Narcissism is not about having a healthy sense of self-esteem, but rather about manipulating others to serve your interests.
But what happens when those in the narcissist’s life wise up and refuse to be exploited any further?
When you pull back the curtain and reveal their game, they often resort to certain behaviors to try to regain control. This article will take you through nine of these tactics.
So, get ready. We’re about to delve deeper into the mind of a narcissist when they realize they can no longer use you. Knowledge is power, and knowing these signs can arm you against manipulation.
1) They try to regain control
The first thing you might notice is a firm push to regain the upper hand.
Narcissists cannot tolerate losing control, especially over people they manipulate for their gain. When you withdraw, they will likely redouble their efforts to make you feel dependent on them again.
This may take the form of emotional manipulation, guilt, or even grand gestures designed to make you question your decision. They are trying to bring you back into their grid of control where they feel most comfortable.
2) They resort to gaslighting
Through my encounters, I have learned that when a narcissist feels his control is slipping, he often resorts to gaslighting.
I clearly remember the moment I decided to cut ties with a narcissistic friend.
Suddenly, she twisted past events, making me doubt my memory and my sanity. She insisted that I was overreacting, and convinced me that our issues were a figment of my imagination.
Gaslighting is a classic move: sowing seeds of doubt, leaving victims questioning their judgment. It is a subtle but powerful form of manipulation, designed to keep you under their control.
Being aware of this tactic is empowering, it strengthens your resolve and protects you from their influence.
3) They play the victim
Narcissists are experts at flipping the script. When you stop feeding their ego and demand respect, they have a knack for turning the tables and portraying themselves as the victim.
Contrary to what many people think, narcissists are not always bold and confident. Research shows that they can be incredibly sensitive to rejection and criticism. This sensitivity often leads them to adopt a victim mentality as a defense mechanism.
So, when you withdraw, don’t be surprised if they start telling stories about how you wronged them. They do this to elicit sympathy and make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself.
It’s just another way to take back control.
4) They try to make you jealous
When the narcissist feels his grip slipping, he will release the jealousy energy.
They’ll casually wonder how great their life is without you, show off their new outfit, or love the attention as if it were a game.
But don’t fall for it. It’s a clever move, designed to make you think about yourself and make you feel like you’re missing out.
But believe me, this is all just a smoke screen. They are just trying to get you back into their circus and take back control.
5) They resort to smear campaigns
When a narcissist feels your independence is a threat, he or she will unleash a storm of lies and half-truths to tarnish your name.
Their goal? Not only to tarnish your reputation, but to leave you stranded, friendless, and vulnerable. By sabotaging your reputation and bonds, they are counting on you feeling isolated and ready to be manipulated.
It’s a brutal play, no doubt. But knowing their game plan provides you with clarity, helps you see through their smear campaign, and stands tall in the face of their deception.
6) They use emotional blackmail
One of the most heartbreaking things a narcissist can do when they can’t use you is resort to emotional blackmail.
They may beg, plead, or make radical statements such as, “I can’t live without you.” They are trying to tug at your heartstrings, to make you feel responsible for their emotional well-being.
It’s a pretty unfair tactic, especially when you’ve been through so much already.
But remember that you are not responsible for their emotions or actions. You have the right to prioritize your well-being and peace of mind. It’s okay to walk away.
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7) They give you the silent treatment
This is something I witnessed. When I walked away from the narcissist in my life, I was met with a cold, deafening silence.
Where there were constant messages and calls, suddenly there was nothing. It was as if I had ceased to exist in their world. This silent treatment was their way of punishing me for being free.
It was a difficult time, full of doubt and confusion.
But over time, I realized it was just another manipulation tactic. It wasn’t about me, it was about them losing control. Understanding this has helped me move forward.
8) They project their behavior onto you
Narcissists excel at casting shade on others, especially when they’re feeling the heat.
Do you draw the line and assert your boundaries against being manipulated? bubble! Suddenly, I was the manipulative person in their eyes.
It’s a classic diversionary tactic – to take the focus away from their antics and put you in the hot seat.
But here’s the scoop: Defending yourself doesn’t make you guilty of their false accusations. It’s just another ploy in their quest for control.
9) They don’t respect your boundaries
When you’re wrestling with a narcissist, never forget that he or she never cares about your boundaries.
I put it plain and simple: I’m done with their toxicity.
But are they taking the hint? You wish. They’ll hound you with calls or pop up unannounced, all in an attempt to regain control.
But here’s the deal: stand your ground. Hold tight to your boundaries. You have every right to get rid of toxic emotions in your life. Never doubt it.
