You’ve longed for and waited for this moment. Now it’s here, your freedom awaits.
You’re breaking up with a narcissist.
What’s next? Well, they’ll say a lot (or not), but I believe it’s important to prepare for every scenario.
That is, prepare yourself for how you’ll respond—if you want to at all.
Let’s take a look at 8 things narcissists say when you break up with them.
Get Ready!
As appealing as breaking up with a narcissist may seem, nothing comes without its pitfalls.
This is especially true when saying goodbye to someone who’s been so toxic in your life.
You may have waited a long time to mutter the word “treason,” but as you say goodbye, say hello to some of the classic phrases they’ll say first.
1 “Don’t call me again”
This is the phrase the narcissist wants to scare you.
They want you to feel like you’ve crossed a line. You’ve made this decision, and it’s final.
Related : Narcissists Hate People With These 8 Traits
They say it makes you feel like you’ve overdone it. You’re being so brave. You’re saying something that will end it.
And after all this time, the narcissist has been sowing doubt and confusion in your mind, they’ll hope you’ll change your mind and ask them back, or ask for another chance.
This puts them in charge, and they warn you, “This is it.”
Very dramatic.
You’re absolutely right, this is it.
I won’t see you again, alligator.
2 “I never loved you, anyway”
The harshest and most direct form of punishment is to tell you right away that your breakup is no big deal.
Of course, this will hurt their pride, ego, and self-esteem. It will remind them how much they hate themselves deep down, but to hide the shock and pain, they’ll pretend not to care.
Don’t exaggerate the pain of loving someone they can’t have right now. It’s not.
This is about tarnishing their image and causing a small problem with their own thoughts.
And of course, let’s be completely honest here. This is about hurting you. Because they’ve always done that since they met you.
At least now, they can be more open about it because they have this excuse.
You’ve broken up with them, and now they can say or do whatever they want.
3 “I’ll hurt myself if you leave”
It hurts to hear a threat like this directed at you when you’re trying to do the right thing.
You want it to end, you’ve had enough, and you’re being emotionally blackmailed by the narcissist to stay.
This is the reality, and it’s a threat so severe that it makes the victim feel like they can’t take the risk.
So you agree to stay and try again.
Related : Why I Couldn’t Tell The Difference Between Love and Narcissistic Abuse
I know it’s a big deal, but this is the information you should share with a mutual friend.
Sharing is caring, and remember that what others may or may not do is not your fault or responsibility.
4 “Good luck finding someone else who loves you.”
It’s actually quite easy, if you give it time.
Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, including you. And love will find you. Don’t believe a word a narcissist says when they tell you it won’t work out.
They don’t know anything; they’re just pretending.
You may have entered this relationship feeling secure and hopeful, but everything changed over time.
I urge you to consider how dating a narcissist and losing your self-esteem are connected.
This is precisely why you shouldn’t have any problems meeting someone new in the future.
5 “I won’t miss you.”
That’s okay. They only say that because they’re already thinking what you think about them.
You’re the one who won’t miss them.
A narcissist wants to hurt you when they say this, just as they always want to hurt you.
If you leave them, they’ll dig through their pockets for insults that will stick in their minds, designed to make you feel bad about yourself one last time before you leave.
This is also threatening, because if that attachment exists, you won’t like hearing that you won’t be missed.
You should have left them anyway.
6 “You’ve already met someone else”
Well, that’s a good thing, right? It means the narcissist is off your back, and you’re free to move on.
Okay, that may not be true, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take it at face value.
Related : You’ll Never Guess These Texting Tricks Narcissists Use to Control You
Even when you’re in the midst of breaking up with a narcissist, they still want a reaction from you. They want to see the pain on your face because they’ve found someone new to replace you.
If that’s true, great. If not, isn’t that a revelation?
I feel sorry for my new flame, don’t you?
They’re going to face everything you’ve endured during this time.
And if they’re lying (and they probably are), how deceitful they are because they didn’t handle the breakup like an adult.
7 “They’re just trying to break us up!”
A narcissist will do anything to assume that your best friend, or your mother, is the one trying to convince you to break up.
Don’t you think it’s funny that they’re trying to look at themselves anywhere but in the mirror?
Hey, narcissist, this breakup was your fault, and yours alone.
If it weren’t for your annoying behavior, we wouldn’t have a problem here.
They think that just because they can control you, everyone else can too.
Don’t interpret this as your decision.
8 Nothing: The Ghost
Oh my, the silence. There’s nothing worse than trying to explain away nothing, right?
Who said you have to do that?
Accept the narcissist’s silence for what it is.
That’s what they’re used to, remember?
They keep quiet when they want you to become paranoid, and they always succeed.
Convincing you to fall into the trap of believing you’ve done wrong makes you chase after what’s right.
But guess what? It’s not always true!
Related : Find Out How Narcissists Turn Every Phone Call Into a Power Play
You won’t win!
So, prolonged silence will have the same effect, only more powerful.
They want you to be chased and regret your decision to break up, but here you really have to pull yourself together.
As shocking as it is to go from everything to nothing, that’s what a breakup is all about.
If you’re doing this for yourself, you should consider silence as a signal to move on.
