When you’re in love, it’s easy to lose sight of the boundaries that define a healthy relationship—one built on love, trust, open communication, mutual respect, and support.
Turns out a lot of people get emotionally manipulated in their relationships without even knowing it.
If something in your relationship disappointed you but you’re not sure what happened, it could be because you’re being emotionally manipulated.
That is why I am writing this article, to enable you to see the signs of emotional manipulation so that you can put an end to this toxic behavior and find your way to a healthier relationship.
Let’s start by looking at 8 of the top signs that they are emotionally manipulated, and then we’ll look at what you can do about it.
1) Guilt sets in
Well, most of us have used this tactic at one point or another, in fact, I used it the other day with my dad — he came to visit and I asked him to walk my dogs.
He wasn’t too keen so I said, “Well, I guess they’ll have to wait a few more hours to pee” and it worked like a charm.
Now, that doesn’t make me a masterful manipulator or a bad person, it just makes me human. Nor does it mean that my relationship with my father is toxic!
But imagine a relationship where you constantly feel guilty.
That’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?
Add to that some of the other tactics you will read about in this article and you have some surefire signs that you are being emotionally manipulated in your relationship.
2) isolation
Another sign that you are being emotionally manipulated in your relationship is that your partner has isolated you (or is trying to) isolate you from the other people in your life.
In order to make you completely dependent on them for emotional support, they will have cut you off from your friends and family—the people who love you and are there for you no matter what.
Very scary, isn’t it? That’s because emotional manipulation is a form of abuse.
I’ve already seen it in action. One member of my family was being manipulated slowly over time (it doesn’t happen overnight) by his wife to cut his family and friends out of their lives.
So if your partner doesn’t approve of your friends or thinks you’re spending too much time with your family – that’s a red flag!
3) Gas lighting
Gaslighting can be pretty harsh. It is when the other person makes you question your perception of reality. This often causes you to question your memory and even your sanity.
For example, someone could use gaslighting to cover up an affair. Every time they confront their partner about their late nights or suspicious behavior, they say, “You’re irrational and paranoid.”
They will accuse their partner of being jealous and possessive, even saying things like “The fact that you don’t know how to trust is what destroys our relationship”!
I know, can you believe that sh**?
Unfortunately, when the gaslighter is a skilled manipulator, they will succeed in making their partner doubt themselves and feel guilty for even bringing up their concerns.
4) Emotional blackmail
Basically, emotional blackmail is a manipulative tactic whereby someone in a relationship uses emotions, guilt, or fear to control or manipulate the other.
For example, if your partner doesn’t like going out and spending time with your friends, they’ll cringe and say, “You don’t care about me, all you care about are your stupid friends. I don’t even know why we’re together.”
Of course, it is possible for an emotionally unstable and insecure person to say this and mean it, but for emotional manipulators, this is a means to an end.
Does it sound like something you experienced?
5) Continuous monitoring
This is a big red flag!
You have become a ** person, and you have the right to your freedom and privacy. So, if your partner is always on top of who you are, what you do, and who you are with, you’re going to have a serious problem.
Oh, and don’t be surprised if you find them snooping on your phone or checking your email!
6) The silent treatment
There are a lot of articles out there about using the silent treatment when you’re having a fight with your partner.
But guess what – it’s a cruel form of mental punishment! In fact, it borders on abuse.
I mean, instead of us being open and honest with each other and talking about your problems, the silent treatment basically consists of shutting down all communication and pretending the other person isn’t there.
Think about it – being on the receiving end of the silent treatment can be very distressing.
And more often than not, it backfires.
The breakdown of communication prevents conflict resolution
Instead of addressing and resolving the problems, he allows the negative feelings to fester and escalate
It disrupts the emotional connection in which relationships thrive and hinders the development of empathy, compassion, and intimacy.
7) Victim mentality
This is absolutely my aunt.
I swear she was born to play the victim – and she isn’t, believe me.
Not only does she want to be the center of attention – which she does – but she plays the victim to manipulate people into doing things for her.
For example, she constantly manipulates her children into doing everything for her and canceling their plans to be with her because she is “old and dying” (she has been this way for the past 30 years). And even though they know she’s okay and perfectly capable of doing things on her own, they just screw her up every single time.
So, if you’re in a relationship where your partner always says “poor me” and makes you feel guilty about wanting to have your own life, manipulating your sympathies, and making you feel responsible for their happiness – you want to deal with that ASAP!
8) Exploit your weaknesses
Did you know that some manipulators actually go so far as to exploit their victims’ vulnerabilities to control them?
They will find out what your fears and insecurities are and then use this knowledge to their advantage.
Very sick, right?
But why do they do that? Don’t they love you?
I’m not sure they really know what love is, anyway, they have a weird idea of what love is. By exploiting your weaknesses, they essentially want to assert dominance, lower your self-esteem, and create a sense of dependence.
