Spotting a narcissist can sometimes be difficult, because they are charming and have excellent social skills. He will seduce you and turn your head, and before you know it, you will fall in love with him.

He will make sure you feel like the most amazing woman alive. He’ll give you gifts, compliment you all night long, and the chemistry you share will literally melt your bones.

He seems like the perfect guy. The man wrote songs and books about him. But that’s what makes it even scarier.

So, in order for you to properly identify a narcissist on a first date, we have collected some early signs of narcissistic abuse that could alert you to him or her.

The talk is about him

He finds a way to bring the conversation back to him all the time. You may feel hurt that he’s not that curious about you, but he’ll be so fun and charming that you’ll ignore it.

He will also find a way to humbly brag about himself and his accomplishments. You might think it’s because he wants to present himself as a perfect man, but the truth is that he really enjoys talking about himself and really believes he’s perfect.

He is impatient and rude to the wait staff

During the appointment, carefully monitor how he behaves if there is a certain delay. Whether it’s your table not being set, your food arriving late, or your waitstaff not being available all the time.

He will get upset easily, and eventually treat the wait staff rudely and tip them poorly.

He has this need to always be the center of attention and for everything to go smoothly, so if things don’t go his way, he will eventually explode and drown you in complaints.

He doesn’t show any interest in you

At the end of the date, is there one thing he knows about you? You know his favorite movie, his music, his biggest dreams, and his accomplishments. But what about him knowing anything about you?

You’ve heard stories about his childhood, cars and sports, but is there any story you’ve told about yourself? If you feel left out on the first date, it’s probably not going to change for the better.

If he doesn’t show any interest in you, or he does but quickly turns the conversation back to him, he’s not really worth it.

Total control

He needs complete control of everything. He chose when you would go on a date, where and at what table you would take.

He won’t be near the kitchen or somewhere in the corner, he will need to be in the spotlight and will choose the dominant spot because he believes he deserves validation and special treatment.

He’ll also suggest that you let him plan the whole thing, and he’ll even try to order you food because he thinks he knows what’s best.

I ask for your full attention

If he is not the center of attention, he is insulted. He’ll either be sarcastic or make jokes about the time you spent talking to someone you met or about your day, and soon the conversation will turn back to him.

He needs your full attention and he will make sure he gets it, without you even realizing it in the first place. But if you notice the particular pattern that occurs when he’s not in the spotlight, that’s a clear sign that he’s drugged up.

Love bombing

Love bombing is an exaggerated show of affection and attention used to win someone over.

You’ll notice it if he keeps talking about how you two clicked, and the future plans he’s already made for you—all before the appetizers even get to the table.

He uses this so he can tie you down, so you can give him what he wants, and that could be physical intimacy, taking care of him, your connections or your money.

He will make sure you feel special and amazing, and go on and on about how he sees himself with you, how you are unique and that your beauty has swept him off his feet. Be careful if your internal alarm clock goes off, you might want to listen to it.

Continuous criticism

The soup is too hot, the bread is too hard, and the wine is not cold enough. Nothing is good for him and everything that happens is a big problem for him.

He will complain about his colleagues, his job, and the government in general. He will never be satisfied, and he never will be, and the same will be true for you.

He will eventually start mentioning your flaws, but he won’t find any. Because, you know, he is perfect after all.