There’s a fine line between being a good person and being a weak person.
Doing good deeds is commendable, but when you always put others first, you may neglect your needs.
As a good person, you may often feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or even taken advantage of. This can prevent you from reaching your full potential.
In this article, I’ll point out 8 signs that you’re a good person and how this can hold you back. In doing so, we hope you’ll learn to find a balance between helping others and helping yourself.
1) You have a hard time saying “no”
This is a common trait among good people.
When someone asks you for a favor, your immediate instinct is to say “yes.” You hate the idea of letting anyone down and are always willing to be there for others, even if it means compromising your own needs.
This is a noble trait, no doubt. But constantly agreeing to do everything for everyone can leave you feeling exhausted and burned out.
Moreover, it also creates a pattern of expectations. People start to assume that you’ll always be there to help, which can lead to them taking advantage of your willingness to help.
Learning to say “no” when necessary can be an empowering tool. It allows you to take control of your time and energy and ensures that you’re not held back by the constant need to please others.
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes.
2) You feel guilty for prioritizing yourself
I remember a time when I had a critical deadline for a project. I was working tirelessly to meet it. At that moment, a friend reached out to me and asked me to help him move. I knew it would be a one-day task, but I found it hard to say no.
I ended up helping him, and in turn, I missed the deadline. The guilt of letting my team down was overwhelming. But what struck me most was the realization that I had allowed my desire to help someone else to override my responsibilities.
As a good person, you may often find yourself in similar situations, where you feel guilty for choosing your own needs over helping someone else. This constant feeling of guilt can be exhausting and can prevent you from focusing on your personal growth.
Learning how to balance your commitments and understand that it’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes is crucial to your well-being and success.
3) You Often Neglect Your Own Needs
Did you know that, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who consistently put the needs of others before their own are more likely to experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of happiness?
As a good person, you may often find yourself putting the needs of others before your own. Whether it’s sacrificing your sleep to help a friend in need or skipping meals to finish an errand for someone else, you’re constantly neglecting your own needs.
This self-neglect can lead to burnout and exhaustion. It can also hinder your personal growth because you’re always focused on others and not yourself.
Remember, it’s also important to take care of yourself. Only then can you truly be able to help others effectively?
4) You’re Always the Peacemaker
As a good person, you may often find yourself a peacemaker. When there is a conflict, you are the first to try to resolve things, even if it means suppressing your feelings and opinions.
While maintaining harmony is essential, constantly being a mediator can be emotionally draining. It can also prevent you from expressing your true feelings and standing up for what you believe in.
Promoting peace is commendable, but remember to voice your opinions as well. It is important to make sure that in your pursuit of peace, your voice is not lost.
5) You are always trying to fix other people’s problems
You see a friend in trouble, and your heart aches. You can’t just stand by and watch. You feel the urge to step in and offer advice, lend a helping hand, or do whatever it takes to ease the burden.
The ability to empathize and the desire to ease the suffering of others are beautiful traits. But when you are always trying to fix other people’s problems, you may be neglecting your own.
Furthermore, constantly being the “fixer” may prevent you from realizing that not every problem is yours to solve. Sometimes, people need to face their battles in order to grow and learn.
6) You feel responsible for the happiness of others
I remember a time when one of my close friends was going through a tough time. I did everything I could to make them happy, from sending care packages to planning surprise visits. But despite my efforts, they were still unhappy. I felt like I had failed and carried that burden with me.
As a good person, you may often associate your worth with how happy you can make others. When they’re upset, you feel like you must make them happy and feel disappointed when you can’t.
But it’s important to remember that each person has their journey and emotions. You can offer support, but their happiness is not your responsibility and does not reflect your worth. Learning this can help you focus more on your happiness and less on the happiness of others, preventing it from holding you back.
7) You Overcommit and Take on More Than You Can Handle
Whether it’s signing up for extra shifts at work, volunteering at every community event, or being the one who always helps friends and family, you tend to take on more than you can handle.
Remember that it’s okay to set boundaries and respect your abilities. Being aware of your limits and not taking on more than you can handle is crucial to maintaining a balance between being a good person and prioritizing your well-being.
8) Your Self-Worth Is Tied to Helping Others
You derive a tremendous amount of satisfaction and a sense of worth from helping others. While it’s wonderful to find joy in service, it’s important to realize that your worth is not determined purely by how much you help others.
You are more than just a good person. You have your talents, dreams, and strengths that make you unique and valuable. Understanding this can help you maintain a healthier sense of self-worth that isn’t tied solely to your good deeds and can prevent them from holding you back.
Final Thoughts: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
It’s important to remember that helping others and doing good deeds is an admirable trait and something to be proud of. However, it’s equally important to care about your own needs and desires.
The well-known saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup” applies here. You can only give your best to others when you’re at your best.
Psychologists often stress the importance of self-care and setting boundaries as essential aspects of maintaining mental health. It’s not about becoming selfish or indifferent, but about ensuring that you have enough energy and emotional resources to continue doing good without burning out or holding yourself back.
So, as a good person, while you continue to spread kindness and positivity, also take a moment to reflect on your needs and your happiness. Remember that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes, it’s okay to prioritize yourself, and most importantly, it’s okay to take care of yourself.
Because at the end of the day, being a good person isn’t just about helping others; it’s also about taking care of yourself so that you can continue to spread goodness in the world.
