8 Signs of Emotional Abuse That Aren’t Always So Obvious

Does your relationship with someone leave you feeling upset over and over again? Have you reached the point of wondering, Am I being abused? Emotional abuse is often insidious, sneaking into relationships and chipping away at your life force little by little. Unlike physical abuse, its scars are invisible, but their impact is equal, and sometimes even more destructive.

Identifying emotional abuse can be difficult, especially when it manifests itself in subtle ways. However, recognizing these behaviors is crucial to maintaining your mental well-being. Here are eight subtle signs of emotional abuse that may be hiding in plain sight.

Constant criticism and underestimation

One of the characteristic features of emotional abuse is a relentless barrage of criticism and disparaging statements. Perhaps this person goes into small digs about what to wear or makes an unnecessary comment about losing or gaining weight. Other times, they accuse you of being needy or over the top. You start feeling, can I do anything right?

While constructive criticism is a normal part of any healthy relationship, emotional abusers use criticism as a tool for manipulation. This constant undermining erodes self-esteem over time, making the victim increasingly dependent on the abuser for validation.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a particularly terrible form of psychological manipulation aimed at making the victim doubt her perceptions and mind. Emotional abusers may deny their actions or distort the truth to make their partner question their memory, perception, or judgment. They may say things like, “You’re overreacting” or “This never happened,” which makes the victim doubt her reality.

Related : Is the Narcissist Happy?

Suppose you have a chronic illness or a debilitating disability, but this person constantly tells you that you are exaggerating symptoms or looking for attention. Medical gaslighting is a particularly soul-crushing experience and one that I have unfortunately encountered. But why do people behave this way? In general, resorting to gaslighting in this circumstance occurs when the individual is not emotionally strong enough to accept the truth. Denial is their coping mechanism.

Cynicism

It’s just a joke. This is what an emotionally abusive individual likes to tell you. The problem is that they are not. You are annoyed internally, over and over again. That inside joke about something you said or the way you sound quickly becomes unfunny. To anyone. Unfortunately, lacking all emotional awareness, the abuser will continue in their treacherous ways unless the other person sets significant boundaries or decides to walk away.

Isolation

Emotional abusers often seek to isolate their victims from friends, family, and support networks. They may use subtle tactics such as discouraging social activities, sulking when the victim spends time with others, or making derogatory remarks about loved ones.

Planning to leave the house alone to go on a night out? An emotional abuser may do everything he can to prevent this from happening, whether it’s deliberately creating an argument or asking you to lean into something when he knows you don’t have time.

By isolating their victim, the abuser creates a sense of dependence and reduces the likelihood that this person will seek help or support outside the relationship. The victim is left feeling lonely and completely helpless.

Control and manipulation

Emotional abusers exert control over every aspect of their target’s life, from finances and social interactions to personal decisions and behaviors. Look for feelings of guilt, threats, or emotional blackmail. While control may be subtle at first, over time, the abuser will continue to push boundaries. Before you know it, your life is no longer like yours; you exist to serve them instead.

Emotional blocking

Are you arguing, and now you are desperately trying to work things out? Emotional aggressors will not be keen on peace any time soon. These individuals often withhold affection, validation, or support as a means of punishment or control.

They may use silent therapy, withdrawal, or emotional unavailability to manipulate their victim’s behavior or emotions. By withholding love and affection, the abuser creates a sense of insecurity and anxiety in the victim, who may become desperate for her consent and affection. This dynamic reinforces the power imbalance in the relationship, with the abuser holding all the cards.

Blaming and shifting responsibility

Next in the eight signs of emotional abuse comes evasion of responsibility. These people do not like to take accountability for their actions, ever. Instead, they decided that it was much easier to blame someone else.

Related : Why You Don’t Love the Narcissist

You may hear things like,” You Made Me Do This, “or” You’re too sensitive.”This tactic not only relieves the aggressor of responsibility but also enhances feelings of guilt and self-blame in the victim. Over time, the victim may internalize these messages, believing that they are somehow wrong and responsible for the abuse they are experiencing.

Unexpected mood swings

Emotional abusers often exhibit irregular mood swings, alternating between extreme kindness and affection to anger and hostility. Sometimes they may seem high and happy, only for their mood to be frankly depressed within a few short hours. This Jekyll and Hyde behavior keeps the victim on edge, never knowing what to expect or how to act to avoid angering the abuser.

Mood swings end up becoming a means of control, causing the victim to walk on eggshells and submit to their demands. This constant cycle of stress and release is so emotionally draining and destabilizing for anyone to have to deal with.

Final thoughts on 8 signs of emotional abuse that are not so obvious

Emotional abuse is a pervasive and destructive form of abuse that is difficult to recognize, especially when it is malicious. By understanding these subtle signs of emotional abuse, you can better identify unhealthy patterns in your relationships and take steps to protect your mental health and soul.

Seeking support from trusted individuals is crucial to break free from the cycle of abuse and regain your sense of self-worth and independence. Remember, no one deserves to endure emotional abuse. So, if you recognize any of these signs, start looking for ways to calmly distance yourself from the life of this person.