After a full year of being together, she ends things with him only to see his “Facebook official” relationship status appear with another girl – the same boy who said labels don’t exist, pay attention! what’s going? Well, you may be the placeholder in a relationship that you thought was completely mutual all along. This was actually just a charity case on his part, hoping that you would be the one to end it so he would feel less guilty. This is what it means to be in a placeholder relationship. When you’re in it, there’s no way for you to see the reality of the situation you’ve put yourself into. So, if reality is what you’re looking for and dreaming about an unrealistic future is no longer enough for you, here are eight proof signs of a placeholder relationship.
8 Signs you may be a placeholder in a relationship
- He does not feel an emotional connection to you is one of the signs
You are in a placeholder relationship because the emotional connection between you and him seems superficial. Conversations remain primarily superficial such as “How was your day” or “What did you do?”, and deeper emotions or personal matters never come up naturally. It’s like there’s something missing in that emotional bond that should grow over time.
- He avoids talking about the future If your partner can’t talk to you about long-term plans, it might be because he doesn’t see you as someone he wants to build a future with but just a placeholder friend. He will never want to talk about serious things in the relationship and will always focus on the present.
- You (always) adjust your schedule accordingly. One sign of a placeholder relationship is an endless amount of effort on your part and not a single effort on his part. If your partner’s schedule always comes first, it means you’re fitting into his life instead of being together. A healthy relationship respects each other’s time and commitments. And if you relate to this, it means that he does not value you or your time!
- His friends act strangely around you. Pay attention to the way your friend’s friends act when you are around him. If they seem uncomfortable and start acting differently, it might mean they know something you don’t. Friends often reflect the sincerity of a relationship, so if they’re acting weird for no reason, something might be up.
- Your relationship with him hasn’t progressed yet: Relationships naturally develop over time, and if your relationship seems stuck in one place without going anywhere else, it might be worth talking to him about it. Being in a placeholder relationship often involves an inability to grow or move forward, it feels like you are stuck in relationship limbo.
- They’re still attached to your ex One sign that you’re in a placeholder relationship is if your partner constantly talks about your ex or mentions them in any way. It might just be a pick-me-up or fill some emotional void they have while using those words like “I love you” as bait!
- You’ve never met their family before Meeting each other’s family is an important step in every relationship (at least we think so) and if he doesn’t bring you home, that’s a big red flag! It can be a placeholder for someone else or something else. You deserve better than that! And he has to go home!
- Never feel included in his plans. Every person deserves to feel loved, important and included in their partner’s life, even if it’s just for casual activities or events! If you’re always neglecting important things, I hate to break it to you but… you may be in a placeholder relationship.
