Repeat after me:

Narcissists are liars who intend to cause harm whenever they get the chance.

Whether you know it or not, the fact remains. At some point, you will suffer this harm for as long as the narcissist is in your life.

It’s not about revenge, or getting even. What matters is staying vigilant and smart about their tactics.

If you can do that, you will win this war, once and for all.

You Can FeelIt Escalating

All you want is a peaceful life, but it’s not that easy, is it?

The impact of false accusation is felt every time you cross the line in the narcissist’s eyes.

They treat you like a child, a child who must always play by their rules.

They don’t want to see you happy, nor do they want to hear about your accomplishments. They’re just waiting for you to fall.

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By accusing you, they keep the window open for you to fall through freely.

Now is the time to act smart, not rashly.

There are ways, and I want you to try to remember as many of them as possible for that inevitable moment.

1 Rise Up

The first smart way to deal with any false accusation is to recognize that rising above it will help you see more clearly.

Imagine you’re stuck in storm clouds. It’s dark and gloomy, and you can’t see much further than your nose.

The higher you rise, the more likely you’ll eventually begin to break free of those clouds and see the blue sky.

Once you do, everything becomes calm and clear.

You can think again, and you’ll rise above the chaos you once found yourself lost in.

It’s the exact same thing. Conflict is chaos, and darkness is the narcissist’s aura.

If you can rise above what they’re trying to do to you, you’ll become invulnerable.

This means opening your eyes and becoming aware of reality.

2 Refuse to React

I see what you’re doing, and I refuse to be drawn into it like I usually am.

Just as you’re going beyond what they’re trying to do, you’re making a conscious effort not to say the words they want to hear from you.

This might be saying:

I’m not playing this game with you.

I see what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work.

I’m not having this conversation with you, so you can have it on your own.

Never include defending yourself in refusing to engage. They want you to feign innocence to sound like you’re begging them to listen to you.

Don’t give them that satisfaction; trust me, it will backfire and create more conflict.

3 Live Your Best Life

If a narcissist accuses you of something you know you didn’t do, let them.

This is difficult for someone who doesn’t want their reputation dragged unnecessarily, but it will benefit you in the long run.

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Living your best life is actually the best revenge you can get on any narcissist who has ever tried to hurt you.

If you transcend their toxicity and give yourself a chance to succeed, they can’t do anything to hold you back.

The best revenge is success, and this is one of my all-time favorite quotes because of how powerful and accurate it is.

The best revenge is success.

4 Don’t Run

Running sends several messages to the world.

The first is that you’re afraid. You’re intimidated by the lies and accusations that tumble from the narcissist’s mouth. This only gives them control and allows them to control you.

The second is that you’re making yourself look guilty for something you clearly didn’t do.

While I don’t encourage over-defensiveness to the point of becoming the aggressor, I do urge you to stand your ground in the space of innocence you deserve.

5 Handle it gracefully

Let things happen.

Be mindful of who you associate with and interact with. Let people know you’ve done nothing wrong. Smile. Live your life. Continue with every plan you’ve made without fear of backtracking or shame.

Try changing the subject, or get some fresh air. The idea is to react in a way that would make your great-aunt proud.

It doesn’t have to be a constant war of words, as the narcissist wants it to be.

Don’t let the narcissist win.

6 Watch the Downward Slope

I’ve always loved to offer this wisdom to those who feel stuck in a spiral they can’t get out of.

The narcissist will eventually collapse. They will collapse. Their stories will start to lose meaning, and their timeline will stop aligning.

Yes, it takes time, and yes, you need patience. But these accusations will come back to bite you, and it will happen naturally and in a way that makes you feel victorious.

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I can only advise you to grab a front-row seat, make a big bowl of popcorn, and watch what happens.

7 Use what you know for next time

Go on, that’s all I ask of you.

I know it sounds long-winded, but patterns are very important when it comes to narcissists.

You’ll notice certain moments and moods that overlap, so when you’re in either, you can often piece together what’s happening.

That’s how we learn, and I know it may seem like I’m sending you to school, but that’s the school of life.

Doing this will lead to clues, right?

When you discover what you already know, you can build a little evidence.

I don’t want you to throw it at the narcissist, but it’s good for you when they’re trying to manipulate you to have the facts written down and ready to confirm for yourself.

The evidence will prevent madness from knocking on your door.

You know, evidence is also useful if you reach a point where you need to take legal action.

I hope it doesn’t come to that for you, but unfortunately, it does for many victims.

They won’t stop until they’ve done what they must to punish you. If you can, stand up for yourself.

8 Don’t Cry in Public

Never let them see they’ve gotten to you. Your reactions are worth their weight in gold.

Without them, you’ll deprive the narcissist of the satisfaction they seek.

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Crying in public can make you appear exhausted and weak, making you a target for attack.

Are you crying because you’ve been exposed? The narcissist will almost certainly portray that image.

Your tears may come from a genuine source, but if the narcissist wants to expose their narcissistic traits for everyone to see, they’ll only be used against you.

This isn’t true.