Have you ever felt a positive vibe with someone? They nod when you nod; they smile when you smile; they laugh when you laugh.

The complex ways a narcissist gains your trust and respect include mimicry—doing or saying anything you do just to get along with you.

What kind of fake waters are you swimming in when you give them half a chance with their devious ways, right?

Mimicry may seem like you have a lot in common.

I’m sad to say, it’s a manipulation tactic to get them to come close to you.

Breach your way out now with these 8 simple tips!

1 Express Hope—Find Someone Like Them

So, you’re in the middle of a conversation with a narcissist and you think everything is going great. They seem to light up when you talk to them, and they hang on to every word you say. You feel like they’re genuinely interested in you.

What’s the problem?

A lot.

Actually—the narcissist makes you feel this way only because they’re an expert at mirroring.

Your Mirror Test:

Tell them you really hope to have kids someday. See if they agree. Tell them you love short trips around town. See how well they agree. Test after test will reveal that they’re just agreeing with you because they want you to feel a strong connection.

It’s all just an act—and you can be a step ahead.

2 “You Go First”

One of the best tricks you can try is the “you go first” trick.

Having the same conversations in Trick 1 can get a little boring after a while. All they’re doing is agreeing and wanting the same thing, but what if you put them in a position where they can ask you a question.

“Do you like dogs?”

“Well, there’s a question. You’re asking me because you have feelings for dogs. What are your opinions?”

Throwing the question back at the narcissist before you have a chance to answer leaves them open to failure.

Narcissists hate failure. They want to be on the same wavelength so they can try to answer by guessing what they think you’re going to say, but that doesn’t always work.

Suddenly their attempt to mimic you has failed miserably, and the control they wanted over you has been erased from existence.

Great job!

3 “Why are you asking?”

You’re coming from a curious place, right? If you sense that the narcissist in your life wants to know something, whether it’s a spouse asking if you’re okay just to provoke you into apologizing for something you didn’t do or someone trying to get to know you, ask them why.

This sets the narcissist back a few notches, so instead of being in your face and demanding to know things, you can stop them, leave them confused, and ask them why they’re asking.

You know yourself when something isn’t right, but they want to seem like they’re mirroring you by being concerned (in the way you would normally). It won’t work. When you ask them if they’re okay, they want you to know that they’re not okay.

Asking them why leaves you room to disagree with them when they give you their answer,

Reflective – Fail!

4 Refrain – Don’t Take the Bait

So, you see what appears to be a mirror right in front of you. It’s like they can’t think or act for themselves, but what does that do? It makes you feel superior and in control. Narcissists love that. This is the false sense of security they provide to make you feel empowered when you go into a discussion or relationship with them.

This is just a bait thrown your way for you to bite, so they can lure you in and change their mask. Once the mask is changed, you will see a different side to them, and that is where you regret falling into the trap of mirroring.

Instead – get a grip. Do not bite the bait under any circumstances. They cannot win if you do not play the game.

5 The Grey Rock Technique

The grey rock is a successful tactic that many use to divert any emotion from the conversation. If the narcissist is animated, they will expect you to match their tone. This confirms to them that they have control over you, but detaching or responding in a way that does not highlight or shade your response leaves them struggling to maintain their conversation.

Be as boring as possible. With no energy to hold onto, they will have no energy for themselves (remember, a narcissist cannot create their own energy, they need yours).

Grey rocks are known to reduce conflict, and I know deep down you may be desperate to express something emotional – but your best bet to avoid the reversal is to not give them anything.

6 Find the “You, too, me too”

Oh, “You, too, me too.”

Have a good time. You, too.

You look cute. You, too.

I love this show. Me, too.

I want to eat curry tonight. Me, too.

Oh, don’t you have every little thing in common? It’s pretty sweet, actually.

A narcissist will give you small, insignificant moments of power because they want to bond with you. More than that, they want you to believe that you have a bond with them, too.

How special is that?

Actually, it’s not. It’s another tactic.

And you can hack your way out of it by playing the “You, too, me too” game (in your head, of course).

7 What Happens in Private

A person’s true intentions come out behind closed doors. If you’re in public, surrounded by people you know, a narcissist will act their best. They’ll do all the mirror stuff to make you feel like you’re with the most charming person in town, but that’s going to look different in public.

The mask slips on a narcissist quite often, and the ways you can tell is how and when they choose to reflect back at you.

What Happens in Private

8 Actions Don’t Match Words

“I want to go out on Friday, don’t you?” Sure! I’ll book a table!

Friday comes, and where’s the table?

It’s not booked, of course.

Oh, they forgot.

Oh, they got busy.

Why didn’t you remind them?

Why didn’t you book it?

You’ll be blamed, but the original lure and pull of the reflected desire to go out has turned from promise to dust.

One way to spot a narcissist who is mirroring you in the moment to satisfy your current mood or demand is to see if he follows through on his words.

If he doesn’t – you’ve got him!