Would you be able to recognize the signs that you are dating a narcissist, or do you just suspect that something is not “quite right” in your relationship?
Regardless of your understanding of narcissism in relationships, if you think you are dating a narcissist, it is important to know what to expect so that you are not shocked later.
Related: Narcissistic Men Try To Make You Feel Crazy — Don’t Let Them
Narcissists may seem incredibly attractive – before you even get to know them.
Therefore, it is important to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse before it happens.
When you first met your significant other, he was probably very charming. They may have gone out of their way to express their interest in you, whether that means leaving you love notes or showing up with lavish gifts.
They may have told you they loved you after just a few weeks together. But then something happened.
Maybe you didn’t call one night after you got home from a meeting with friends, or maybe you couldn’t meet them for lunch because you had a business meeting, or maybe you decided you’d rather go to bed early than catch up on a business meeting. Movie with them.
Whatever the case, it’s likely that something disappointed your significant other, and things have never been the same since.
This is what people who have been in relationships with narcissists often describe as the turning point when things change in their relationship.
Narcissists can be difficult to spot, especially when you are romantically involved with one.
In general, you don’t look for the obvious signs of narcissism, and are often blinded by what used to be – that charming behavior that initially caught your attention.
Is it possible to date a narcissist? how do you know? What are some signs?
Here are 9 surprising signs that you are dating a narcissist.
- They came off very strong at first.
Lust is a part of any relationship, but when that lust turns too quickly into one partner telling the other how “in love” they are and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with them or that he can’t imagine his life without them, it can be a cause for concern.
Narcissists often try to create superficial connections early in a relationship before really getting to know someone.
- Conversations revolve around them.
Narcissists love attention. They love to talk about themselves and how great they are.
They tend to exaggerate their achievements to try to make themselves look better. Sometimes, they make it difficult to get a word across sharply.
- They feed on compliments
Narcissists tend to appear to have high self-esteem, but in reality they need constant praise. If you don’t give it to them, they will hunt for it.
They often use other people to increase their self-worth and feel more powerful.
- They lack empathy
Empathy is the ability to see and feel what others feel. Narcissists are unable to understand the subjective experience of others.
They often lack the ability to make others feel validated, understood, or accepted.
Related: How Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Psychopaths Manipulate You Into Emotionally Abusive Relationships
- They don’t have many lifelong friends
It is difficult for narcissists to continue relationships of any kind. They may talk about friends, but they are more likely to be acquaintances, casual companions, or enemies.
They also tend to get angry when you mention your friends or try to make plans with people other than them.
- They always tease you
A little teasing here and there can be harmless and fun for any relationship, but it becomes annoying when it’s mean or persistent. You may feel like you can’t do anything right, or that what you’re doing isn’t good enough.
They don’t like the clothes you wear, the color of your hair, or the programs you watch on TV.
The narcissist’s rejection or criticism often begins subtly and increases over time.
- They distort your reality.
They may distort the truth, spread lies, or falsely accuse others, all in the name of controlling your life. This is called gaslighting and is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse.
For example, she may tell you that your mother didn’t return your call because she no longer cares, or say that she saw your friends at an event to trigger feelings of neglect or unlove.
- They think they are always right and never apologize.
There is no discussion or bargaining with the narcissist. It may feel like they never hear or understand you.
They rarely take responsibility for anything, and they rarely apologize if they make a mistake.
- They panic if you try to end things.
You may have already noticed that things are not right and tried to end the relationship. Your partner has probably gone into a panic mode, promising to change and be very loving and affectionate.
They may also have said bad things about you, such as, “You don’t know how to live without me,” and may have tried to turn friends and family against you.
Dating a narcissist can be stressful and leave you feeling lost, defeated, and down on yourself.
It is important to always practice self-care and develop healthy friendships. Asking for support can be helpful in helping you get out of the relationship and heal yourself.
