt can eat you up from the inside and an abusive partner will know how to use that to their advantage. They will make sure that you feel the need to constantly apologize even if you did nothing wrong. Eventually, you’ll apologize for just being there as a person and you’ll feel like you screw up every step you take.

7 Guilt Starting Technique: No more spontaneity

Before getting into this relationship, you had a good idea of who you were and what you wanted out of life. But now, everything revolves around your partner and you always need to keep them in mind before making plans. It’s natural to want to tell your partner or check in when you’re going somewhere. But if your partner is abusive, you will have to sit down and rethink everything you wanted to say over and over again. You are afraid of the fact that they will act as if you did something to hurt them and you will end up feeling unbearably guilty.

Guilt Tripping Technique 8: Living in anxiety

Your significant other should be someone you can be yourself around, freely and completely! True happiness comes when you and your partner are completely comfortable around each other because you are sure of where you are in the relationship. An abusive partner will keep you in a state of anxiety all the time because you will feel the constant need to please him. Their resentment only makes you feel guilty and you are afraid to make them work. It’s never a healthy relationship when you fear your partner.

9 Breakthrough Technique: Gaslighting

This is the most insidious method your partner can use to break you down and make you completely under his control. It will force you to question your sanity every moment by making you question your memories and perception. It can take years for you to recover once it has made you unable to fully trust yourself. If you feel like this is happening to you, you need to leave and find someone to help you. The longer you allow them to weave their lies around you, the harder it will be to get out of it.

Speaking from my own experience, I’ve heard many stories of emotional and domestic abuse. No matter how “educated” people are, they pose a threat to their partner once they get into a relationship.

One of my best friends, who constantly expressed her opinions regarding women’s rights, ended up being subjected to domestic abuse. How do people like this end up in the exact same place they don’t want anyone else to end up? Over the course of a year, she became so dependent on this man for her existence that she simply couldn’t get out. The psychological manipulation by the abusive partner is so strong that the victim is not even aware of it! It took a violent incident to free her from the clutches of her partner.