Trust and loyalty are the pillars of any strong friendship, but sometimes it’s not so easy to distinguish good friends from bad ones.
Discovering that your friends aren’t very loyal can be difficult, especially if you’ve invested time and care in that person.
But I’ll tell you right now – spotting these red flags can save you a lot of heartache in the long run, because it prevents you from investing time in a one-sided friendship…
(Or someone who will stab you in the back isn’t that far out of line.)
Related : If someone is emotionally manipulating you, they’ll display these 8 subtle behaviors
In this article, we’ll cover the nine red flags you should definitely watch out for that indicate your friend isn’t as trustworthy as you think.
The insight might save your friendship—or help you move on.
1) They are not there when you need them
Life is full of ups and downs, and our friends and loved ones are the ones we turn to in times of crisis.
Now, there will be a truly loyal friend by your side when you go through tough times.
Whether it’s someone who listens to you, a shoulder to cry on, or just some support and strength, good friends will stick by your side no matter how tough things get.
But the friend who steps up and disappears when things get tough or becomes distant and unresponsive?
This is a major red flag!
Loyalty isn’t just about being there for the good times and enjoying the ride.
It’s also about showing up during tough times and being willing to do what you can to help a friend.
So beware of those who disappear into thin air when you need them.
True friends will be there through it all.
2) Broken promises
Broken promises are bad.
Especially if you are coming from a place where no one trusts you, and you decide to put your trust in a friend and trust that they will keep their word.
Sure, sometimes things get in the way of promises, but with a good friend, that happens rarely and far between.
So be careful of a lot of false promises.
Not only does this put the spotlight on someone who can’t keep their word and isn’t trustworthy, it can also have long-term detrimental effects on your ability to trust people.
Constant broken promises only show a lack of respect for your time and feelings.
True friendship is built on trust and reliability, so if these elements are missing, you are probably dealing with an unfaithful friend.
3) Gossip mill
If someone is gossiping with you and telling you other people’s secrets, there is an inevitable possibility that they will gossip behind your back and reveal your secrets as well.
Most of us engage in a little gossip, but beware of those who seem to be running the rumor mill.
They’re probably sharing a lot of the stories you tell them in good faith, too.
Whoever cannot keep your secrets cannot be trusted…
4) Serious competition
A little healthy competition between friends can be fun and encourage everyone to try harder.
But how tiring is it when someone turns every small project into a full-fledged competition?
Nothing is safe, not even something as trivial as who has the prettiest bedclothes…
Just know that a loyal friend will celebrate your accomplishments and be happy with your successes, no matter how big or small.
Related : If someone is trying to manipulate you, they’ll display these 12 subtle behaviors
They will never try to outdo you or belittle your accomplishments.
5) You are always the one reaching out
Ask yourself:
If you stopped communicating and making plans altogether, would you ever hear from this person again?
Communication is a two-way street.
If you’re always the one initiating contact or making plans, it could be a sign that the friendship isn’t as balanced as it should be.
A loyal and trustworthy friend will show interest in your life and make an effort to stay in touch.
They’ll check in with you regularly, suggest hangout plans, and have a regular chat.
If you find yourself always being the one reaching out, this may indicate that your friend is not as interested in the friendship as you are.
True mutual loyalty means being present and actively participating – not just responding when appropriate.
6) Indifferent to your feelings
Friendships are about communication, understanding, and most importantly, valuing each other’s feelings.
So, if you’ve ever shared something important to you with this person and they’ve met you with sarcasm or laughter, that’s a bad sign!
A loyal friend will treat your feelings with respect.
They will give you their full, undivided attention when you speak, empathize with your experiences, and validate your feelings.
Forget minimizing your feelings or making you feel like you’re overreacting.
But if your friend repeatedly ignores your feelings, it may be a painful sign of disloyalty that you should watch out for.
7) Miraculously reappear when they need something from you
They disappear for a while because they are so bad at keeping in touch or being there when you need them.
Then suddenly they appeared again!
At first, you’re happy to see them. you are friends! They’re probably just checking up on you…
“Hey, I need a favor…”
Here she comes!
It seems like a friend is only there when they need a favor or some support, but is nowhere to be seen when things are going well for them, it’s a red flag.
True friends won’t disappear and reappear just when they need a favor.
8) You are never happy
A person who seems reluctant to tell you that you’re doing a good job or celebrate when you accomplish something likely doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
A loyal friend will be really happy for you when you succeed.
They won’t let jealousy or insecurity get in the way of recognizing your accomplishments, and will encourage you no matter what.
True friendship is never a competition.
This means supporting each other in good and bad times.
9) Betrayal
Finally, outright infidelity is a very clear red flag when it comes to friendship.
Betrayal can come in many shapes and forms; Revealing your secrets, lying to you, or lying about their actions.
Any breach of trust can be extremely painful and devastating.
So, if your friend has betrayed your trust, it may be time to re-evaluate your friendship.
True and sincere loyalty means respecting boundaries, maintaining trust, and being honest – no exceptions!
The importance of loyalty…
Friendships are one of the greatest blessings on earth.
Related : If you get needy and jealous in your relationships, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors
Friends lift us up, laugh with us, and support us no matter what.
But a friend who displays one or all of the nine red flags above?
Well, watch your back is all I can say!
If you notice these warning signs only occasionally, consider having an honest conversation with the person and letting them know how their behavior affects you.
If this behavior persists, consider whether the friendship is truly serving you, as it matters who you spend your time and energy with.
