8 signs your partner manipulates you, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between persuasion and manipulation, especially in relationships.

Manipulation is controlling someone else’s actions or emotions without their knowledge. It’s about getting what you want, regardless of how it affects your partner.

Psychology helps us understand these subtle signs of manipulation we often overlook in relationships. It’s about recognizing when influence becomes manipulation.

I’m here to share 8 clear signs that you may be dealing with a manipulative partner.

1) Love Bombing

Psychology tells us that one of the first signs of a manipulative partner is “love bombardment.”

This term refers to the excessive affection and flattery that some people use to win you over. It’s a manipulative technique designed to hide their true intentions.

Love bombardment can be incredibly seductive initially, and it’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of attention and admiration. But it’s important to remember that true love is about respect and understanding, not showering someone with emotion to control them.

The key is balance. If your partner seems overly affectionate too soon, especially if it quickly turns into pressure or control, it could be a sign of manipulation.

2) They Play the Victim Often

One tactic that manipulative partners often use is playing the victim. This strategy involves shifting the focus and blame away from their actions and onto themselves.

I remember being in a relationship where my partner would always flip the roles whenever I raised concerns. If I raised an issue, he would quickly shift attention to how he was “attacking” or “misunderstanding.”

This made me feel guilty for expressing my feelings and often led to me apologizing when I wasn’t at fault. Over time, I began to realize that this was a way for them to avoid accountability and maintain control.

If you always find yourself the “bad guy” in arguments, or if your partner frequently portrays themselves as the victim, it could be a sign of manipulation.

3) They Use Manipulative Techniques

Manipulation is a psychological manipulation tactic that makes you question your reality. It’s a tool that manipulative partners often use to gain more control.

The term “manipulation” comes from the 1944 movie “Manipulation,” where a man manipulates his wife into thinking she’s crazy. However, it’s not just the stuff of old movies. Manipulation is very real and can be incredibly damaging.

A common example of manipulation is when your partner denies something that happened, even though you remember it clearly. They may say things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “That never happened.”

This can lead to self-doubt and confusion, making you even more dependent on your partner for “reality checks.”

4) They isolate you from friends and family

Manipulative partners often use isolation as a tactic to maintain control.

By distancing you from your support network, they can manipulate your perception of reality without outside interference.

This can start subtly. They may criticize your friends or family, make you feel guilty for spending time with them, or create situations that make it difficult for you to maintain these relationships.

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It’s completely normal for couples to spend a lot of time together.

But when you start to feel disconnected from other important people in your life, it could be a sign of manipulation.

5) They Make You Feel Like You Owe Them

Manipulative partners are often very skilled at making you feel like you owe them something. They may do you a favor or help you in some way, and then ignore you.

This can be a subtle form of control.

They may make you feel like you need to agree to what they want, even if it’s not what you want or what’s best for you.

For example, they may say things like, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”

This can make you feel guilty and obligated to comply with their demands.

6) They Comment Negatively on Your Appearance

This is a subtle but painful form of manipulation that can chip away at your self-esteem.

I know because I’ve experienced it myself.

In one of my previous relationships, my partner would often make seemingly harmless comments about my appearance. “Are you going to wear that?” “Maybe you should go to the gym more often” were common comments.

At first, I brushed these comments off as jokes or constructive criticism. But over time, they started to affect my self-image and confidence.

I realized that they were my partner’s way of controlling me and making me feel insecure.

7) They use your insecurities against you

This is a particularly insidious form of manipulation, where your partner uses your insecurities or past mistakes as a weapon against you.

They may bring up something you’re sensitive about during an argument or use it to make you feel guilty. This not only hurts you emotionally, but it also gives them more control over you.

For example, if you share a past failure or fear with your partner, and they use it as a way to belittle or undermine you during arguments, this is a clear sign of manipulation.

Remember, everyone has past fears and mistakes. A loving partner should help you work through them, not use them as ammunition.

8) They Constantly Shift the Blame to You

Shifting the blame is a common tactic used by manipulative individuals. They rarely take responsibility for their actions and instead find ways to blame others, in this case, you.

If your partner always makes it your fault when a problem or argument occurs, even when it isn’t, this is a sign of manipulation. They may twist the facts, deny their involvement, or play the victim to avoid taking responsibility.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to accept their mistakes and work through issues together.

If your partner is always pointing fingers at you, that’s a big red flag.

Relationships are about mutual respect.

At the heart of every relationship, there should be mutual respect and understanding.

Love isn’t about control or manipulation; it’s about supporting each other, growing together, and appreciating each other’s individuality.

It’s important to remember that manipulation isn’t always as blatant as it’s portrayed in movies or TV shows. It can be subtle, gradual, and often disguised as expressions of love or concern.

If you notice these signs in your relationship, it’s time to step back and evaluate things from a new perspective.

Trust your instincts, seek professional help if necessary, and remember that everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they feel loved, respected, and free.