Empathy is something we really value when we are going through difficult times. It reminds us that we are not alone. But how do we know if this empathy is real?
Have you been betrayed by a friend or relationship partner? And when I mean betrayal, I’m talking about assuming that you have support during life’s misfortunes, but it’s all a sham.
Yes, I’ve been through this, and it’s one of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world. Just when you believe that someone loves you, cares for you, and will be there through the tough times, they reveal their true character. It’s about fake empathy and how some people enjoy your pain.
There is a German word for this.
Schadenfreude – feeling pleasure from the pain or misfortune of others.
This word cannot be translated clearly into English, from what I gathered. It’s a unique frame of mind, a deceptive state of being – dare I say, sociopathic?
Is someone showing fake empathy while enjoying your pain?
Could it be that the man you thought was your best friend is your biggest fan of sadness? Is that girl you hooked up with at the store secretly waiting for her to fail?
Well, some signs point to imaginary empaths. Here are some ways to know if you’re with the wrong people.
- Bad Luck Club
Some people listen to your success and suddenly calm down. If you talk to them face to face, you will notice a decrease in their smile when you share any good news about yourself.
However, if you tell them about something bad that happened to you, their behavior becomes brighter. It’s as if negativity is a much more flattering vibe than any good news at all.
First, they are secretly happy that you have problems. Second, they are part of something I like to call the “bad luck club.”
The reason I describe this characteristic this way is because whenever you encounter any kind of problem, they will always try to “compensate” your bad luck with their own worse luck.
So, if it’s bad, well, they have an unbearable life. But don’t be fooled into thinking they are sympathetic to your problems. They couldn’t care less.
- Very friendly at first
People who are fake about most things, including the fact that they care, will be very nice when you first meet them. They will tell you anything you want to hear. There are a lot of people like this, and it is very difficult to distinguish the real from the fake.
But pay attention to all the very friendly things they do to you or things they say to you. They seem to care a lot. When in fact, they are hiding under your skin like a poisonous worm.
- They’re showing off
Have you ever been deceived by that person who “just wanted to help people”? Yes, this is also a fake empath who secretly enjoys other people’s pain. They talk about helping people all the time, but it’s strange that the people they help are fairly well-known, both in public and online.
They talk about helping others when they post on social media, too. This is a big red flag that you are dealing with someone who has fake empathy.
Here’s a test: Ask them to do something where it’s impossible for others to recognize them and they’ll find an excuse why they can’t help.
- It looks like a greeting card
People who pretend to care about other people’s feelings often look like the corny greeting cards or cheery quotes you see online. You can also find quotes like this in self-help books and other similar reading materials.
Counterfeiters pick up on these sayings and use them in casual conversation in an attempt to prove they care. They offer these little phrases with a smile, hoping to become the hero in the eyes of the spectators. Meanwhile, they are patiently waiting for more bad things to happen to you. It’s scary, isn’t it?
- He cannot maintain eye contact
Friends, lovers, family members, etc. can make eye contact when they are interested in you. When things get tough and you need support and comfort, they look you in the eye and remind you that you are not alone.
But people who feign empathy cannot make eye contact for long at all. They usually start looking around and change the subject when you are suffering.
This is because deep down they don’t care, and there’s a part of them that is secretly relieved that you’re not feeling well. They have to play the fake hero again. Pay attention to those who can never quite look you in the eye, and certainly can’t maintain that eye contact.
- They thrive on drama
If something happens, they either know about it or hang on your every word when you tell them the news. You can see their eyes light up when you tell them about something bad that happened. They will try to hide this reaction, but if you pay attention, you can catch it.
Here’s a test: Start telling them about the things you hear and see how this fake person will spread drama like gossip. They want people to think they care about what happened when in reality they want to be the anchor to attract attention.
- They turn on the gas
Gaslighting occurs when someone tries to make you feel crazy or tries to convince you of actions you have not taken. Whew! That was the mouth.
But in any case, people who pretend to be sympathetic will only do a few manipulative things to make you look bad and make them look good. This is how they simultaneously enjoy your misfortune while appearing to be your savior. It’s just insidious!
- They are materialistic
People who pretend to care about you will shower you with gifts. This is especially true for holidays and when misfortune strikes in your life. If you are not wise in using this tactic, you will feel incredibly loved. In fact, this is also a show.
A faker simply shows how generous he is when you’re going through some of the toughest times in your life. Notice when your friend or family member goes overboard with gifts. It’s a big indication that they are not emotionally healthy.
