Are you tired of being treated like something the narcissist is putting you through?
You’re not alone.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse reach a point where they’ve reached their limit, and they no longer want to keep the narcissist safe by sacrificing themselves.
If you want to take that decisive and empowering step, I urge you to consider these 8 ways you’re ruining their lives without even trying.
It’s not that you want to be intentionally cruel—you just don’t want to risk your life for them anymore.
I get it.
This Sounds Unproductive…
For you, there will be a constant contradictory internal message, “But surely ruining the narcissist’s life will make me as bad as the narcissist?!”
That’s a fair thought, and I’ll come back with a big “but”…
…But… think about what they’ve put you through. You entered this friend/relationship as an honest person, and they entered your life as a liar, a cheat, and a toxic person.
Related : 11 Ways Narcissists Slowly Convince You To Hate Yourself
They’ve been trying to ruin your life this whole time, so with these 8 ways to do the same thing – you can get a piece of yourself back.
I say it’s worth it.
Ruin a Narcissist’s Life with Little Effort
1 Be Happy
If I could pick one of these 8 ways to ensure you do it, it would be this one.
Your happiness is their pain. They’re only happy when they’re in charge, and they’re successfully making you miserable.
Now I know that happiness takes a lot of effort. It’s about rising above all the abuse that’s thrown at you, and that won’t be easy.
Happiness can come from continuing to consciously believe in yourself and fighting for your identity every day.
The moment you lose that, you’ll struggle.
2 Respond – When It Suits You
Leave Them Hanging? Okay!
One of the worst ways you can give yourself completely away to a narcissist at your expense is to give everything up for them.
Respond when you can, but don’t let the world stop just because you get a text or a call.
Related : The Hard Truth: Why You Stay in an Abusive Relationship
Ideally, you want to be in a place where you can talk when it suits you, not them. If that means they have to wait, you’ll ruin their day for sure!
3 Say No – and Stick to It
Don’t be influenced or pressured into saying yes when you don’t actually want to do the thing you’re saying yes to.
If you don’t want to, say no. This shouldn’t be up for debate – no is a complete sentence, after all. The way you get used to saying yes makes the narcissist used to always getting what they want.
Show them that you can make informed choices – which drives them crazy!
4 Cut them off
When the worst is presented to you, the drastic measures should be taken.
People cut ties with narcissists in their lives every day, but always for good reason.
You want to start fresh, you want the abuse to stop, you don’t want to have to see or talk to them again, and your life will be back if they leave.
So, the choice is to cut ties with them.
Related : 16 Lines Straight out of the Narcissist Playbook
This will drive them crazy and completely destroy their lives because they have become accustomed to a certain dynamic and have worked so hard to maintain it.
Hard, isn’t it?!
5 Refuse to Believe Them
We know they are lying, and often times we continue to do so either to keep the peace, or to give in to their delusions.
Now is the time to start destroying their lives by refusing to believe a word they say.
The moment you start doing this, you can start to feel addicted and want to do it even more!
Stop believing the good and the bad – because their excuse for being home late is just as much a lie as when they tell you they love you.
6 Sacrifice for Your Sanity
One of my former clients, whom I will call Anna Bell, broke up with her narcissistic father several years ago.
As punishment for this “horrible act”, her older brother (the golden child) told her that she was banned from seeing his son (her nephew) – and I quote – “to see how she feels”.
This was a move to get back at Anna Bell, a bullying tactic driven by her anger that she could do such a thing to her father.
Anna Bell was brave in her choice, which was not easy for her. She did not back down or apologize for her decision, and she had not seen her nephew in over 5 years.
Was it a sacrifice? Yes. Did it upset her? Absolutely.
But there was no way she would accept using a child as a weapon in her toxic family dynamics. If anything, it added weight to why she did it in the first place.
She believes her brother is secretly jealous that she had the courage to do something he could never do, and that it made her feel good about it.
7 Expose them
To their faces!
You are a real narcissist, did you know that?
Watch the color either drain from their faces in pure shock, or fill them with rage!
Telling the narcissist that they are as toxic as they are will change everything. What will they do now? Who will he offend? How will he get his supplies?
8 Tell people who they really are
This is a tough one, because I’m sure it’s not a good thing to do, but if you’re at the end of your rope and you want to feel like your truth is going to help discredit them – that’s a way to ruin their life.
This is because statistically, there will be a number of people who believe you.
On the other hand, there will be people who will believe you, too. So, you have nothing to lose.
All you need is one person who is truly on your side to validate your feelings.
Related : 10 Things Narcissism is, and What it’s Not!
When I talk to former victims of narcissistic abuse, some tell me that they’ve seen people stop them on the street and say how much they hate the narcissist in question.
It can be one of the most humbling experiences, and you know for sure that you weren’t imagining any of the abuse.
You have to be careful not to talk about things that aren’t true. As long as you stick to the facts, you can let others form their own opinions about what they hear.
What a way to ruin a narcissist’s life, and hey, you didn’t even try!
