Narcissists are adept at evading responsibility and shifting blame onto others.
This is due to their profound avoidance of accountability. Narcissists often use clever language to avoid blame and shift the blame onto others.
If you’re smart, you’ll recognize the phrases they typically use to do this.
Below, I’ll share nine classic phrases that narcissists use to evade accountability and shift the blame onto others.
1) It’s Not My Fault…
When things go wrong, the last thing narcissists want is to take responsibility. They have an uncanny ability to avoid responsibility and turn things around in an instant.
Enter the phrase “It’s Not My Fault…”
This phrase is their favorite defense mechanism. It allows them to evade blame and shift it onto someone or something else. The goal is to absolve themselves of any wrongdoing and maintain their flawless self-image.
The bottom line is that they often use this phrase regardless of their actual involvement in the incident. It’s a classic move to evade accountability and take the focus away from their actions.
2) You’re Overreacting…
We’ve all been there – trying to discuss an issue, only to be dismissed as “too sensitive” or “overreacting.”
In my own experience, I remember a time when a narcissistic friend was always late. I decided to address it. I explained how disrespected she was making me feel and asked if she could try to be more punctual.
Her response? “You’re overreacting. Everyone’s late sometimes.”
This statement was her way of avoiding accountability for her constant lateness. Instead of acknowledging the problem and making an effort to change, she tried to shift the blame onto me for overreacting.
3) I Never Said That…
Emotional manipulation is a manipulative technique that narcissists use to control others by making them question reality. One of the key phrases often used in emotional manipulation is “I never said that…”
This statement is designed to make you doubt your memory and perception. The narcissist denies saying something that you clearly remember, creating confusion and self-doubt.
Here’s something you may not know: The term “emotional manipulation” originated from the 1938 play (and later movie) “Gas Light,” in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s crazy by turning down the gaslights and then denying the light has changed when his wife points it out.
4) It’s Your Interpretation…
Narcissists have a special way of twisting their words so that anything negative can be easily dismissed.
When they say something hurtful or problematic, and you blame them for it, their defense often comes in the form of “It’s Your Interpretation…”
This statement effectively shifts the blame from what they said or did to your perception of it. It’s a subtle way of saying that the problem isn’t their behavior but your perception or sensitivity.
5) You’re Always Finding Fault…
When narcissists are criticized or confronted about their actions, they often resort to the phrase “You’re always finding fault…”
This statement is a classic diversionary tactic. Instead of addressing their behavior and taking responsibility for their actions, they flip the tables and make you the problem.
It’s not about you being overly critical; it’s about them avoiding accountability. They use this phrase to play the victim and escape blame, all while making you feel guilty to draw attention to their misconduct.
6) I Did It for You…
One of the most subtle ways narcissists avoid accountability is by claiming that their actions were actually for your benefit.
RELATED:9 things a high-level manipulator will do when you call them out
They’ll say things like, “I did it for you…,” turning their mistakes into selfless acts. It’s a manipulation tactic designed to make you wonder if their actions were wrong.
The truth is, it’s just another way for them to avoid responsibility. By framing their actions as for your sake, they’re not only avoiding blame, they’re also positioning themselves as the “good guy.”
7) No One Is Perfect…
We all make mistakes, and no one is indeed perfect. However, when a narcissist says, “No one is perfect…,” they’re not acknowledging their flaws, but rather using the phrase as a shield against criticism.
I remember a time when I had a coworker who frequently missed deadlines. When I confronted him about it, he would simply shrug and say, “Well, no one is perfect.”
This wasn’t an admission of his flaws or an attempt to improve. Instead, it was a way of dismissing his constant failure to meet deadlines as something everyone does, normalizing his behavior and refusing to take responsibility for it.
8) You’re too sensitive…
This phrase is a favorite among narcissists because it’s a clear attempt to undermine your feelings and experiences.
When you express hurt or disappointment about the narcissist’s actions, their response is often, “You’re too sensitive…”
By saying this, they’re effectively shifting the blame onto you. They’re suggesting that the problem isn’t their behavior, but your reaction to it. They make you feel like you’re overreacting or being overly emotional.
9) I was just kidding…
This is probably one of the most insidious phrases narcissists use. They say or do something hurtful, and when confronted, they hide behind a veil of humor, saying, “I was just kidding…”
It’s a cunning way to strike and then back off, making you wonder if you’re just being overly sensitive or lacking a sense of humor.
The truth is, this is their way of avoiding accountability for their hurtful words or actions. It’s important to recognize this for what it is—a manipulative tactic to shift blame and evade responsibility.
Final Thoughts: It’s All About Awareness
When it comes to dealing with narcissists, recognizing the phrases they use to evade accountability and shift blame is a crucial first step in dealing with them effectively.
This may explain why they avoid accountability—to protect their inflated self-esteem from potential harm.
Awareness is key. It provides us with the ability to better handle these situations, defend ourselves, and maintain our mental health in the face of such manipulative behavior.
