In a world that seems to reward self-promotion and manipulation, it is not always easy to spot manipulative, narcissistic individuals.
As a society, we’re throwing around the label nowadays while also making these Machiavellian characters to be the stuff of nightmares.
But what we don’t do is talk enough about how to spot them in their tracks.
Because you will undoubtedly encounter less than nice people…
But how do you know exactly when you’re dealing with a narcissist an actual manipulator, or just a bad business?
If you’re interested in honing your narcissist detection skills, commit as we delve into the 8 Warning Signs You’re dealing with:
1) they always bring the conversation back to themselves
A clear warning sign that you are dealing with a manipulator or narcissist is their constant need to direct conversations to themselves.
Let’s say you’re talking about your day, venting about your feelings, or dwelling on your dreams from the night before…
Somehow, violently, they found a way to make it about them.
This behavior can make you feel unheard and not very important, as they always seem to change the lights to themselves. Even when I needed support and heard only once.
Often, they skillfully use this tactic, so it is not immediately noticeable. It may seem that they are too excited to share their experiences or opinions, and who can hate that…
Because of this subtlety, you will feel bad trying to make yourself heard-even if you can use someone who listens to you.
However, as this pattern repeats over time, you realize that your conversations are rarely about you.
It’s always about them, them, them.
This self-centeredness is a very classic feature of narcissists and manipulators-they prioritize their own needs and narratives and have little time for anyone else’s problems.
2) they are masters at stumbling with guilt
Another red flag when dealing with a manipulator or narcissist is their skill at making you feel guilty – even when you’re not at fault.
They have an uncanny ability to twist situations in such a way as to make you feel like the bad guy.
Even when you stand on the ground, they will find a way to rotate and distort it as if you were unreasonable or unkind.
They turned up an hour late for a show I bought tickets for. Your mistake. I forgot to remind them.
Have they forgotten your birthday? Your fault for being so mean lately- they were just testing you.
Are they cheating on you? Your fault again for not losing that holiday weight.
In such situations, it is important to remember that you are not mistaken in expressing your feelings or setting limits.
Don’t let malicious guilt-tripping attempts convince you otherwise.
3) they never take responsibility
A glaring indicator that you are dealing with a manipulator or a narcissist is their refusal to accept responsibility for their actions.
They are absolute experts at blaming others, often making you feel it’s your fault even when it’s not obvious.
Continuing from the point above, they will be as smooth as butter in blaming their traffic delays, blaming the missed deadline on a colleague, and somehow blaming their bad behavior on your shoulders.
It is their way of protecting their ego and maintaining their superior image, even if this happens at the expense of someone else’s self-esteem.
4) she is very charming
Now, you’re hardly letting a stranger treat you so badly, can you?
Hence why narcissists start so adoring and charming to win you over and you do their bidding.
But don’t be fooled by the initial charm offensive.
Sure, they may shower you with compliments, attention, and affection, making you feel special and valued and on top of the world.
They may reflect your interests (and suddenly pretend to be very interested in butterflies or sourdough starters, if this is your cup of tea) to create a feeling of connection and intimacy.
RELATED:7 signs you’re dealing with a toxic person, according to psychology
This nasty tactic, often referred to as ‘love bombing’, is designed to win you over and build trust quickly. It’s a manipulation strategy used to secure loyalty and admiration before their true colors start to emerge.
However, over time, the charm and shine fade and are replaced by manipulative and self-centered behaviors that are characteristic of narcissistic individuals.
Unfortunately by that time, you are often so entangled in their network that it becomes difficult to see them for what they are.
5) they don’t care about your feelings
The unfortunate truth is that even though they may have led you to believe otherwise, manipulators and narcissists simply don’t care about your feelings.
You may find yourself pouring out your heart to them, only to be met with indifference, dismissal, or even ridicule.
Your problems are underestimated, your achievements are overshadowed by theirs, and your feelings are often ignored.
It’s not that they can’t understand your feelings – they just choose not to.
Empathizing with you means getting out of the self-absorbed bubble and admitting that someone else’s feelings are important- something that goes against his narcissistic nature.
6) they take advantage of your kindness
If you are a kind person with a heart of gold, it is important to realize that manipulators and narcissists have a knack for taking advantage of your good nature.
You are often the person they turn to when they need something because they know you will do your best to help.
Your kind actions are perceived as opportunities for exploitation, not goodwill gestures.
They will call you, ask for favors, lean on you for emotional support, or even use your sympathy to manipulate you into feeling guilty or indebted to them.
They take and take and take, but they rarely give anything in return.
But remind yourself-your kindness is a strength, not a weakness.
To protect him, set limits and protect yourself from those who take advantage of your benefit.
7) they make you feel worthless
Narcissists and manipulators have a wonderful talent for subtly belittling you in ways that you almost don’t notice, making unfavorable comparisons, or pointing out your flaws.
If you try to defend yourself, you will be told that you are too sensitive. It was just a joke. Take a cold pill. God, you’re so nervous.
The result?
You constantly second-guess yourself, doubt your worth, and feel that you need to make a greater effort to rise.
But remember, no one has the right to make you feel less than.
You are more than enough, just as you are.
8) they’re never content
Bending back and people-please everything you want, it will not be enough.
They always want more than that. More attention, more praise, more sacrifices from you.
It will make you feel like you’re falling short like you’re not meeting their needs or expectations, like you’re not good enough and need to try harder.
This is a manipulation tactic designed to keep you in a constant state of trying harder, giving more, and striving to please them.
But the truth is, it’s not about you. It’s about their endless need for validation and control.
You can move mountains for them, and it’s still not enough.
Wrap it up
Navigating relationships with manipulators and narcissists can be a difficult journey. They may feel undervalued, used, or even lost in their world of self-centeredness and control.
But remember that none of this is a reflection of your worth. Their actions and behaviors are a manifestation of their insecurity and helplessness, not their shortcomings.
Being aware of these warning signs is the first step towards protecting yourself. It won’t always be easy, but it’s an important part of affirming your worth and setting healthy boundaries.
So if you are dealing with a manipulator or a narcissist, don’t despair. You are much stronger, wiser, and more resilient than you know.
And most importantly, you are not alone; there is a world of understanding and support out there for you.
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