Falling in love can be a bit of a mystery, right?
You’ve suddenly got this person who means everything to you, but how do you know it’s real love and not just infatuation or even lust?
I mean, sure, you feel nervous when they text you. You’re constantly thinking about them and probably daydreaming about your future together.
But is it real love? Or is it just really intense infatuation?
That’s where psychology comes in. It turns out that there are a bunch of ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real love — and no, it doesn’t involve picking flower petals or throwing salt over your shoulder.
Here are 8 ways to tell if you’re really in love with someone, all backed by psychology.
1) Emotional Connection Trumps Everything
We all know that attraction has its different layers, right? There’s the intellectual, the emotional, and the physical.
But when you’re truly in love, it’s the emotional connection that takes center stage. Sure, physical attraction is great and all. And yes, intellectual compatibility is pretty important, too.
But it’s that deep emotional connection that truly sets love apart from anything else. It’s when you can share your deepest fears, dreams, and insecurities with someone and know that they’ll always be there for you.
When you’re in love, there’s that inexplicable feeling that you’re understood on a level that’s beyond words. It’s like they truly understand you in a way that no one else does.
According to psychology, that deep emotional connection is one of the key indicators of true love. If you have that with someone, well, you’re probably truly in love.
2) Their happiness is your happiness
This may sound a bit cliché, but when you’re truly in love with someone, their happiness becomes your happiness. You find joy in their joy, and you feel their accomplishments as your own.
Let me give you an example. When I was in love, my partner was on a very difficult career path. There were late nights, early mornings, and endless stress. But when he finally got the job he’d worked so hard for, I felt this immense sense of joy and pride. It wasn’t my accomplishment, but I felt like it was.
I wasn’t just happy for him. I was happy with him.
This shared joy is another powerful sign of true love according to psychology. When you’re truly in love, your partner’s happiness isn’t just a pleasant side effect—it becomes the primary goal.
3) Love Means Letting Go of Fear
There’s a quote from the legendary John Lennon that always resonates with me, “There are two primary motivational forces: fear and love. When we’re afraid, we withdraw from life. When we’re in love, we open ourselves up to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.”
This is so true when it comes to true love.
When we’re in love, we’re not afraid to be ourselves. We’re not afraid to show our flaws or the flaws of others. We don’t hesitate to share our dreams or fears. We let go of the fear of rejection or judgment because we know we’re loved for who we are.
Psychology backs this up too. It tells us that the key sign of true love is when you’re able to be your true self with someone without any fear.
So, if you have someone you can be yourself with without apology, well, that’s a strong sign of true love.
4) You’re in a long-term relationship
Did you know that one of the main indicators of true love, according to psychology, is a commitment to a future together?
When you truly love someone, you see them not just in your present, but in your future. You make plans together, not just for the weekend or next month’s vacation, but for years to come.
You might find yourself imagining what it would be like to grow old together or thinking about where you might live together in ten years.
This isn’t just daydreaming or wishful thinking. It’s a sign that you see this person as an integral part of your future life, and that’s one of the hallmarks of true love.
5) Empathy Comes Naturally
When you truly love someone, empathy isn’t something you have to work hard for. It comes naturally.
You feel their pain when they’re hurt, and their disappointment when things don’t go as planned. You genuinely care about their feelings and well-being, and you’re always there to offer comfort, support, or listening when they need it.
Psychology tells us that this kind of empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings—is a clear sign of true love.
If you find yourself deeply affected by your partner’s feelings, that’s not just pity or sympathy. That’s love.
6) You’re Their Biggest Cheerleader
When you truly love someone, it’s like becoming their cheerleader. You’re always there to support, encourage, and help them achieve their goals.
Whether it’s a small victory like hitting a personal best in the gym or a big accomplishment like landing your dream job or finishing a marathon, you’re there to celebrate alongside them. You feel proud of their accomplishments, and you want to do everything you can to help them succeed.
It’s not about being codependent or losing yourself in the relationship. It’s about wanting to see your partner happy and fulfilled and doing your part to help make that happen.
According to psychology, this kind of supportive behavior is a clear sign of true love. If you’re always looking for ways to lift them and help them shine, you’re probably truly in love.
7) You’re Willing to Make Sacrifices
True love isn’t just about the good times. It’s also about being there for each other during the hard times and being willing to make sacrifices for each other.
Maybe that means giving up something you want so your partner can have what they need. Or maybe it’s about giving up something important because it means a lot to them.
It’s not about losing yourself or always putting their needs above your own. It’s about finding balance and being willing to give a little—or sometimes a lot—for the sake of your relationship.
Psychology tells us that this willingness to sacrifice is the hallmark of true love. If you’re willing to sacrifice for your partner’s happiness, that’s a clear sign that you’re truly in love.
8) Love is a choice, every day
Let’s be real here. Love isn’t just about the butterflies in your stomach or the fireworks you feel when you kiss. It’s about the choices you make, every single day.
Being truly in love means choosing to love your partner, even when it’s hard or when things aren’t going smoothly. It means choosing to stay and work things out, even when walking away seems like the easier option.
It’s about choosing them, over and over again, every single day, because, to you, they’re worth it.
According to psychology, this consistent choice to stay and love is perhaps the strongest indicator of true love. If you find yourself making this choice every day, there’s no doubt about it—you’re truly in love.
Final Thoughts
Finding true love can be a complicated journey. But if you find yourself agreeing with these points, you’re likely experiencing true love.
It’s important to remember that love isn’t just about grand gestures or intense feelings. It’s about the daily choices, sacrifices, and deep understanding and connection you share with your partner.
If you have that, congratulations. According to psychology, you’re truly in love.
So take a moment to reflect on your feelings. Are they deep and transformative? Does it push you to grow and bring out the best in you? If yes, then cherish this beautiful journey you are on.
Because true love at its core is about growth, understanding, and an unshakable bond that stands the test of time.
