Dealing with a relationship with a narcissist can be difficult. Especially when you have the audacity to challenge their authority!

You see, narcissists have a very fragile sense of self-worth, and they derive their self-esteem from constant admiration for others. So when you question their authority, you are effectively shaking the foundations of their world.

In response, they usually resort to certain tactics or behaviors that seem completely predictable once you know what to look for. And trust me, it’s not always pretty.

So, here are nine things a narcissist is likely to do when you dare challenge his authority. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

1) They play the victim card

Narcissists have a knack for playing the victim. Seems counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?

But think about it. When their authority is challenged, the narcissist often resorts to a well-rehearsed script to play the innocent or misunderstood. It is a defense mechanism cleverly designed to shift focus and gain sympathy.

You see, narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. Ironically, playing the victim can be an effective way to attract both.

It’s a manipulative tactic meant to make you feel guilty for questioning their authority, and it often works. You may find yourself apologizing or backing down, which only strengthens their control.

So, the next time you challenge a narcissist and they suddenly seem weak or aggrieved, take a step back. It could just be an act aimed at regaining their power.

2) They become very critical

In my own experience, I’ve noticed that narcissists tend to become overly critical when their authority is questioned.

Let me share a personal example. A few years ago, I worked with a manager who was a classic narcissist. He was charming, charismatic, and loved by everyone. But behind closed doors, he was a different person.

One day, I mustered up the courage to challenge one of his decisions during a team meeting. I didn’t think much at the time. It was a professional environment, and I thought my suggestion would benefit our project.

That’s when things changed. Suddenly, every job I put in wasn’t good enough. He started picking holes in everything I did and criticizing my work at every opportunity. I felt like he was trying to undermine my trust and assert his authority.

It took me a while to realize what was happening. By being overly critical, he was indirectly punishing me for challenging him and trying to make sure I wouldn’t do it again.

So, in my experience, if you question the authority of a narcissist and they suddenly start finding fault with everything you do, watch out! It could be their way of taking back control.

3) They resort to gaslighting

Gaslighting is a tactic commonly used by narcissists. Named after the 1944 film “Gaslight,” it is a form of psychological manipulation in which the manipulator makes the victim question their sanity or perception of reality.

When you challenge the narcissist’s authority, he or she may begin to gaslight you. They will deny what happened, contradict their words, or confuse you with conflicting statements. the aim? To make you doubt your memory, perception, and reason.

Over time, gaslighting can have serious effects on your mental health. It can lead to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and even depression. That’s why it’s important to recognize this tactic for what it is – a desperate attempt by a narcissist to regain their power by making you question your judgment.

4) They try to isolate you

In an attempt to regain his power, the narcissist may try to isolate you from others. It’s a classic divide-and-conquer strategy.

They may spread rumors about you or create conflicts between you and your allies, coworkers, friends, or family members. By doing so, they hope to weaken your support network and make you more dependent on them.

An isolation style can be incredibly harmful because it can lead to feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and weakness. But once you recognize it for what it is – a desperate attempt to regain control – you can start to address it. Always remember to reach out to others for support and don’t let narcissistic manipulative tactics isolate you.

5) They use the silent treatment

The silent treatment is another weapon often found in a narcissist’s arsenal. When you challenge their authority, they may respond coldly.

It’s their way of saying, “How dare you question me?” Without saying a word, they make you feel guilty and anxious, hoping you’ll give in and apologize just to end the uncomfortable silence.

But remember, the silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation, not a mature response. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic aimed at regaining control by making you feel unimportant and unworthy of their attention. Don’t let this shake your resolve or undermine your self-worth.

6) They become overly charming

Ironically, a narcissist can become very charming when his authority is challenged. But don’t let that fool you.

This is not about true affection or friendship. It is a calculated movement, like a chameleon changing colors. They will shower you with compliments, be very attentive, and make grand gestures. All this to win you over and regain their position of power.

It can be really difficult to resist this magic attack. After all, who doesn’t like to be appreciated? But it’s important to remember that it’s not about you, it’s about them and their need for control.

Under magic, the goal remains the same – to disarm your defenses and re-establish their authority. So stick to your convictions and do not let their sweet words discourage you from challenging their decisions when necessary.

7) They threaten or intimidate

Sometimes, when a narcissist feels his power is threatened, he may resort to intimidation or even threats. It is a desperate attempt to regain control by instilling fear.

A few years ago, I found myself in such a situation. I challenged a close friend who I later realized had strong narcissistic tendencies. When I confronted her about some of her behavior, she became defensive and threatened to end our friendship.

At first, it was very annoying. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, afraid that any disagreement would cost me my friend. But over time, I began to see these threats for what they were – manipulative tactics designed to keep me in line.

So, if the narcissist resorts to threats or intimidation when you challenge his authority, remember that it is not about you. It’s about their need for control. Stand your ground and don’t let their intimidation tactics deter you.

8) They shift the blame

Blame shifting is a common reaction of narcissists when their authority is challenged. Instead of admitting their mistakes or shortcomings, they will find someone else to blame.

If you point out a mistake they made, they will quickly shift the focus to something you did wrong in the past. It’s a deflection technique designed to shed heat and put you on the defensive.

This blame game can be emotionally draining because you feel like you’re always wrong, regardless of the facts. But remember, this is just another tactic narcissists use to maintain their power. Don’t let that stop you from expressing your opinion and standing up for what’s right.

9) They show anger

When all else fails, the narcissist may resort to displays of anger when his authority is challenged. This can range from tantrums to cold, calculated anger.

This anger is not just about anger. It is a tool designed to shock you and frighten you into submission. By creating a scene or unleashing their anger, they aim to make you too afraid to challenge their authority again.

But here’s the crucial part: Don’t let fear control you. It’s important to ensure your safety, of course, but don’t let their theatrical display of anger stop you from standing up for yourself. Remember, your voice and perspective matter, and no amount of narcissistic rage should silence that.

Finalthought: It’s about control

At the heart of every action the narcissist takes when his authority is challenged is the quest for control.

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and an insatiable need for control. They crave admiration, validation, and power. When threatened, they resort to various methods – manipulation, intimidation, charm, the silent treatment – all in an attempt to regain lost control.

While understanding these tactics is crucial, it is also important to remember that their behavior does not reflect your values. It’s about insecurities and fears.

So, the next time you find yourself dealing with a narcissist, remember this: You can’t change their behavior, but you can choose how to respond. Stand your ground, maintain your composure, and never let their manipulation stop you from telling the truth.