For a narcissist, control is the name of the game.
This is especially true in romantic relationships, where they basically feel entitled to ownership of the other person.
Thus, they will not hesitate to pull all the tricks, no matter how dirty, to control their partner emotionally, mentally, and in extreme cases, physically.
In this article, I will walk you through the signature ways narcissists try to control their partners.
If you suspect you are dating a narcissist, I hope the contents of this article will provide you with clarity and inspiration to move on.
Let’s dig deeper!
1) They will put the spotlight on you
Here’s the thing: When you’re with a narcissist, you always have to be on your guard.
Show weakness and like a predator that smells blood, he will manipulate your feelings and use them to his advantage.
This is when the gaslight comes on.
Gaslighting occurs when a narcissist makes their partner question their memory, perception, and ultimately, their sanity.
They may completely deny having said or done something (even though they know very well that they did it).
Their tone is often so stubborn and persuasive, we end up second-guessing and questioning our full recollection of things.
This is a particularly effective strategy for a partner who is easily swayed, in which case extra precautions should be taken.
2) They love bombers
A narcissist can be more two-faced than a Batman villain (you know, that Harvey Dent guy).
For example, at the beginning of a relationship, it’s the picture of perfection.
You may feel like you’ve hit the proverbial jackpot.
They start things off by borderline smothering you with compliments, extra attention, gifts, romantic gestures, etc.
However, there will inevitably come a point when this boisterous behavior subsides, producing a deep sense of confusion and despair.
You will endlessly strive to regain your former affection, which makes you more vulnerable to his controlling ways.
3) They will try to depose you
Do you know what a cult leader and a narcissistic partner have in common?
Well, among other things, narcissists often try to separate their partners from family and friends, altering realities so that loved ones come across as toxic influences.
This is a subtle form of brainwashing – the ultimate goal is control.
Think about it: If you don’t have close friends or family present in your life, there will be minimal forces to convince you to break away from their control – perhaps their worst nightmare.
4) They will undervalue you
When the honeymoon period ends, the narcissist may gradually begin to insult his or her partner.
This disparagement often comes in the form of subtle quips about appearance or your general competence as a living, breathing human being.
they want to undermine your self-worth; Since you feel worthless, you won’t feel able to separate.
At this point, you have it exactly where they want you: in the palm of their hands.
This isn’t sustainable – eventually, you’ll have to muster up the strength and courage to make a move.
5) They will use triangulation
As a way of creating tension, insecurity, and general disharmony, the narcissist may bring a third person into the mix, such as an ex-partner or a new “friend.”
They don’t want you to feel too comfortable, because when you are secure in a relationship, you feel confident.
Independence and exclusivity are concepts that are like kryptonite for the narcissistic partner because they make control more difficult.
In my early twenties, I dated a girl from work.
I made it clear from the start that I wanted to take things one step at a time.
Although she agreed to the arrangement, she would often gossip about her ex–about how she missed him, his jokes, even his bedroom habits.
This of course upset me. It wasn’t exactly an ordinary letter, especially with a potential romantic partner.
Whatever her ultimate goal with these statements was, I’m still not entirely sure.
