If you’re anything like me, you probably find first dates exciting and terrifying in equal measure.
While you may be feeling a little nervous thinking about how great the date is going to be, you may also be feeling nervous.
You may be wondering what to wear, how to act, what to say, and how to present yourself.
Will they like you? Will you like them?
If you’re hoping things go well, I have some advice for you. There are at least 13 things you shouldn’t reveal about yourself on a first date if you don’t want to alienate the other person.
Read them through, and if you realize that you’re usually revealing one or more of these things, it’s time to think about a new strategy to make your next first date a success.
1) Your Sexual History
Of course, there’s no reason for me to write this, right?
No one would ever go on a first date and end up talking about how many people they’ve slept with, who, and how many times recently.
Right?
Well, you’d be surprised.
I think some people confuse quantity with quality when it comes to sex, so they somehow think that a high number of wins is a form of bragging.
Look, if you’re going on a first date, the person is still a stranger. Your sex life is an intimate topic that should probably be reserved for someone who knows you at least a little bit.
2) You’re Still Thinking About Your Ex
Honestly, anything about your ex has no place in your first date conversation unless you both know each other and your situation.
But even then, anything more than a passing mention of your ex will make the other person uncomfortable.
It’s okay if you’re still thinking about your ex, but that doesn’t mean a potential new partner wants to hear about it.
At best, they’ll think you’re comparing them to your ex, which is an unfair expectation.
At worst, they’ll think you still have feelings for your ex (and you probably do!), and that might make them want to run away.
3) You’ve had your heart broken (too much)
The golden rule is that anytime you meet someone over the age of 25, for example, they’ve probably had their heart broken at least once.
Does that mean it’s a good topic to bring up on a first date?
Nope.
Just because you can assume that the other person has also been through heartbreak doesn’t mean they want to hear your heartbreak story.
Not right now anyway.
They’re trying to get to know you and what it might be like to be in a relationship with you.
They’re looking for someone who’s happy and who might love you, not someone sad and heartbroken.
And if you can’t avoid talking about your broken heart, stay home. It’s too early, girl.
4) You want to get married
Hey, a lot of people want to get married. Why not bring this up on a first date?
If you’re a little older and tired of investing in dead-end relationships, you might be convinced that you should cut to the chase and tell the other person what you’re looking for.
Well, I have news for you.
There’s a reason why dating apps don’t have “marriage” as one of the options you can choose to explain what you’re looking for.
Marriage is supposed to be something you do with someone you know, love, and want to spend your life with, not necessarily a goal in itself.
Bringing it up on a first date will only scare people away because you have high expectations.
5) Your burning desire to have kids
Do you already have kids?
It’s a good idea to mention this even before your first date because this is a big deal that can be a dealbreaker for many people.
But that’s a completely different story than wanting to have kids in the future.
It’s okay if you want to — lots of people do.
That doesn’t mean it’s okay to reveal yourself on a first date, though.
RELATED:7 body language gestures that instantly attract people at first sight
Whatever your financial situation, it’s best not to bring it up on a first date.
Why?
Because money is a huge issue for people, and it can make your date feel awkward.
Talking about not having enough money will make the other person feel like you’re looking for sugar.
Talking about having a lot of money can make you seem egotistical.
The best thing to do is split the bill and leave the money conversation until you get to know each other better.
7) Your Health
Unless you have a very clear condition that you need to explain, there’s no reason to bring up your health on a first date.
If you’re unhealthy anyway.
If you feel strong and healthy and like to do a lot of physical activity, this might be something you can bond over.
But leave the story of how your knee hurt before the rain and the bad stomach you’ve been having all week until you get to know each other a lot better.
8) Your Addiction
Whether you’re an alcoholic or a gambling addict, this personal information is just that: personal information.
If you’re struggling with addiction, I wish you the best of luck.
But a first date with someone you don’t know very well is not the place or time to bring it up.
Addiction scares people, and I don’t think that’s what you’re after.
But if you’re doing well and winning your battle, you can bring it up later once the other person has learned to appreciate other aspects of you.
9) Your Family Issues
Do you have a slacker brother who doesn’t work and just smokes pot and lies on the couch all day?
Do you have an aunt who always asks for money?
Do you have parents – well, we all have them.
If you have a great family, bring them up if they’re a big part of your life.
But make sure to keep the heavy, negative family stuff out of the conversation on your first date.
