Recently, an increasing number of books, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, and social networking sites have focused on narcissistic victim syndrome.
As with most newly recognized and understood psychological or relational phenomena, descriptive and diagnostic data must be developed so that they can be accepted in broader clinical/mental health circles. The more research and writing on this topic, the more likely effective treatment and support services will be developed.
Although it occupies only a few paragraphs in this manuscript, its importance and relevance to the material on human magnet syndrome is great.
Narcissistic victim syndrome and human magnet syndrome are not related and bear little resemblance to each other. NVS focuses on a pattern of abuse perpetrated by a narcissist on a codependent victim.
At its simplest, HMS explains why opposite personalities are attracted to each other, and why relationships persist even though one or both people are unhappy. Regardless of the differences, I estimate that at least 75% of people in codependent relationships with narcissists suffer from some form of NVS.
Related: The Real Reason Why Your Narcissist Husband Has Zero Compassion For You Or Your Kids
NVS is a chronic pattern of physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse perpetrated by a pathological narcissist against vulnerable and most vulnerable individuals. Because victims of NAS typically lack confidence, self-esteem, and social support, they are vulnerable to feeling trapped by the perpetrator.
The experience of being trapped may be an accurate assessment or the result of carefully cultivated “trapped narratives,” also known as “gaslighting.”
Victims of NAS come from all walks of life. However, people who feel trapped, believe they can control or mitigate the abuse, or believe they deserve it, are codependent or suffer from self-deficit disorder.
NAS is a chronic condition caused by human magnet syndrome. The complex psychological and relational dynamics of HMS are responsible for the formation and maintenance of the relationship between perpetrator and victim, and the inability to end it.
Victims of NAS, and their dependents, are either unable or believe they are unable to end the abuse and/or relationship for the following reasons:
1. Uncertainty about the nature of the abuser’s true danger.
2. Fear of actual consequences.
3. Fear of consequences/retaliation.
4. Fear of social and family rejection and isolation (siding with the aggressor).
5. The physical trap.
6. Financial trap.
7. Various forms of active, passive, and subtle coercion and manipulation.
8. A successful gaslighting campaign.
9. Tendency towards interdependence and a pathological fear of loneliness.
As pathological narcissists, BPD perpetrators suffer from either narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial personality disorder and/or addictive disorder.
The less empathy a perpetrator has, the more effective he is at controlling and controlling his prey. They maintain power and control over their victims by beating them or weakening their resolve to defend themselves or seek protection or help.
Various forms of direct, passive, and covert manipulation and aggression ensure that the victim stays in the relationship, while the dependent person neither resists nor exposes them.
The most effective form of the NVS trap comes from sustained brainwashing and/or gaslighting campaigns perpetrated by a pathological narcissist who is either a sociopath (antisocial personality disorder) or someone with sociopathic traits.
Related: 9 Dominant Traits That Reveal Someone Might Have Narcissistic Personality Disorder
#Ten tips to defend against narcissistic victim syndrome
1. Learn the observation and non-absorption (ODA) technique.
Conscious, preventive detachment will prevent you from fighting a losing battle.
2. Get an outside opinion.
Confidentiality or privacy always works to the advantage of the abuser.
3. Prepare to react.
Abusers use intimidation and threats of worse abuse when someone resists or shows signs of improving mental health.
4. Do proactive research.
Research shelters, police, and other support and safety services.
5. Seek professional psychotherapy help from someone who knows about NAS.
Therapists who do not have this background may do more harm than good.
6. Learn about the power of self-love.
Self-love is the antidote to codependency.
7. Moving from lack of self-love to self-love.
Make it your priority.
8. Find support or a 12-step group.
Some suggestions include Co-Dependent Anonymous (CoDA) and Al-Anon.
Related: 5 Signs You’re In Love With A Narcissist Who Will Never (Ever) Change
