No matter what you’re celebrating, you can count on your neighborhood narcissist friend to ruin it.
People are having fun and laughing and not focusing their attention on the narcissist? Unlimited joy and happiness? Not under the supervision of a narc.
With all the narcissists I’ve ever had, starting with my mother, I can’t count the hours I’ve spent trying to encourage them or get them to slow down their drinking into oblivion.
Finally, I learned the secret for narcissists at parties or gatherings, which is to let them act as much as they want and abandon the idea that somehow you can make them calm down and have a good time.
So, how do narcissists ruin everyone’s fun?
#Here are 9 ways narcissists ruin every social event:
1. Narcissists hijack the conversation
Narcissists make sure that all avenues of conversation lead to them. They may not say, “Enough about me, what do you think of me,” but they count the time in their heads so they can bring the focus back to them.
You can be a conversational narcissist without having narcissistic personality disorder, but most narcissists love talking about themselves.
For a narcissist, there is no doubt that he or she is the most interesting person in the room.
Related: I Fell For A Narcissist — Then Prayed For A Miracle
2. The narcissist creates every celebration of himself
It’s almost a thing of beauty how a narcissist can take a christening, a wedding, or even a birthday and talk about it.
Narcissists thrive on attention because, underneath all the overt and obvious displays of overconfidence, they feel insecure. They need people to affirm their supposed greatness.
3. They don’t let anything pass
Any perceived belittlement, indifference, or malice will turn the narcissist off and they will have to get rid of the problem.
Most people would ignore or dismiss it, but not narcissists. They thrive on confrontation and conflict, and if there is none, they will provoke some.
It is useless to ask a narcissist not to make a scene because that is what they live for – big, messy scenes that cause more stress.
4. They use your weakness against you
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is usually a good thing, but not when there are narcissists involved.
Tell them you have feelings for another party guest, and they’ll start flirting with you or turn your feelings into a weapon they can use to get you to do what they want.
Never tell a secret to a narcissist, and never share your deepest feelings with them because if you do, it may be used as a funny story for the narcissist.
5. Narcissists create conflict
Why do narcissists enjoy pitting one person against another? Because it makes them feel powerful, and it’s fun for them to watch.
Narcissists don’t think about telling lies or manipulating people using confidential information.
Narcissists will compliment one child while finding another child’s flaws.
Sometimes, narcissists are in the middle of a conflict and bring someone else into it. This is called narcissistic triangulation and they do this to avoid focusing stress on another person and to reinforce their feelings of self-worth.
Related: 12 Ways To Cope With Narcissistic Family Members During The Holidays
6. They adopt the role of victim
No one does victimhood better than a narcissist. They can interpret anything as slight, attack, or burning, and cover themselves with the victim as if it were a comfortable garment.
Victim = attention in the mind of the narcissist.
When the narcissist is at a party and misses the last glass of wine or the appetizers he was looking forward to running out of – the narcissist will view this as something that happened to intentionally hurt him.
Narcissists are always the injured party even when what happened has nothing to do with them.
7. They medicate themselves into oblivion
Not all narcissists are alcoholics or have addiction problems, but one way they cope is by drinking too much alcohol or bingeing.
Narcissists don’t think about the consequences of drunkenness, nor is it their fault that they felt compelled to relieve their pain with alcohol or whatever else they indulged in.
Remember, they are the victim here and refuse to take any responsibility for their behavior.
8. Narcissists manipulate the schedule
If dinner is served at 7:30, the narcissist will not be there until 8:15 or later. They like to make people wait for them, and this is another thing that makes them feel powerful.
I had a friend who was very late to everything. Finally, after years of being late, I started telling her that the start time was an hour earlier than it was. Of course, she had come earlier and was hurt that I had tried to trick her into urging me on.
Any type of scheduling of events, the narcissist will manipulate.
No, you cannot have the wedding on that day, it is not appropriate.
Drinks at 8? No, this does not work for a narcissist.
I’ll be in Cabo that week. Please change the date of the memorial.
Nothing goes according to schedule when a narcissist is involved.
Related: 7 Sneaky Tactics Narcissists Use To Escape Responsibility
9. They pretend that giving gifts is their love language
Narcissists never give a gift without expecting something in return.
At a wedding, birthday, or reception, the narcissist will often go overboard with an expensive gift. They do this so they can appear generous to everyone at the gathering.
Narcissists expect to be given a gift of the same kind, and when that does not happen, they will feel extremely angry.
One of the most manipulative things a narcissistic parent can do is give one of their children a wonderful gift and give nothing to another.
The best course of action for any party, gathering, or event is to not invite the narcissist if you can avoid it.
Narcissists don’t just care if they spoil the celebrations, they wish they did!
If you think you may be suffering from depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone.
