Identifying a high-quality person isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s hidden in their actions or words. But psychology offers clear signs to look out for.
Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve delved deep into psychological research to discover eight signs that someone is a high-quality person.
Let’s explore these signs together and learn how to recognize true quality in the people around us.
1) Genuine Empathy
The defining characteristic of high-quality people is their genuine empathy.
Empathy isn’t just about understanding someone else’s perspective, it’s about feeling their feelings as if they were your own. It’s a trait that allows high-quality individuals to connect with others on a deeper level.
Psychology tells us that empathy is the key to improving relationships, and it’s something high-quality people have in abundance.
They don’t just listen to what you’re saying, they truly understand and feel for you.
This goes beyond simple empathy. It’s about sharing in someone else’s happiness or pain, offering comfort, and making them feel heard and appreciated.
Take it from Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist who once said, “When someone listens to you without judging you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to shape you, that makes you feel really good.”
High-quality people make us feel really good because they genuinely empathize with us.
2) Consistent Reliability
Another sign is their consistent reliability. High-quality people are the ones you can count on, no matter what.
I remember a time when I was moving to a new house and was in a tight spot. One of my friends, who I now consider a high-quality individual, was special.
Not only did she offer to help me pack, but she also showed up early and stayed late, making sure everything was packed and moved with care. She didn’t just talk the talk; she walked the walk, showing up when it mattered most.
As a psychology buff, I can tell you that this behavior is consistent with what experts call “behavioral integrity.” This happens when someone’s actions consistently match their words. It’s a convincing sign of a high-quality person because it shows that they value commitment and can be trusted.
3) Embrace Humility
High-quality people have a sense of humility that is truly commendable. They don’t see themselves as above others or seek to brag about their accomplishments. Instead, they focus on learning, growing, and lending a helping hand to others.
This humility isn’t about self-deprecation or lack of confidence; it’s about understanding that everyone has something valuable to contribute and that no one is infallible.
I explore this concept in depth in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. Here, I delve into the Buddhist principle of humility and how it can help us live fuller, more balanced lives.
In the book, I show how high-quality people embody this principle by recognizing their strengths and weaknesses and appreciating the contributions of others. They don’t let their ego get in the way of learning or helping others.
4) Ability to Delay Gratification
High-quality individuals have an amazing ability to delay gratification. This means they can resist the temptation of an immediate reward and wait for a more meaningful reward that requires time and effort.
This trait is a key indicator of self-control and is linked to a variety of positive outcomes such as academic success, physical health, psychological health, and social competence.
Psychologist Walter Mischel’s famous marshmallow test illustrates this concept. In the test, children were offered a choice between one small reward given immediately or two small rewards if they waited a short time.
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The results found that children who were able to delay gratification were more likely to have better life outcomes as measured by various measures such as educational attainment and body mass index.
So, if you see someone who can postpone immediate gratification for long-term gain, you are likely looking at a high-quality individual. As Mischel himself said, “The ability to delay gratification is critical to a successful life.”
5) Comfort with Uncertainty
Now, this may seem a bit counterintuitive, but high-quality individuals often demonstrate a surprising comfort with uncertainty.
While many of us crave certainty and predictability in our lives, these individuals recognize that life is inherently uncertain and unpredictable. Rather than resisting or fearing it, they embrace it.
The ability to tolerate ambiguity indicates higher levels of creativity, open-mindedness, and problem-solving skills. It’s a trait that allows high-quality individuals to adapt to change, make tough decisions, and innovate in the face of challenges.
At its core, comfort with uncertainty isn’t a sign of a lack of purpose or planning; it’s a testament to their resilience and resilience.
6) Healthy Boundaries
As the famous psychologist Albert Bandura said, “To succeed, people need to feel self-efficacy, and to struggle together resiliently in the face of the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.” Setting healthy boundaries is an essential part of building self-efficacy and resilience.
High-quality people know the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They understand their boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.
Boundaries are a way to communicate our needs and ensure mutual respect and understanding in our relationships. They are not walls, but guidelines for how we want others to treat us.
High-quality people are not afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t align with their values or priorities. They respect when others set boundaries, and they recognize and value their independence.
Maintaining healthy boundaries demonstrates self-respect, emotional intelligence, and strong interpersonal skills—all hallmarks of a high-quality person.
7) The Ability to Self-Reflect
A high-quality person is not afraid to look at the mirror of self-reflection. They are willing to take a hard look at themselves, their actions, and their motivations.
It’s not always an easy process. There have been times in my life when self-reflection has led me to confront mistakes and shortcomings. But that’s exactly what makes it so valuable.
This willingness to self-reflection demonstrates a commitment to personal growth and learning. It’s about recognizing that we are working toward improvement and having the courage to continually strive to improve ourselves.
8) Active Listening
Active listening is a hallmark of high-quality people. It’s not just about being silent when someone else is speaking, it’s about genuinely engaging with them, showing interest, and responding thoughtfully.
Active listeners don’t just wait for their turn to speak; they seek to understand and learn from the speaker. They ask follow-up questions, rephrase or paraphrase what they’re saying to confirm understanding and offer relevant responses.
This trait is critical to building meaningful relationships. It shows respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings and fosters trust and open communication.
Thinking About Quality
The traits we’ve discussed, from empathy to active listening, aren’t fixed. They can be nurtured and developed. We can learn to be more compassionate, listen actively, embrace uncertainty, and set healthy boundaries.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimal Ego, I delve into how to cultivate these traits and live authentically and compassionately.
Being a high-quality person is not about perfection but about continuous growth. It’s about acknowledging and working on our shortcomings while appreciating our strengths.
