Everyone can spot an overt narcissist. Big, loud, dramatic, and openly egomaniacal. Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are a more devious breed. These individuals operate in the shadows, using subtle methods to manipulate and control those around them. I’ll delve into the strange world of people with this disorder and reveal eight strange things narcissists do in secret.

Martyr Complex

The defining characteristic of covert narcissists is their tendency to live their lives with a martyr complex. They thrive on playing the victim, portraying themselves as pathetic, long-suffering individuals who endure enormous hardship. Why? This behavior allows them to gain sympathy and attention from others, which enhances their perceived importance. Covert narcissists will always position themselves as the underdog, ensuring that their needs and desires take priority.

Silent sabotage

Unlike overt narcissists, who often openly undermine others, covert narcissists engage in a form of silent sabotage. They may subtly undermine their peers, colleagues, and family members (no one escapes their wrath), all while maintaining a facade of innocence. This covert aggression can take various forms, from spreading rumors through smear campaigns to strategically withholding important information.

The victim is often left struggling with self-doubt and confusion, unaware of the malicious manipulation taking place. Is someone suddenly with you? They may have been told terrible, untrue things about you by the covert narcissist.

Creepy body language

All narcissists have atypical body language, but concealment is especially strange in this department. In my experience, people with vulnerable narcissism tend to resemble young children in their body language. Like young children, they do not typically swing their arms, resulting in a strange, stiff appearance when observed in a fully developed adult. Why would this be an issue? Narcissists are emotionally disabled. Their average emotional age is that of young children. We can therefore assume that the covert narcissistic body language reflects the age at which the false self has taken over, and the true self has ceased to develop.

If you have ever lived with a covert narcissist, you may have also noticed how they can move from different parts of the house very quickly and quietly. I’ve sometimes wondered, do these people teleport? The most likely answer is that they move deliberately, making as little noise as possible so they can eavesdrop or catch you off guard. This behavior is one of the strange things that covert narcissists do.

He walks behind you

A quick look at any narcissistic abuse support group or forum will tell you that narcissists don’t tend to go along with you, especially if you’re a romantic partner. The pattern seems to be that overt narcissists walk very quickly and always forward, while narcissists tend to go at a snail’s pace, dragging behind like a grouchy child. but why?

Walking behind you is another way for covert narcissists to position themselves as a pathetic victim. They often blame others for “walking too fast” and manipulate you into feeling guilty. The desired result? The narcissist eventually ends up in a position of power, controlling others through emotion.

Selective empathy

While overt narcissists may make it clear to everyone that they lack empathy, covert narcissists selectively use this emotional tool to their advantage. Through their humble “nice guy” façade, they show compassion when it serves their interests or helps them maintain a positive image. However, this sympathy is not real; It is a calculated move designed to manipulate others into seeing them as sympathetic and caring. Behind the mask, their true lack of concern for others becomes evident either through their actions or inaction.

Related : 7 little-known psychological tricks to disarm a narcissist

Maybe you are not feeling well in the hospital. You were expecting your partner to visit you, right? Not if your partner is a covert narcissist. They may send some messages with hollow, generalized sympathetic words, but it means nothing in the end. You’re left feeling lonely and unloved and wondering how someone who seems so nice could be so cold.

Chameleon effect

Then, in the strange things that covert narcissists do, we have their ever-changing personalities. Covert narcissists have an uncanny ability to adapt to different social situations by transforming into what they believe others want them to be. This chameleon-like behavior allows them to blend seamlessly into different environments and social circles, making it difficult for those around them to discover their true nature. You may start to wonder, who is this person?

This adaptability serves the selfish needs of covert narcissists because it reflects the values ​​and preferences of those they seek to manipulate. By lulling others into a false sense of security, the narcissist gains control.

Mastering gaslighting

No article on the strange things covert narcissists do would be complete without this mention. Gaslighting is a classic tactic used by all types of narcissists to undermine the victim’s sense of reality and self-worth. They use subtle manipulation to make their targets question their view of reality, memories, and reason.

This highly insidious tactic allows the covert narcissist to maintain control over his victims by sowing seeds of doubt and confusion. Many people who experience narcissistic abuse begin to worry, Am I going crazy? Over time, the victim of gaslighting may find it increasingly difficult to trust his or her view of situations.

Triangulation techniques

Finally, in the strange things that covert narcissists do, comes triangulation. They may subtly pit friends, family members, or colleagues against each other, fostering an environment of rivalry that serves their manipulative agenda.

Do you feel that your narcissistic father prefers your brother over you? A covert narcissist may find subtle ways to ensure your self-worth is eroded, causing your relationships with others to break down even further. By strategically controlling information and perceptions, the covert narcissist ensures that they remain the central figure in the web of relationships, enjoying the attention and admiration generated by the discord they have sown. Remember, getting attention because others are hurt and angry by your behavior is better than not caring, the narcissist believes.

Strange things secret narcissists do

Understanding the insidious and often puzzling behavior of covert narcissists is crucial to protecting yourself as best you can against their manipulative ways. Operating in the shadows, these individuals rarely shed their “nice guy” mask, leaving behind a trail of confusion and emotional turmoil.

By highlighting the strange things that covert narcissists do, we empower ourselves to recognize these toxic behaviors and break free from their hidden and powerful grip. Once you see a vulnerable narcissist for who they truly are, there is no going back.