Hearing someone talk about you will make you stop following their conversation.
What are they saying? Who is talking?
It’s nice to be nice – but not so much when you hear false allegations. Of course, you’ll only hear those from people who want to drag your name through the mud…
…Oh! Did someone ring the narcissist’s doorbell? Sorry. They’re not in there. They’re actually busy playing in that mud.
In your name.
Ex-lover.
Here’s what they’re saying about you.
Ex-lover – You?
If you’re reading this, there’s every chance you’re the ex I’m referring to. How did you find your breakup? Was it you who started it, or was it the narcissist?
You may have fallen victim to gossip behind your back once you left the narcissist’s building.
If so, you’re probably familiar with some of the points on the list!
You’ve escaped – sort of
Whenever a relationship with a narcissist ends, there’s always a sense of pure freedom.
Related : 11 Things Narcissists Do When They’re Home Alone
I agree. It’s liberating to no longer be emotionally, mentally, or physically attached to him. It’s over. Thank goodness.
Except – his word still has a part of you trapped. I hasten to add that this is only if you let him.
You can always choose to ignore the rumors the narcissist spreads about you. I know this isn’t easy, but it’s the only way to completely escape his control.
Refuse to be manipulated.
Prepare for the Lies to Continue
In any case, it’s always a good idea to be prepared for the lies to continue. You’re bound to hear at least one of the following nine points.
1 “I didn’t like them anyway”
When the new person or anyone willing to listen intently, and take every word as gospel – the narcissist will continue his plan to destroy you and turn you into a bad person.
This started with them not caring much about you. It will seem like there are no hard feelings, but the depth of your relationship will go unseen. Now, here are a few reasons why.
First, they hide how hurt they were when you found out and wanted out.
Instead of confiding in anyone about their feelings (which narcissists never do), they act like you don’t matter.
Related : 13 Weird Things Narcs Do When They’re Jealous
The second reason is that they want to be seen as the reasonable person. That’s who they are, and it’s in the past. What happened is done, and now you’re done, you can move on to bigger and better things.
2 “They always let me down”
This is where things can start to get darker and more sinister. If narcissists are talking about their exes, you can be sure that they’ll say that you’re the one who ruined the whole mood.
You caused this downward spiral in happiness. You’re the one who insisted on killing the relationship.
Well – if it wasn’t you, it would be them, right?!
You have to be the one who’s at fault. They deserved better than you. You didn’t give them the time or love they needed.
You’re to blame, and the more you convince them of this story, the worse off you’ll be.
It’s time to hate the player as much as you hate the game.
3 “They’re really abusive”
Don’t put anything above narcissists. They are always eager to crush your garlic, and they will do anything to do it.
Telling everyone that you were the abusive one in the relationship is called projection.
It takes something they did, and passes it on to the innocent as if it were a burden they weren’t willing to carry.
If you are known to be the bad guy, it not only frees the narcissist from blame, but also exempts them from future criticism.
As far as you are concerned, they are not abusive. That’s all you need to know.
(We know the truth!)
4 “They cheated on me”
As with most narcissists, they are happy to walk away from home and fully approve of the cheating (as long as they are the ones doing it).
If you dare to cheat on them, you will never hear the end of it. They will make your life a living hell.
This is exactly the game they play when they try to convince others that you have wronged them.
If you’re the cheater, it can’t be them.
5 “I could never do anything wrong”
All I want is to be happy.
All that matters is knowing that I’ve got a partner I love and trust.
I like knowing that I’m making a difference in my relationship.
Oh my god. I mean, a hundred points for acting…
…Narcissists take the moral high ground when it suits them, and they make themselves seem holier than thou.
Related : 13 Red Flag Behaviors When Narcissists Meet Your Friends
Let’s get one thing straight – they do everything wrong, and they make it seem like it’s your fault.
And that’s exactly what’s happening here.
6 “They just moved on slowly”
Oh, they never wanted to do anything or go anywhere.
I’m someone who loves to enjoy life and have adventures.
I felt restricted.
I started to feel like it was my fault, or that there was something wrong with me..
If you were a narcissist’s ex, you probably ended up not wanting to do anything because of a severe lack of confidence or self-esteem.
Who can blame you? This is how they create this version of you that they can control and throw their poison at.
You are not a lazy person. You are someone who doesn’t have to do anything in life to feel worthwhile – and that’s the difference.
7 “Good luck. They’ll need it without me”
You get all the luck in the world the second you leave an abusive relationship.
No, it’s not easy at first. There is work to be done to build yourself back up, to start finding your own way again.
Narcissists want others to know that you would be lost without them. They want to be seen as the boss in the relationship, the glue.
Related : 14 Toxic Ways Narcissists React To Your Weight Changes
They weren’t the glue. They were the mold.
8 “I never saw attraction with them”
Another outright lie – there was a clear attraction from the narcissist towards their victim.
This attraction was your supply – the way you provided them with exactly what they needed to succeed the way they did.
The attraction was the belief that the narcissist was inherently charming, when in reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
