Narcissists are people who consume life.
They always want to be the best at everything.
So, naturally, they resent the success of others—especially those closest to them.
Is there a narcissist in your life? And are they jealous of your success?
It’s time to find out!
Here are 8 things narcissists can’t stop doing when they’re jealous of your success.
1) They’ll seem indifferent
You’ll announce to your boss, “I got promoted. Drinks are on me!”
Everyone congratulates you except your narcissistic friend.
And when you finally get together to celebrate, they don’t seem too excited about your victories—not really.
They’ll say, “Wow, you deserved it!”…but then they’ll be all too eager to move on to a different topic—something to do with them and their victories.
Well, they’re narcissists by nature, so they don’t want to be outdone.
So… why would they make you feel good about your victories when they should be the ones winning?!
2) They’ll give you indirect compliments
Indirect compliments sound like compliments, but they’re not.
They’re insults!
When you tell them you’ve finally found a funder for your startup, they’ll say, “Oh my gosh. It’s about time. I’ve been useless for years!”
And when you tell them your book is getting published, they’ll say, “Oh my gosh. You’re lucky. This is such a pleasant surprise!”
Their indirect compliments leave a bad taste in your mouth, and that’s intentional.
Narcissists want you to question your self-worth just when you’re starting to gain a little confidence.
In addition, they need to plant seeds of doubt in everyone that you’re not that great after all.
Why?
Not only are they jealous of your success, but they also need to put others down to feel like they’re on top.
3) They’ll compare you to others
A threatening (and jealous) narcissist will do anything to “put you in your place” so you don’t feel good about your success.
One way they do this is by giving you praise – a little from you, a lot from others, especially if they’re your competitors!
Let’s say you’re a musician and you tell them a record company just gave you a business card… and you’re so happy!
They’ll say “Oh my god, that’s great”… and then a few minutes later, they’ll say “Oh, remember our classmate Dina? She just released her album! She’s so great, isn’t she?”
Or “I hope you’re like Alex and succeed.”
Instead of letting you feel good, they’ll ruin your joy by letting you know that others are doing better.
4) They’ll remind you of how they helped you succeed
Well… what else would you expect from a narcissist, right?
They’ll make everything about them – even your victories.
They will twist any victory you achieve to make it about them and how you wouldn’t be where you are now if they didn’t make that time for you, even if their contribution was very small.
They need to remind you and everyone around you of this so that when they need you for something, it will be easier to manipulate you according to their whims.
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And if they start to notice your distancing and setting clear boundaries around them, the stage is set for everyone to see how ungrateful and selfish you are.
No matter how small their contribution to your success is, you can bet that you will never forget it!
So if you notice someone in your circle doing this, make sure you never ask them for help because it is a trap.
5) They will say “You have changed”
A jealous narcissist will try to control how you feel about your success.
By telling you “you have changed” after achieving your dreams, they are essentially making you feel guilty for shamelessly growing into the person you always wanted to be.
In other words, they want you to stay the same—when you’re still a dreamer, when you’re still on your way to success… basically, when you’re still like them.
If you eat better and healthier now, they’ll say you’ve become arrogant and elitist.
If you start exercising and doing yoga, they’ll say you’ve become arrogant—except that you know that your success owes a lot to taking care of yourself.
But if there’s one thing narcissists hate more than people who are more successful than them, it’s people who start prioritizing their health and happiness.
Why?
Because that means there’s one less person who’s not willing to be sucked dry by the narcissist.
6) They’ll be competitive (but in other ways)
Narcissists need to show themselves (and others) that they’re better than everyone else.
But truly arrogant narcissists are more cunning about this.
They won’t try to beat you at what you’re good at, of course. Instead, they’ll invent some silly contest that you didn’t enter.
Let’s say you just won an award. They’ll say “Yay!” but then they’ll show up at your party with their new partner when they know you’re recovering from your recent disappointment.
Not only that, they’ll steal the show by making a big speech about how they met even though they know the night was meant for you.
They can’t stand someone getting more attention than they do.
It’s their way of feeling good again after announcing your success.
They’re happy to know that no matter what, they’re still better than you at a lot of things.
7) They’ll criticize you severely
You just won an award for your selfies.
They’ll say “Well, your pictures are pretty, but honestly, they lack some life. I don’t know why…”
What. Do. They. Mean. Even?!
Most narcissists are also masters of manipulation, so they’ll make it seem like they’re helping you by being “honest”… when in reality, what they’re doing is crushing your self-esteem.
You just got a new haircut that makes you feel good and they start making sly jokes about it.
Or you might have just gotten back from a surfing trip and you’re feeling strong and vibrant and they act shocked at how awful your tan looks on you and say “Oh my god, why did you ruin your skin?!”
Anytime you start to feel a surge of confidence in yourself, you can bet that they’ll nip it in the bud so that it never has a chance to blossom in their presence.
8) They’ll side with your critics
As I’ve pointed out in this list, narcissists love to tear you down.
It’s not because they hate you per se, it’s just that they want to crush anyone who stands in their way to the top, especially when it’s someone close to them.
They want to be number one in every endeavor they pursue… and they want to be number one in other people’s lives.
So, the moment you become successful, they feel uncomfortable.
They will befriend your enemies and defend your critics.
And if you attack them the moment you notice them doing this, they’ll say, “Wow, don’t take it personally.”
The funny thing is, they’re the ones who take your success very personally.
Final Thoughts:
You may think that narcissists are harmless—they’re just showoffs who love to talk about themselves.
But be wary of covert narcissists.
They’re especially dangerous if they’re jealous of you.
The closer you get to the narcissist, the more they want to control you.
So if they realize that you’re becoming increasingly successful, they’ll find ways to crush your spirit and even take matters into their own hands.
So identify the narcissists in your life and be extra vigilant with them when you are on your way to the top.
Remember, the only way to survive with a narcissist is to stay small, so unless you want that for the rest of your life, plan your exit and get as far away as possible.
