Do you think you’ve found the perfect person? They’re charming, handsome, successful, and full of compliments. You’re mesmerized when they stare into your eyes…

A relationship with a narcissist starts off well. They tend to be charming, charismatic, and seem genuinely interested in meeting “the one.”

A narcissist will often tell their new partner that they’re “the man (or woman) of their dreams,”

that they were “meant to be,” and that they’re “soulmates” and will make them feel very special. They usually want to move quickly into the relationship.

This honeymoon phase ends quickly, often within 4 months, as they reveal their true colors—and being with a narcissist quickly turns from a dream to a nightmare.

As one anonymous woman said in a book review on Amazon:

“He went from loving, loyal, and committed to cold, critical, and unfaithful, overnight. None of it made sense, and waiting for him to get back to the way he was was practically killing me.

Because the relationship started out so well and the ugly behavior seemed to come out of nowhere, even the most well-adjusted people can fall for the narcissist’s web of deception.

In retrospect, they may realize they saw a lot of red flags, but because the narcissist’s initial illusion was so great, the warning signs were ignored.

Narcissists can be hard to spot—they’re so charming and persuasive!

They’ve spent their entire lives honing their craft.

But there are signs you can spot in your partner that will tell you if you’re dating a narcissist and heading for a future of pain.

9 Signs You’re Dating a Dangerous Narcissist

Narcissism ranges from the overbearing “egomaniacal” to the more severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people, so it’s a fairly common disorder.

The American Psychological Association lists nine core traits of narcissism, but a person only needs five of them to qualify as Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

1) Feels grandiose and self-important for reasons that aren’t supported by reality

Have you ever met an unattractive, under-employed guy with a terrible personality who thinks he deserves to date supermodels? You may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

2) Is obsessed with fantasies about unlimited success, fame, power, or omnipotence.

“After I travel the world and write my book, I will sell it to Hollywood,

Johnny Depp will play me. “Then I will start my business and do consulting, give speeches all over the world for huge sums of money…” etc.

3) Believes he is unique and special and can only be understood by unique or high-status people

He can be the person no one understands. He feels so unique and rare that no one can compete with him, and you probably can’t even understand half of the amazing ideas that are going through his head.

4) Requires excessive admiration, flattery, attention, and affirmation

You: “Oh yeah, you sounded perfect on the phone with your boss!

You complimented him but you made some good points about yourself, I can’t believe how well you handled that.” Repeat this 100 times or however long it takes for him to stop looking for compliments and positive comments.

5) He feels entitled

This extends to everything from your time, your body, your possessions, his possessions, and special treatment/service.

A typical example of this is expecting you to have sex when he wants it, even if you’re having a bad day and don’t want to have sex.

6) He takes advantage of others without guilt or remorse

“Of course my sister would drop everything and find a babysitter for the kids and come over here to help me paint my bathroom!”

7) He lacks empathy

He can complain and whine for hours about all his problems, real and imagined, but when you need to talk about a coworker or a sick relative,

he suddenly gets too busy or he might just give you a blank stare and say “Oh, I’m sure everything is fine.” It will be fine.”

Related :! 10 Reasons Why The Narcissist Hates You

8) Tends to be envious of others or believes that others are envious of them

May believe that no one deserves a high-paying job, flashy material possessions, or an attractive spouse and will not hesitate to declare this and compare others to them negatively,

because they clearly deserve these “rewards.”

9) Displays arrogant and haughty behavior

Believes they are better than everyone else, and shows a clear lack of interest in anything that does not directly relate to them,

including your friends, family, or interests.

Struts like a rooster or peacock, speaks loudly so that everyone can hear everything they say, cares about appearance, etc.

If the person you are dating exhibits four or five of these signs, seriously consider continuing your relationship with him or her.

It is more complicated in the beginning when it is not so obvious, when the person you are dating is cleverly disguised as Prince Charming.

He is fun to be around. He is playful and exciting, and seems like your true soul mate.

It’s easy to lose your mind and heart once you get emotionally or sexually involved.

What are some early signs?

When you express your needs, he gets defensive. The narcissist puts his needs first. He doesn’t care about what matters to you, and he’ll defend himself instead of apologizing.

When things get tough, he starts to move. The narcissist can’t handle the stress of your emotional life. He won’t be there to support you once you’re in any kind of personal crisis.

When he’s hurt, he doesn’t feel sad. He feels angry. If you express your upset about something he said or did, he’ll get angry at you and avoid taking responsibility for his actions.

He alternates between enthusiasm and coldness. Narcissists will give you mixed signals. He’ll be really into you, telling you that you’re the most amazing woman he’s ever met, and the next day, he’ll pull away and act aloof. It’s crazy.

He gets angry when you discuss exclusivity. Narcissists are often infatuated with their freedom. If you talk to him about commitment after dating for a few months, he will likely feel like a caged bird and blame you for wanting to put him in a cage.

His actions and words don’t match up. Pay more attention to what he does than what he says. Many narcissists are wordsmiths. They lure you in with their charming words but don’t follow through.

The professional psychology community mostly agrees that a narcissist can’t be changed much,

so you can either put up with the toxic relationship or you can leave him and reclaim your sanity.