Are the people around you sincere in your dealings? What if I told you that some oft-used phrases are just smokescreens that mask insincerity and insincerity?
Get ready for an eye-opening journey as we reveal the most insidious phrases people use to disguise their true intentions.
That would be a good idea!
1) I will definitely keep that in mind
We’re coming hard out of the gates with this one. “I’ll definitely consider that” is a seemingly harmless statement that signifies acceptance and thoughtfulness.
However, don’t be too quick to celebrate what appears to be an open mind. Someone might use this phrase as a convenient escape hatch without genuinely trying to follow through.
After all, words are easy, but following through takes a lot of effort.
I’ve heard the phrase from my former bosses and managers when I approached them with a well-thought-out proposal, some of my friends when I sought their advice and support, and even from my ex-boyfriend when sharing my aspirations and dreams. Ouch.
Let’s move on to another zinger.
2) I am here for you anytime
“I am here for you at any time.” Those friendly and supportive little words can mean a lot to us in times of trouble.
But what happens when you’re trying to reach a heart-to-heart conversation or seek real help? Then they constantly make excuses, become unavailable, or show little interest in actively supporting you.
And I’m not talking about my hat here, this has happened to me on several occasions. That’s why, whenever I hear that phrase, I know what’s going on, unfortunately.
If you feel unsure about relying on the person making the offer, it is best to seek out trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide the support you need.
There is another loaded phrase that excites me as soon as I hear it.
3) I’m sorry you feel this way
“I’m sorry you feel this way” is a phrase often used in an attempt to express sympathy or remorse, but upon closer inspection it falls apart, and its true meaning is often underwhelming.
If you have ever encountered this expression, I am sure you know its true meaning. This seemingly apologetic statement carries a subtle implication of blaming you.
You are responsible for what happened or what you just said. Although friends and family can use this phrase, I’ve mostly encountered it in a professional setting.
It’s lawyer talk because we’re guilty, but we’re not going to admit it. Instead of honestly addressing your concerns or taking accountability for their actions, they ignore your feelings and imply that the problem is only in your perception, thereby invalidating the validity of your fears.
My favorite counter to this is, “I think it’s important for us to have an open conversation about this. Can we discuss our different points of view and work to find common ground?”
4) I do not want to impose, but …
This next phrase is what you should be looking for. When someone starts a conversation with “I don’t want to impose, but…”, they are trying to soften the impact of the upcoming statement.
Here are some powerful examples:
“I don’t want to impose, but I think it would be best if you stopped seeing your friends so often.”
“I don’t want to impose, but could you lend me some money?”
“I don’t want to impose, but do you think you can cover my shift this weekend?”
“I don’t want to impose, but I heard you’re good at graphic design. Can you create a logo for my new business?”
“I don’t want to impose, but I need to borrow your car for the weekend.”
You get the point. show yourself!
When I can’t or won’t do the thing they’re skating for, I like to respond in style:
“While I cannot help you at this time, have you tried asking [name of another person or resource] who might be able to help you?”
5) I appreciate your input
This is another phrase that appears commonly in professional settings. It might come from your boss, or even worse, your co-worker.
“I appreciate your input” is translated as “thanks, but no thanks”. It is used to mask disagreement, reject alternative points of view, or maintain the status quo while avoiding true participation or consideration.
However, the phrase is not limited to the office setting. If you hear that your friend or family member is using it, it means that they will continue to make decisions that completely ignore your advice.
Here’s how I’ll respond:
“Thank you for appreciating my input. I’d love to hear more about how my ideas align or differ from your own on this matter.”
“I’m glad my opinion is valued. Can we discuss how we can incorporate these ideas into the project going forward?”
“I appreciate you appreciating my thoughts. Let me explain why I think this approach could be beneficial based on…”
“I respect your judgment, and I’m curious to hear what other people think too. How do you feel about that idea?” (If you want to stir pot and put others on the spot).
6) Let’s agree to disagree
Let’s agree to disagree can be a healthy way to deal with differences, but it can also be used to dismiss your point of view without real consideration.
I’m not particularly fond of this phrase, having either seen it online or heard it in person a few times.
I think it limits open communication and is used as a way to hide the problem and avoid discussing it further. Basically, the phrase is used to close the conversation and maintain a deadlock.
When someone says, “Let’s agree to disagree,” you need to keep in mind the context and intentions behind the statement. Sometimes the person using it comes from a real place, and it’s not worth it to pursue your point indefinitely. There will be no winners in this.
However, if you want to confront him, avoid personal attacks or disparaging remarks. Focus on the issues at hand rather than resorting to divisive language.
Now coming to two of my “favorite” notes. Fasten seat belts!
7) You are a great person
If someone tells you:
“You’re a wonderful person” and “I’ve always admired you…”
This usually means that they really value you and value your qualities. However, it could also mean that they want to manipulate you.
The person saying it can use it to gain favor, influence, or exploit your vulnerability.
Especially if she is of the opposite sex.
Other times, someone might use it as a general, surface-level courtesy without any specific context or real respect.
Whatever the reason, I reply: “Thank you for your kind words. I am grateful for your support, and I always strive to be the best version of myself.”
We are left with two more statements.
8) I am really happy for you
The phrase “I am really happy for you” is tricky. However, you can usually immediately tell where it came from depending on who is saying it.
They can use the phrase with a subtle layer of envy or jealousy. The person saying this may not be genuinely happy for you but is simply saying it out of social convention or to hide their negative feelings.
In such cases, the words may lack originality and are used to falsify sincerity.
And finally…
9) I didn’t mean it that way
We usually hear “I didn’t mean it like that” after something hurtful has been said, and the person saying it is trying to take back their previous words.
On the flip side, some people use this phrase as a defensive or dismissive tactic to avoid taking responsibility and minimize the impact of their words.
If this statement becomes a recurring problem, it may be necessary to set clear boundaries and expectations for respectful communication in the future.
