Narcissists are known for their delight in seeing your world turned upside down. It’s no laughing matter that your misery can set them up for their day in all the right ways…
…but why?!
Isn’t it enough for victims to endure this injustice? Why is a narcissist at their happiest while you suffer like this?
There are reasons, many, in fact.
If you feel like you’re just surviving in the presence of a narcissist, let me explain exactly why…
Is that even possible…?!
Oh, narcissists are capable of success, as much as it pains me to say it.
But they can’t succeed all the time while you feel happy and everything is going well.
It’s like having two main characters in one book—that’s simply not possible for a narcissist.
They must always be the center of attention—and the only way to achieve that is if you’re going through something major that inevitably leads to suffering.
10 Reasons Narcissists Thrive When You Suffer
- They Don’t Care
The main message—and the first of ten—is the dark truth that no narcissist cares about you at all.
I know you’ve probably been made to feel that way, but imagine it’s actually true.
If that were the case, would you think they’d go out of their way to make you suffer, and then love it when you do?
Related : Is Your Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? 9 Ways to Help Her Break Free
It’s paradoxical, isn’t it? So the truth is, they don’t care, and not enough people confirm this when they’re allowed to.
They put a lot of effort into convincing themselves that the narcissist cares and loves, and excuses are made.
But they really don’t.
That’s why your misery feels good to them.
- They Think It’s About Them
The only thing narcissists love is feeling like they’ve been the cause of your misery.
Not only does this bring the concept of power and control to life, but it also brings to life the idea that they can upset you.
In other words, how a narcissist acts, you react to them.
Imagine having all this power over someone. Any narcissist loves to know they have all this power, because power is what they live for.
- They Love It When Things Don’t Go Their Way
Life isn’t perfect, and even though you know it, narcissists do everything they can to ensure it does. When things don’t go their way—when life throws you a curveball—they like to watch with wide eyes.
You feel frustrated, have to change your plans, and often have to seek help or support at the last minute.
They love to face an obstacle in their path because it unsettles an already troubled person.
Related : 8 Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know
It’s cheap fun for narcissists, but in their chaos, they truly thrive.
- It makes them feel better about their lives
Narcissists can really fake it, can’t they?
Look at me, everything is going great!
I’m enjoying life!
No, they’re not. They have a miserable life. Filled with hatred, jealousy, and an inability to love or care for anyone.
What’s more beautiful than seeing your suffering?!
Suddenly, their lives don’t seem so bad. You lose your job, or your rent goes up, and you wonder how you’ll cope.
In difficult moments like these, narcissists respond with a sarcastic smile, instantly making them feel better about their miserable lives.
- They know you’ll need them
The first thing you do when you start to struggle is, of course, to turn to your loved ones for support. It’s natural, and we all do it.
The problem is that you turn to a narcissist; the person you know can’t give you anything back unless it’s additional pain or negativity.
But when they know you need them, they may escalate and make matters worse.
- Your happiness makes them miserable
Your worthlessness can only be manifested through their desire to make you miserable. If you’ve repressed them at their core, their feelings of inadequacy won’t reach you.
This happens to so many people, and I get so angry that narcissists do it. It’s like stripping someone of their essence just because “you can.”
No, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make it right at all.
If you’re naturally happy, you’ll be seen as possessing a wealth of wealth that the narcissist will steal and never return.
If you’re happy, they’re not. So, all they have left to do or say is make you miserable so they can succeed.
Being higher than you on the happiness scale won’t help, so expect them to change that.
- Don’t make them jealous
If you’re struggling, why would you be jealous?!
Narcissists don’t want you to make a difference. They can’t stand the idea of you succeeding, achieving your goals, or accomplishing amazing things.
Related : 9 Awkward Reasons Why Narcissists Enjoy Dating Other Narcissists
How dare you?!
What they can do in these situations is take away from you what could lead to success.
Say goodbye to your self-confidence. If you’ve lost it, it’s unlikely you’ll want to ruin your life.
Jealousy fuels a narcissist’s anger, threatening their image. If they don’t have something to do, they won’t get the attention they feel they deserve. They have to be perfect, or their image will crumble.
If you’re struggling, they’ll remain at the peak of their appeal.
- Give them a chance to shine
While you cling to all the dark days of your life, the narcissist shines in theirs.
It’s as if your suffering has sapping your energy, and instead of offering support, listening, and caring, they’re using the opportunity to be brighter.
It’s just another way they learn to exploit you, kicking you when you’re down.
- Your pain is their source of power
You have to consider their source of power as the narcissist’s true fuel. It’s the fuel for their ego, which they can’t live without, and every time you feel miserable, you give them more.
What kind of world do we live in when one person’s pain is useful to another? I always take this opportunity to say that narcissists are incapable of love—just in case you need that reminder.
