Is it possible that you are not as humble and content as you think? The truth is that you can have a sense of entitlement.
I like to think I’m a balanced human being, even though I suffer from many forms of mental illness. Do I have a sense of entitlement? Honestly, I’m sure I show it from time to time. I may not even recognize many of these symptoms. This entitlement is closely linked to the unhealthy aspects of narcissism. He falls more or less on the selfish side of the narcissistic spectrum.
Yes, the feeling of entitlement is difficult to recognize because of this association, and can hide its true identity under feelings of modesty. There’s also no age preference for this feeling either. You can feel entitled as an adult, and you can feel the same right at 75 years old. In case you don’t understand what a feeling of entitlement means, here’s one definition:
In psychology, a sense of entitlement is a personality trait that makes a person feel as if they deserve more than what society offers them. These are sometimes unrealistic and undeserved demands for improved living conditions or treatment.
9 Signs that you have a sense of entitlement
In case you’re wondering if this is you, if you have a sense of entitlement, there are signs that raise red flags. A red flag is a warning of something, and it’s usually in the right place. So, here are some pointers that might fit into this themed collection.
- Excellence
Although on the surface you may not think you feel superior, there may be a bit of a “better than the rest” mentality lurking between your ears. I’ve noticed it in myself sometimes, usually after someone points it out and I feel angry. My anger revealed my guilt, you see. Feeling superior to others is easier than you think, so you should always be aware of this trait. This is one of the aspects of entitlement. - Unrealistic expectations
You may often feel like someone owes you things, or that you feel cheated. This is considered unrealistic expectations from others. This is a sign that you think you deserve more than you do. Most often, this feeling comes from past abuse in relationships or from neglect by your parents. It can also come from letting down your best friend or getting fired from a previously praised job.
Your sense of right and wrong can quickly become overridden, damaging your confidence…thus creating this unrealistic demand mentality. This sign is noticed when you start to feel that nothing is going as it should.
- Self-pity
Yes, people are unfair, and they can hurt you for no real reason at all. Self-pity can start here, where unjustified hurt occurred. The right thing to do in these situations is to bear the hurt and learn from it, to become a stronger person. But if the wound is not healed, self-pity will grow, and then it will mature into a ridiculous sense of worth.
I’ve done this myself before. Once, I was hurt so badly that I expected everyone to recognize the pain and feel sorry for me. It didn’t go the way I thought it would, and eventually someone asked me to grow up. It was tough, but they were right to tell me that.
- Bullying
Those who feel entitled are vulnerable to bullying others. It starts with low self-esteem, which then leads you to attack others to lower their self-worth. The goal is to leapfrog others by using them as a springboard.
But you should keep in mind that those you trample will feel the same low feelings, and if they are not strong enough, they will also bully others. Not only are you responsible for bullying people, but you are potentially starting a negative pattern that could ruin many lives due to self-entitlement. So, if you feel like you’re a bully, you’re guilty of a worse mindset than just being mean.
- Double standards
Another sign that you may have a sense of entitlement is that you use double standards in life. For example, it may not be okay for your adult child to get drunk, but you think it is okay for you to do the same when he is not around. It may be a good idea to leave your clothes scattered, and yet you yell at your husband because he leaves his things outside all the time.
Do you see the pattern? Living this way is very obvious to others, so keep in mind that they know you are being unfair, and basically hypocritical. Maybe you should check the specific criteria you set for yourself.
- There is no middle ground
Did you know that effective communication means compromise? Especially if you are in an argument. If you feel like someone owes you something in life, you will hate settling. I’m not sure, but I have set standards and ethics, and sometimes, I hold on to them so tightly that I refuse to compromise with others.
Now, I’m not saying that your standards or morals aren’t important because they are. What I’m saying is that somewhere, somehow, you’re going to have to come to a compromise with the people you care about. Otherwise they may not last long. So, if you’re not willing to compromise at all, then you have a problem, and no, it’s not the other person. it’s you!
- Attention, praise and admiration
If you feel like you are above everyone, you will crave the spotlight. There is not enough attention to you. You’re always angling for compliments and posting everything you buy on social media, leaving you struggling all the time just to maintain the same level of admiration you had the day before.
In your eyes, others owe you all the love and comfort now that you have done your share of good deeds. For every negative thing you’ve endured from the past, there’s a certain retaliation, and what’s worse is that all the care in the world is never enough.
- Use of sanctions
Another sign that you may have a “sudden” sense of entitlement is the use of punishments. I do not mean that you should punish your children for disobedience as some do. I mean you are punishing other adults for not giving you exactly what you want.
Here’s an example: Let’s say your best friend doesn’t come to visit you as often as you think she should and she gets angry about it. Well, I decided she deserved to be punished, so I stopped answering her calls or texts. When your best friend comes to see you, the attitude is to greet them at the door.
While this may seem like nothing to some people, it is actually a negative reaction driven by a need for entitlement. You feel worthy of her attention and love. When in reality, you are both equal and deserve the same amount of respect. Non-toxic actions are when you give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she didn’t come because she might be too busy to come visit.
- Everyone is a threat or competition
Remember, feeling entitled means that no one is equal to you, right? Well, this means that everyone is either a threat to your well-being, or they are competitors that you must constantly monitor. Even your closest friends are not allowed to pass through the veil of doubt and mistrust. You keep them close to you, but far enough away that they can’t access how you really feel about them.
Entitlement means jealousy, hatred, and gossip. All of these things come with insecurity and hatred of others.
Do you secretly suffer from a feeling of entitlement?
Sometimes, the things you do that seem normal, may actually be a bit toxic. I had to learn this the hard way after hurting people or being told I was doing things right. But this is not a witch hunt, no.
Every human being on earth is imperfect. We all have skeletons in our closets, crosses to bear, and quirks we can’t even see. When we cannot see these things, we consider our lives to be fair and good. However, the goal is to learn more and more every day about how to be better people. We analyze ourselves, check how we relate to others, and strive to be good at every opportunity.
If we want a better world, guess what? It starts first with our changes. We have to see our sense of entitlement for what it is and change a little at a time. Why should we change slowly? Well, because it’s not fair to be so hard on ourselves, and it’s not fair to be so hard on others. I want you to remember that. So, take your time and be honest with yourself. This is the only way to make those lasting improvements.
