So, you have a narcissist in a tight spot they know they won’t escape.
The argument is on, and you’re finding ways to overcome it.
Congratulations!
It’s also hilarious to watch them squirming at your reality, realizing there’s nothing they can do…
…or is there?
Never ignore a narcissist; that’s all I’m going to say here! If you want to prevail, read on.
Notice Them Writhing?
It’s fun to witness, isn’t it? Finally, you’ve caught them. You’ve mastered a way to empower yourself in an instant, and you’re not taking it lightly.
You might even witness an argument between two people, one of whom is a narcissist. Is it at work? Or at home?
Related : 5 Things Narcissists Do When They Make a Mistake
It’s interesting to watch the narcissist writhe around, unable to shake off the discomfort around them.
But pay close attention, because you’ll want to.
Annoy Them By Going To Win
I like to offer as sound advice as possible while remaining professional, but let’s be realistic for a moment.
If you’re going to go for it, you have to understand that you’re going to annoy them. You have to accept it gracefully and accept it anyway.
Let’s say you’re in the middle of an argument that the narcissist can’t seem to win.
What would you experience? What would you expect?
1 Break Your Boundaries
While your boundaries may be valuable to you, they’re worthless to a narcissist. In fact, narcissists see all boundaries people set as challenges.
Related : 4 Things Narcissists Do When You Finally Stand Up To Them
How can I break them?
I’m exempt from these boundaries.
I have the right to do what I want.
Your feelings don’t matter.
As long as I get what I want, everything will be fine.
How dare you reject me?!
The list goes on, but the fact remains…
…your boundaries don’t matter to them.
But it matters to you, doesn’t it? If it didn’t, you wouldn’t have put it in place.
So keep doing what feels right for you, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
You have to maintain your boundaries, even when the narcissist literally tries to break them.
This is your survival method.
2 Cry
And here come the crocodile tears.
The narcissist knows they’re a loser in this situation, and they want you to feel sorry for them. They want everyone present to feel the same way, too.
Related : 9 Things Narcissists Say To Avoid Any Blame (And Blame You Instead)
I’m sorry to say, this is a harsh outcome for winning, because you won’t feel like a winner at all.
In fact, all the joy and power you feel from having the upper hand will be taken away by the narcissist the moment their lower lip starts quivering.
They know what they’re doing, right. If you dismiss their tears as fake, you’ll come across as insensitive. If you indulge them, you’re giving them what they want.
You can’t win—and so they turn the win on them.
Crying like this is nothing but a cheap way to emerge victorious from a losing battle.
3 Guilt Is Coming
You feel bad, don’t you? No?
Well, you’re about to, because the guilt trip is coming, and it’s coming with a bang.
You always seem to know just what to say to really upset me.
I never thought you had the nerve to be so indifferent.
The only thing that drew me to you was knowing you were a nice person, and you’ve just proven to me that you’re not at all.
Instinctively, your shoulders slump, and you see this soft side of the narcissist you rarely see.
And there, in the middle of your chest.
Related : 12 Things The Narcissist Wants You To Believe That Are Not True
A pang of guilt.
The thought floats through your mind.
They’re right. I’m being irrational. Maybe I should give them a chance and go easy on them. Maybe they didn’t mean what they did, and I should listen to their reasons and back off.
Great ideas, but these are exactly what the narcissist wants you to hear.
4 Embarrass you? Sure!
If they could make you look foolish, they would.
Look at this guy! He’s losing his temper in front of all of you!
Do you see how stupid you look?
God, you look so ugly when you yell at me.
Listen, I’ll do anything to calm you down and make you stop what you’re doing.
If they insult you, so what?
If they embarrass you, fine.
5 Anger
If in doubt, yell.
That’s the motto every narcissist should have on their forehead so we can recognize them, right?
It would make life so much easier!
Related : Body Language Expert Reveals How To Disarm Any Narcissist
But they don’t. They blend in with us, us ordinary people, and they fool us a lot.
If you get them to a point where they’re clearly not winning an argument, they’ll unleash their anger on you like a rocket.
It’s distracting, but in the moment of anger, it sounds like they’re just trying to make you feel bad.
Make no mistake, it’s like that too. But their primary goal is to distract you from the core of the argument and turn it into their own anger.
6 Never Forgives You
The one time you argue, they’ll never forget. What a nerve you have to scream and yell like a little kid!
Now, fast-forward X number of times whenever they want to make you feel bad for daring to win an argument.
It’s like that time when…
Remember when…?
I’ll never forget the look on your face when…
And so it goes.
On and on.
7 Turn It Into an Attack: Poor me!
You’re really annoying me.
I feel like your tone is so harsh.
I don’t deserve this.
I’m a good person.
Oh, listen to them.
Why don’t you give them a tiny little violin to play while they do this?
8 Your name? Mud!
Of course!
If anyone mentions your name to a narcissist, they can completely destroy you in one sentence.
It’s usually not insulting, but it can be extremely hurtful, sexist, or even downright alarmist for you (I really hope they get help for what they’re going through).
This is how narcissists like to build their ego back up after you’ve destroyed it, and hey, if they can tear your name apart while they’re doing it, that’s extra narcissism points for them!
