Narcissists leave destruction in their wake. They can turn you into a shell of who you once were through several tactics. They are control freaks, domineering with a need to break you down and control your mind and actions.

Anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist knows that it takes time to get back to your former self.

If you are currently in a relationship with a narcissist and you notice small signs that they are trying to break you down, it’s time to stand up for yourself. You need to set boundaries, take care of yourself, and remember that they are the problem, not you.

9 Signs to Look for When a Narcissist Is Trying to Break You Down

Here are the nine most common signs to look out for that your narcissistic partner is trying to break you down. Breaking you down gives them the power to control you.

They think they are superior, can do no wrong, and want to control every aspect of your life. Recognizing these signs early can help you protect yourself when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.

LoveYou

Narcissists are deceitful and have the ability to make you feel very special in the first few months of a new relationship. When your relationship is new and fresh, they will show you love and compliments. This helps them draw you in, and secure a long-term relationship with you.

Related : 8 Ways How Narcissists use Guilt To Control You

The first few days of a new relationship with a narcissist can be like a fairy tale. You may not believe how lucky you are to have met such a wonderful and caring person.

Unfortunately, this is short-lived. Once they have drawn you in, they slowly start working to break you down, giving them the control they so desperately want.

Isolation

After a while, you will spend less time with your family and friends. The narcissist will subtly start to sabotage your relationships with family and friends. You may realize one day that you haven’t seen your family in weeks or that you haven’t spent time with your best friends in months.

They will lie and twist the truth to make you believe that your family or friends are wrong. They may even tell you that your friends don’t love you or that your family doesn’t want the best for you. Isolation is common among victims of narcissistic relationships.

If you’ve recently noticed that you haven’t seen or spoken to your family and friends in a long time because of your partner, pick up the phone and make the call. Having a strong family and friend base is important, helping you maintain your sanity and live a happy, healthy life.

TargetingYourSuccess

Little by little, narcissists will start targeting your success. They’ll belittle the fact that you just got a promotion and you’re excited about it. They’ll tell you that there’s nothing to be excited about, leaving you feeling let down.

If you’re enjoying financial success, they’ll drain you. Why do they do this? So that you become dependent on them and they can maintain control.

By targeting any of your successes, they’re diminishing the significance of the event. This is done to make you feel worthless. Over time, when you’re told over and over that your successes don’t matter, you’ll start to break down. Once you break down, it’s easier for the narcissist to control you.

YourFeelingsDon’tMatter

Over time, your narcissistic partner will invalidate your feelings. This is because to them, what you think and feel is not important. All that matters is that you focus all your attention on them. Of course, this is not a realistic goal, but it is something that every narcissist strives for.

If you get into a fight and feel upset, your narcissistic partner will likely tell you, “You’re overreacting again,” or “Why are you always so emotional?” They ignore your feelings and focus on their own needs and desires. Without validating your feelings, you become just a shell of your former self.

Blaming Others

In their eyes, a narcissist is never at fault. They will always blame you when things don’t go their way. Whether you’re in an argument or your narcissistic partner has been accused of something by coworkers, friends, or family, they will always blame others.

Related: How Do Narcissists Make You Feel Sorry For Them?

They do this so easily that they don’t even have to think twice. It’s all about preserving their self-importance and ego. If you disagree with them, they will turn things around and blame you.

Good examples of this include, “If you hadn’t acted that way, I wouldn’t have called you names,” or “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have hit you.” Blaming others is a way to destroy you. You immediately believe that you’re the problem, not them.

Denial of wrongdoing

Another common way narcissists destroy you is by always denying any wrongdoing. As mentioned above, narcissists are never wrong in their eyes. Even when they know they are wrong, they will not admit it. They would rather make you believe that you are wrong.

They destroy you slowly by constantly denying any wrongdoing. This often leads to you reconsidering yourself. Even if you know the truth, you may wonder if you were imagining it all along.

Guilt

Narcissists are pros when it comes to guilt. Guilt is an excellent opportunity to destroy you and ultimately control your mind and actions. Guilt helps them avoid taking responsibility for anything, get what they want, and have complete control over situations.

If you have been spending quality time with your family lately, your narcissistic partner will use guilt to try to distance you from your family.

They may accuse you of not spending enough time with them or that you do not want to be with them. This causes guilt on your part. When you start feeling guilty for something you didn’t do wrong, they tear you down and take control.

Playing the Victim

Narcissists are known to play the victim when all else fails. This is a great way to destroy you and force you to do what they want. By playing the victim, the narcissist turns the tables, making you believe that they have been wronged, and perhaps even that you have wronged them.

Playing the victim makes you feel sorry for them and want to help them. At the same time, you fall deeper into their trap, allowing them to destroy and control you.

Shut Down Your Thoughts and Opinions

A narcissist doesn’t want you to have a voice. They don’t want you to have your own thoughts or opinions. They want to control every aspect of your life. One way they do this is by shutting down any thoughts or opinions you may have to tear you down.

Related : Why Narcissists Can’t Stop Lying About Stupid Things

If you come up with an idea to go out with some friends for the night, your narcissistic partner will shut down your idea, telling you that you should stay home and have a good time together.

If you’re talking to friends and they come up with a great opinion, they’ll automatically shut it down, making you feel worthless and stupid.

Identifying the common ways a narcissist tries to tear you down will help you know what to look for. When you’re in a relationship with someone like this, you should always protect yourself.

This means taking good care of yourself, knowing what signs to look for, and remembering that you’re worth it. You’re an individual, and you have a right to your own thoughts and opinions.