Narcissistic manipulation comes in many different forms. In order not to become a victim of this type of dark personality, it is important to know the manipulation techniques that narcissists use.
If you were in a relationship with a narcissist, you may have wondered how on earth did you get involved with someone so self-absorbed, someone so selfish and self-absorbed? Narcissistic manipulation is the cause.
The narcissist uses many manipulative tricks in order to capture their alleged victims. The truth is, if we knew their intentions, we’d all run a mile.
However, there are signs of narcissistic manipulation to look out for. You just need to know how to recognize the sneaky manipulation techniques that narcissists use.
Here are 8 hidden tools of narcissistic manipulation that these individuals use to manipulate us:
- They use defamation in public and private
It doesn’t matter to a narcissist whether you are in a public or private setting. They will use every opportunity to embarrass and belittle you. Why? Because it lowers your self-esteem and makes you hungry for their praise or belief.
The narcissist wants you to stop on every word. They will say things like “I was just kidding” or “I’m just trying to help you” to justify their outrageous behavior. It makes you cling to the hope that one day you will be good enough for them. But of course, you would never do that.
- They control everything
From the topic of conversation (usually themselves) to the money, where you eat, literally everything related to your relationship, they control everything. Even if you manage to get something into a conversation about you, they won’t hear it. They will ignore you and you will pay to bring it up later.
The narcissist you’re dealing with will immediately bring the conversation back to themselves and make you feel bad about mentioning yourself. Soon enough, you will stop doing the things you love to do and forget all about your needs.
- They were very attractive at the beginning of the relationship
Were you swept off your feet at the beginning of your relationship by the most charming person you’ve ever met? Have those compliments stopped now and is charming nature out the window?
The narcissist will try everything in the game handbook to trap and trap you until they have a victim to play with. If someone you just met is so charming, so overflowing with their comments and compliments that you think it’s too good to be true, guess what that is, probably.
- They play the victim all the time
Have a bad day? Your narcissistic partner will be even worse. Literally anything that happens to you is going to happen to the narcissist something worse. Even though they are a victim to you, they will appear to be the victim because it gives them a platform to pay attention. Eventually, you’ll start to wonder if you’re really having issues or just being overly sensitive about things.
Narcissists love to play the victim because not only do they get extra attention, but they use it as a tactic to be bad towards you and get away with it. By focusing on their problems, you are more open to the narcissist’s manipulation tactics.
- They use other people to support them
Narcissists sometimes use other people to help in their mind games. They’ll bring in a third person for backup if they feel you’re slipping away from their clutches. They will then pit you against the third party to get attention from their actions. This other person is also there to manage the narcissist’s massive ego.
This needs frequent stroking and if you don’t praise them enough, they will get someone else to do the job.
- They play mind games or use “Gaslighting”
Gas is where a person plays mental games to disturb a person’s mind. This is a typical tactic of narcissistic manipulation because they want you in the role of the helpless victim, with only themselves in the picture, willing to continue their mind games until you are completely under their spell.
Gassing makes you feel as if you’re going crazy and can be particularly harmful to your mental health. This is why it is ideal for narcissists.
- They underestimate your achievements
Narcissists have to be on top of the base. This means that you cannot achieve any success on your own because it detracts from their accomplishments. When you first meet a narcissist, they will be very complimentary of your successes.
But soon after that, they will show their true colors and start insulting anything you have done. This is because it makes you work harder to get them to notice you, which leads to them getting more attention.
- They make everything your fault
It doesn’t matter if it is crystal clear that something is wrong with the narcissist. They will always flip it so it’s your fault. Their bad behavior will be traced back to something you did. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or what happened – the narcissist will blame you.
If you are experiencing any of the above signs of narcissistic manipulation, don’t lose heart. You’re not crazy, things aren’t always your fault and you shouldn’t keep doubting yourself.
