There is a fine line between love and control, especially when it comes to a narcissist.
Narcissists have a knack for making you feel needed, diverting their attention to your emotional lifeline. They will make you believe they are indispensable, all while skillfully weaving their control over your emotions.
The hallmark of narcissism is manipulation, but the way they do it can be subtle and difficult to recognize.
In this article, I will share with you 9 tactics a narcissist uses to make you emotionally dependent on them.
1) Gaslighting
There is a particular psychological manipulation tactic that narcissists often use, known as gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you doubt your feelings, instincts, and reason. It’s the narcissist’s way of rewriting history and making you doubt your own experiences.
For example, they may dismiss your feelings or accuse you of being overly sensitive when you react to their behavior. It may also deny or distort events that occurred, causing you to question your perception.
It’s a powerful tactic that can leave you feeling confused and dependent on the narcissist for “reality.” This is one way he keeps you emotionally attached to them.
2) Emotional blackmail
Ah, emotional blackmail. It’s a term I wasn’t familiar with until I had to deal with it firsthand.
You see, I had a friend who was an expert at this. Emotional blackmail is when a narcissist uses your feelings against you to get his way. They may make you feel guilty or ashamed for not responding to their wants and needs.
My boyfriend often uses phrases like, “If you cared about me, you would…” or “I thought you were my friend, but I don’t think so if you can’t do it for me.” His words always left me feeling compelled to comply, even when it was uncomfortable or went against my better judgment.
This is a classic narcissistic tactic that makes you emotionally dependent on them. They play on your good nature and use your compassion as a weapon against you.
3) Love bombing
Love bombing is a common tactic used by narcissists. It involves excessive displays of interest and affection towards you, making you feel incredibly special and loved.
But here lies the problem. Love bombing is not honestly about love or affection, but rather a calculated attempt to influence. It is a coercive strategy used to control and manipulate by creating a strong emotional bond.
The narcissist may shower you with compliments, gifts, and declarations of undying love, but withdraw them as soon as you don’t act on his desires.
Remember that true love does not come with conditions. Don’t be fooled by narcissistic love bombing, it’s not about love, it’s about control.
4) Isolation from friends and family
The narcissist will often try to isolate you from your support networks. They may plant seeds of doubt about your friends and family, making you doubt their intentions or loyalty.
the goal? To make you feel like they are the only person who truly understands or cares about you. By shrinking your world to include only them, they create an unhealthy dependency.
This isolation can be subtle. They may express jealousy when you spend time with others or subtly criticize loved ones until you begin to see them in a negative light.
It is essential to maintain your relationships and not allow the narcissist to sever these important relationships. Your loved ones can provide perspective, support, and a vital lifeline when dealing with a narcissist’s manipulations.
5) The silent treatment
Ah, the silent treatment. It is a form of emotional manipulation that narcissists use to punish you or control the situation.
When a narcissist gives you silent treatment, he or she is effectively shutting down communication to make you feel anxious or guilty or to bully you into submission.
You may find yourself desperately trying to make amends, even when you’re not at fault, just to end that uncomfortable silence.
Remember, healthy relationships depend on open and respectful communication. The silent treatment is a way for the narcissist to exert power and control. Stand your ground and don’t let their silence manipulate you.
6) Constant criticism
Dealing with a narcissist often feels like walking on eggshells. Their constant criticism can lower your self-esteem, making you feel insecure and emotionally dependent on their approval.
They may belittle your accomplishments, criticize your appearance, or make you feel inadequate in other ways. This constant negativity can be exhausting and disheartening.
Remember that no one has the right to underestimate your self-worth. You are enough just the way you are, and you don’t need the narcissist’s validation to prove it.
Stand strong in the face of their criticism and remember to value yourself.
7) Cycle of abuse
A relationship with a narcissist often feels like a never-ending rollercoaster ride, full of highs and lows.
There are moments of intense love and affection, followed by periods of cold indifference or outright hostility. This is known as the cycle of abuse, and it is confusing, to say the least.
I remember feeling trapped in this cycle, constantly wishing for the loving, charming person I thought I knew to come back, only to be met with indifference or cruelty once again.
The key is to recognize this cycle for what it is – a manipulation tactic designed to keep you unbalanced and emotionally dependent. Once you see the pattern, you can start taking steps to break free.
8) Take control of your life
The narcissist will often try to control different aspects of your life. This could be anything from how you spend your time, and who you interact with, to what you wear.
Their need for control is a way to maintain power in the relationship. You can feel suffocated as if you are losing your independence and becoming an extension of the narcissist.
Remember that you have the right to make your own choices and live your life on your terms. Don’t allow a narcissist’s controlling behavior to dictate your life.
Stand up for yourself and regain your independence.
9) Playing the victim
One of the most powerful tactics a narcissist uses is playing the victim. They have an uncanny ability to twist situations, making you feel like the bad guy while they are the innocent party.
This can make you feel guilty, question your actions, and even apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s their way of avoiding responsibility and keeping you emotionally entangled.
But here’s what you need to know: You are not responsible for the narcissist’s feelings or well-being.
Don’t let playing the victim manipulate your emotions. Be firm in your understanding of the situation and do not be swayed by their false narratives.
