Narcissists are everywhere, and they give you the impression that you can do anything with them.
That’s part of their initial appeal, isn’t it? They pretend to be perfect, when only time will reveal the stark truth.
Want to know things you won’t be able to do with them?
Well, you’ve come to the right place.
I feel like you’ll be familiar with them all.
1 Expect Empathy
The main thing you possess is the narcissist’s biggest flaw.
Beneath their false layers lies a person devoid of soul and compassion, and these are the core traits that make you.
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It’s no wonder you’re not compatible, but somehow, the victim needs the narcissist, and the narcissist needs the victim. This is the dynamic that forces the cycle of abusive relationships to begin.
Don’t expect an ounce of empathy from them; that will never change.
It’s time to realize that you’re only causing yourself suffering by trying to find empathy in the narcissist you know.
None of them have any empathy.
2 Set Boundaries Without Backlash
Everyone needs boundaries, but not everyone is fully capable of keeping them alive and strong. Narcissists will try to break them if given half a chance, and most won’t even understand they exist.
Remember—a rule for the narcissist, a rule for you.
You’re expected to abide by their boundaries, but they can do and say whatever they want to you.
There’s a backlash if you try to enforce your boundaries: anger. Narcissists will think (and perhaps say), “What do you think you’re doing?”
Do you see how it’s automatic for them to take advantage of you without consequence?
I advise you to maintain your boundaries, and if you don’t have them, create them. They’re a true test of who’s worthy of being in your life, and who’s just taking advantage of you.
Setting boundaries simply means that everything will fall into place!
3 Rely on consistency
Consistency is the only concept that keeps us all disciplined, isn’t it?
Yes, we want a nice person to love, but we need consistency.
We need to recognize that there’s a balance to their moods, and I appreciate that we all have tough days or tough times—but not to the point where anyone feels like they’re walking on eggshells.
Keeping promises is another important aspect of consistency.
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So show it to us!
Except you can’t, can you, narcissist?
It all depends on how you feel about acting that day, in that moment.
4 Be Totally Visible or Hearable
Hello?
Can you hear me?
Do you see what I did today?
No, no, and no.
Okay, that’s it.
Narcissists won’t see or do anything you show them, not because they aren’t watching, but because they choose not to be in your life. Not for that particular reason, anyway.
They’ll take your breath away while you’re trying to show up and offer something you’re proud of.
Or when you need a listening ear and support—don’t rely on them.
It’s also ironic, because it’s one of the primary bonds between two people that can add depth and value to a relationship, and of course, that’s the direction you want it to take.
They don’t.
They want everything to be on their terms, and if you tell them something important, it’s bound to go in one ear and out the other. Nothing uninteresting ever stays the same.
5 Grow Without Their Threat
It’s impossible to grow in a relationship with a narcissist without becoming a threat to them.
They control you more than most in the way they want to keep you small, so if you no longer fit that mold, they’ll have a problem with you—and with them.
When you’ve spent years with a narcissist, you may look back and think, “What happened during that time? Why didn’t I grow?”
That’s because they controlled the relationship, and therefore, they controlled you.
Getting out of this phase feels like entering a grieving process, which is something you have the right to acknowledge. Grief isn’t just for the dead—it’s for everything you’ve lost in life.
So—if you want to grow—you have to let go of the narcissist.
Do it today!
6 Have Honest Conversations
You just want to be able to talk to them. A normal, honest, and valuable conversation.
If that requires getting into details or showing some vulnerability, that’s okay.
Related : 6 Proofs You Have Made The Narcissist Suffer
The Narcissist?
Not exactly.
They hear you coming and want to run away. They don’t want to be part of anything honest because then you’ll get what you want and feel good about it.
More importantly, you build rapport and rely on each other for support.
No. Absolutely not.
You’ll never get that. The sooner you figure it out, the better.
7 Take Their Word
I mean, I hate to say this, but if you don’t already know, let it be a big lesson for you today.
A narcissist’s words are designed to deceive or trap you, nothing more, nothing less. The problem is, they’re very persuasive, aren’t they?
They say what you want to hear whenever you want to hear it, and the rest of the time, they’re caustic and cruel. So what do you do?
And, you know, it’s no good when they hear your words and trick you into believing you’re wrong.
And it’s ongoing, folks. It’s a really dangerous situation, because you’ll soon learn the truth.
You know the narcissist wants you so badly to believe what they’re saying, they may even insult or intimidate you to get there.
8 You Can’t Make Them Happy
Look, no matter how hard you try, you won’t make the narcissist happy. Not the way you want them to be, anyway.
I know that your concept of happiness is to love and be loved, to appreciate, to show respect and honesty, to support, to love, and to compromise in your relationship.
In that case, no. You will never make the narcissist happy.
They will only feel truly happy when you’re suffering. That’s why they burden you with all this: just to make themselves comfortable.
If I were you, I’d stop trying to find a solution in a situation where it’s impossible.
And last but not least, never assume that your inability to get them to love you the way you want is your fault.
There is no character deficiency. You are a truly amazing person, and you are capable of finding someone who will love you back in all the healthy, emotionally fulfilling ways you could ever dream of.
