When someone disrespects you, it can mean many things. They can lie to you, belittle you, or even call you names. We should never tolerate this.
Disrespect comes in many forms. It varies and ranges from low-intensity (uncivilized) to high-intensity (somatic) behavior. So, when someone disrespects you, it means they are doing something that sends the message that you don’t matter.
No, what other people think is not always something you should worry about. But when it causes discomfort, it can also affect your mental health. Sometimes what others say or do affects your life.
What can you do when someone doesn’t respect you?
Disrespectful behavior can also lead to violence. So, it is important to understand how to deal with this problem. When someone mistreats you in this way, it often escalates when left unchecked. Here are some ways you can communicate with people who refuse to show you respect.
- Understand why
Let’s get this out of the way, shall we? Sometimes, the way a person behaves has nothing to do with you. So, before jumping to conclusions about inappropriate behavior, check to see if something else might have made this person angry or ignore you.
It could be external things that have nothing to do with how they treat you. No, it is not okay to be mean to anyone for any reason. However, sometimes disrespectful behavior is incidental. So, let’s check this off the list first.
- Organize your response
Also, don’t immediately attack the person who disrespected you. This does not always go your way, and can incite the violence I touched on earlier. When someone disrespects you, it’s smart to think about what they said or did, and then formulate an appropriate response.
Sometimes, the response is not the best, especially when dealing with narcissistic remarks. Just think about it before taking this step. Ask yourself this question:
“Is the response worth it?”
- Kill them with kindness
Yeah, I bet you don’t like this. But hey, I startled a lot of disrespectful people by being nice in return. If you stay calm, smile, and then say something nice in return, it will often surprise them. Their ability to continue behaving rudely is sometimes thwarted.
You can even ask them this question:
“Are you feeling okay today? Looks like you’re dealing with something.”
But be careful, in rare cases, this situation may make them feel like you are making fun of them. It is important to recognize the reactions of a disrespectful person.
- Confrontation
Be very careful with this one. If you are sure that the person who disrespects you will not become violent, you can try to confront him about his behavior. However, do not try this in front of their friends because they may become defensive.
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When you have the opportunity to talk to them privately, ask them why they disrespect you. Not everyone will talk to you about this, so it’s just something you can try. Unfortunately, there are those who continue to be cruel instead of explaining why.
- Draw those boundaries
Sometimes, disrespect comes in the form of lies and manipulation. This is especially true in relationships. When someone disrespects you in this way, you must reassert your boundaries. Let them know that there will be consequences if they continue their negative behavior.
Most importantly, stand firm in the face of those consequences, otherwise they will continue to disrespect you in the future. Boundaries are healthy, and they help us maintain good mental health.
- Use “I” statements.
Often times, people don’t even know how their actions make you feel. To help them understand, use “I” statements like these:
“I feel offended by your statement” or “I feel like you take me for granted when you talk to me that way.”
Sometimes these statements make the other person introspect. They realize how bad they would feel if someone talked to them the same way.
- Say “thank you”
When someone disrespects you, they often compliment you with inappropriate words. So, instead of getting offended, just say “thank you.” Most of the time, only two answers will come from them. They will either assume you were not insulted, or they will tell you that they were insulting you.
Either way, they’ll either admit to what they’re doing, or they’ll stop talking and you can move on with whatever you’re doing. If you have healthy self-esteem, it will be easy for you to say “thank you.”
- Cut off contact with them
If someone is consistently disrespectful to you, you may have to cut off contact with them. When it comes to those with narcissistic personality disorder, their disrespect rarely stops. Here, cutting off contact or reducing the time you spend with them is the best option.
I always leave this option for last because I hate cutting ties with people, especially my loved ones. But sometimes, it’s necessary to stay sane.
Do not tolerate this behavior!
Disrespectful behavior is a sign that something deeper is going on, at least most of the time. But unless you are equipped to handle these things, you should give utmost importance to your physical and mental health.
If you are that person, and you don’t respect them, just put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you like to be treated this way?
Related : 5 Ways Impact Bias Is Making You Unhappy
I hope this helps you overcome more of those difficult situations in your life. I hope you deal appropriately when someone disrespects you.