After another heated argument with your partner about the same issue, you know deep down that there is something wrong with this person.
You don’t want to be accused of overreacting, so you hesitate to call what they’re doing emotional abuse or allow yourself to think they might be narcissistic.
Related: How To Deal With A Spiritual Narcissist — The Most Dangerous Type Of Narcissist
Here are 9 signs of narcissistic abuse, explained by one therapist:
1. Your partner lacks empathy and is extremely selfish.
If your partner habitually ignores your needs and feelings, there’s a good chance he doesn’t care about you because his only real goal in life is to know what other people can do for him.
Low empathy goes hand in hand with the ability to use others for personal gain. If being kind and generous towards you results in some benefit for them, they will do so.
This contradictory behavior undoubtedly leaves you puzzled because you realize that they know how to act but deliberately choose not to.
2. Your partner is conceited and arrogant.
If your partner expects to be viewed and treated as superior – with or without achievements to back that up – it is very likely that something is not right. They may exaggerate their accomplishments or even completely fabricate their hero stories.
Interestingly, they may seek out other people who they believe are equally exceptional because anything less would be unworthy of them and all their self-aggrandizing superiority, while seething with resentment toward them.
3. Your partner has an insatiable need for approval and adoration.
If you’ve noticed a pattern in your partner of needing you to constantly stroke their ego and tell them they’re geniuses, a hot smoker, and more talented than everyone else at everything, it’s probably got you wondering. Can you remember this ego boost for longer than 20 minutes before you need another compliment?
They may also focus on delusions of power, status, authority, intellect, and other qualities that are externally focused on because they need to feed the need for importance.
4. Your partner asserts his power and dominance.
Narcissists have a fragile sense of self, and because of these deep-rooted feelings of vulnerability, they overcompensate by being obsessed with power and control.
They often seek jobs and relationships where they are in a position of power, where they can justifiably force others to do things their way or influence situations to reinforce their constant need to prove their self-importance.
Unfortunately, they may seek out strong partners and enjoy the challenge of breaking them.
Related: 6 Signs Of A Narcissist That Are Super Easy To Miss
5. Your partner has an exaggerated sense of entitlement.
Does your partner demand and expect that they deserve immediate, automatic compliance without question? Do they feel insulted if they consider life difficult as if they are owed something special? Do they feel entitled to respect, love, and compassion but do not feel a responsibility to extend the same courtesy to others?
If this is the case, this is not just a bad attitude, it is an attitude that has turned into malicious behavior.
6. Your partner feels resentful and envious of other people’s success.
This comes along with their entitled outlook on life. They may see someone else’s achievement as a threat to their superiority and feel competitive toward them. They are often petty, childish, and jealous because they see people as competitors.
Because of this wrong mindset, they also believe that others are jealous of them.
7. Your partner is vindictive, aggressive, and moody.
When individuals feel resentful and have immature emotional development, they tend to behave with patterns of unpredictability. Like Jekyll and Hyde, their behavior fluctuates widely (and quickly) between normal and downright reprehensible.
They are often passive-aggressive, moody, complaining, consider themselves the victim, are preoccupied with plotting and taking revenge on others, and enjoy criticism.
All of these traits cause your inner voice to scream, “What is wrong with the world?”
8. Your partner is defensive and oversensitive.
Narcissists are unable to accept criticism and tend to view any feedback as a threat and insult.
If you notice that your partner gets extremely upset when you make the slightest suggestion that contradicts what he said, gets upset if you give him feedback, or even gets angry if you completely disagree with him, then you are dealing with someone who is undeniably toxic.
9. Your partner has a changing personality.
This is the basis of a poorly formed sense of self and is usually displayed as public displays of love and kindness followed by acts of cruelty and changed opinions.
There is total frustration in being with someone who presents themselves as having fixed (even exaggerated) opinions that are presented as true convictions a minute later but who state contradictory opinions hours or minutes later. You know that this character deficit is unusual.
Their chosen personality often depends on the company they’re in, their goal (to impress, impress, or appear cultured), and how they will benefit.
People experiencing narcissistic abuse often feel an instinctive instinct to run early but convince themselves to ignore even the most obvious signs. Unfortunately, staying with a narcissist for too long only leads to more pain.
#What is narcissistic abuse?
Only qualified mental health professionals can diagnose someone with BPD (or any mental health condition). Educating yourself about narcissistic abuse can save you or someone you love a tremendous amount of trauma.
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse inflicted by a person with personality traits consistent with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or other related personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) and antisocial personality disorder (i.e., sociopaths or psychopaths). .
As Alice Little, author of The Facts about Narcissistic Abuse, explains, “Narcissists withhold affection to punish you. Withhold attention to retaliate. And withhold an empathic emotional response to make you feel insecure…Narcissistic abuse is not just that someone dumped you or you had a little fight with them. Narcotics Anonymous is Psychological abuse and brainwashing using intermittent reward and punishment, coercive control, and withholding normal empathic emotional reactions to lower your self-esteem.
So, this deep feeling is your wise inner voice telling you that this relationship is not normal, and that this person refuses to be accountable for their actions – how can you be responsible for everything? -And that you may be a victim of narcissistic abuse.
While a person who treats you in this way may not meet all the criteria for a clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, he or she may still exhibit many narcissistic traits, and his treatment of you may certainly rise to the level of narcissistic abuse.
#What is narcissistic victim syndrome?
If you recognize any of the above signs in your relationship, you may be suffering from narcissistic victim syndrome. Simply put, narcissistic victim syndrome describes the effects of narcissistic abuse, which can be long-lasting and have detrimental effects on the patient’s mental health.
These mental health effects include depression, loneliness, stress, anxiety, fatigue, and many of the symptoms associated with PTSD — flashbacks of traumatic experiences, intrusive thoughts, and emotional or physical triggers.
