Have you ever been stuck in a relationship where you were constantly on edge, questioning your judgment, or wondering if you were overreacting?

Doesn’t feel good, does it? But you’re not alone – I’ve been there myself. It took me a while to recognize the signs, but eventually I realized I was dealing with a manipulative partner.

Sure, a manipulative person is sneaky, but the good thing is that there are many things they do that should indicate to you their questionable intentions.

In this article, I’ll cover eight of these things. We hope they will help you spot red flags much easier. Let’s get started!

1) They highlight you
The first thing you should know about manipulative people is that they are experts at gaslighting. What is this, you say?

Gaslighting is a trick that manipulative people use to make you doubt your feelings, memories, and perceptions. They do this by constantly doubting or ignoring your concerns and making you feel like you are imagining things.

For example, they could say something hurtful, and then when you call them out on it, they’ll insist that you must have misunderstood it or heard/remembered it wrong. They may say things like:

“You’re imagining things.”
“This never happened.”
“You’re making things up.”

If they’re really good at it, you’ll start to think, “Well, maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe I was imagining it…”

In the end, it will be your fault, not theirs. It’s a subtle but powerful way to control things, and it can negatively impact your self-esteem and mental health.

So…no, you won’t go crazy. You don’t imagine things. Listen to your instincts – they are there to protect you from people who try to distort your sense of reality.

2) They lie to control you
Create a false reality? This is something that manipulative people have installed in art. To do this, they resort to lying.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s all about control. They may lie about their feelings or their past, or even make up entire situations, all for the purpose of controlling you.

I experienced this firsthand when my ex lied about a job opportunity to make me feel guilty for not being supportive. It was a blatant manipulation attempt that left me feeling confused and betrayed.

Again, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Always remember that for a relationship to be healthy, there must be open and honest communication.

If your partner doesn’t seem capable and constantly lies, it’s best to consider whether this toxic relationship is worth investing in.

3) They play the victim
Another thing that manipulative people do is manipulate your empathy. They do this by playing the victim.

Oh, this is a real red flag. Whenever I notice someone twisting an argument and making it seem like it’s my fault, I do a quick “walk away,” as RuPaul puts it. I’m not wasting any more time on this person.

Because if there’s anything I hate, it’s being manipulated into feeling guilty and eventually giving in to someone’s demands. I have been put in this situation in the past, and every time, I feel exploited.

But my condition is better these days. I’ve learned how to be firm with my boundaries – I try to be as empathetic and understanding as possible, but I also know when to say no to emotional manipulation.

But fair warning: When you say no to a manipulative person, expect them to try another tactic – the silent treatment.

4) They give you the silent treatment

Look, manipulators won’t take your answer while you’re sitting down. They will try every trick in the book to get what they want, and that includes the silent treatment.

If you are smart enough to say no to previous attempts to manipulate you, they will punish you – without words.

It’s a classic tactic, and believe me, this passive aggressive behavior can be very frustrating.

Because it’s just another way to make you give in to their demands. It sends this message: Either you do what I want, or I won’t talk to you at all.

In the past, I would eventually give in when someone did this to me. I didn’t really want to; I just wanted the Cold War to end.

But over time, I realized, wait a minute, we’re both adults here… so why do we communicate this way?

That was the turning point for me, and from now on, I will be determined too. Either they communicate, or I leave.

5) They hold your feelings hostage
I once had a friend who was stuck in a manipulative relationship. She wanted to leave, but she couldn’t because every time she tried, the man threatened to hurt himself.

This is called emotional blackmail, and it is another technique in which someone uses your feelings against you to manipulate you into doing what they want.

Emotional blackmail may come in other forms, such as:

Threatening to reveal your secrets
He threatens to leave you
Comparing you to others
Carrying past mistakes over your head
Playing on your guilt
Using children or pets as pawns
Exaggerate the negative consequences

Whew. That’s a lot of threats, isn’t it? That’s the whole point of it – to make you feel afraid. You’ll end up walking on eggshells and feel terrified of what might happen if you don’t move forward!

So, how do you deal? Well, take this advice from all the Hollywood movies ever made about blackmail – never give in to these tactics. Stand your ground.

If they continue to threaten you, it may be time to walk away. Remember, the right person should make you feel safe, not afraid!

6) They love to bomb
Ah, love bombing. I totally understand how amazing it can make you feel in love. After all, receiving lots of affection and attention can make you feel extra special!

But warning: this is just to encourage you and make you more receptive to their manipulation tactics.

See, showering you with affection is another way manipulative people take control. Lavish compliments and gifts upon gifts are simply a way to gain your trust.

Far from being a true show of love, it is actually a form of psychological and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, it’s very hard to spot until it’s too late… and even harder to get out of.

So, how do you know if they really love you or are bombarding you with love?

According to Psychology Today, the reliable way is to set your boundaries and see if they respect them or not. See how they respond when you tease them with your excessive show of love.

7) They isolate you from friends and family
“You and me against the world” – This is something you might hear from a manipulative person.

Although this may make the whole situation seem very romantic at first, so Romeo and Juliet… you should know that it is actually another way of controlling you.

Because manipulative people want to control your support system, they may try to isolate you from your friends and family. They want to be your only source of support. They want you to depend on them completely.

I remember when my ex would often find fault with my friends and discourage me from spending time with them. At first, I found his opinions interesting and took it as a sign that he wanted to be with me all the time, which of course made me feel very in love.

But that isolation also isolated me from the people who truly loved me, and I began to feel alone and helpless, especially when the relationship started to deteriorate.

So, learn from my mistake – a healthy relationship should never require you to cut ties with those you care about.

8) It makes you feel inferior
Finally, manipulative people often make you feel inferior, whether through subtle criticism or overt criticism.

Their goal is to undermine your self-esteem, making you more vulnerable to their control.

How can they do this? Through small, subtle things like indirect compliments, constant comparisons with others, or even being overly helpful can make you feel inadequate and insecure.

That’s why I recommend being mindful and staying in tune with yourself. This way, you will recognize when someone is trying to make you feel less than your self-worth and maintain your self-worth.

finalthoughts

These are just a few examples of things that manipulative people do. There is much, much more than can be covered in one article. After all, manipulation is a complex topic that includes a wide range of behaviors.

But the main thing to keep in mind is that it’s all about control. That’s why it’s important to trust your instincts and maintain healthy boundaries.

Don’t be afraid to walk away if this behavior continues. Remember that somewhere out there there is someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

finalthoughts

Trending now