Once the honeymoon period is over in a new relationship, the cracks often start to show.
Suddenly, those charming quirks were suddenly no longer so charming. Or maybe you start arguing regularly over trivial things.
Just because you’re in a committed, secure relationship doesn’t mean you have to be totally comfortable.
Sure, by all means, be comfortable! But I’ll be honest: There is such a thing as too comfortable.
If you want your union to last, be practical about how to move forward, such as avoiding certain controversial habits.
In this article, I’m going to walk you through the behaviors your partner might quietly take on you—things you should worry about, if you’re into them for the long haul.
Let’s go to her!
1) Constant phone use
It wouldn’t be a 21st century love story without the use of technology (especially smartphones) one way or another.
If you’re constantly glued to your phone, especially during quality activities like meals, conversation, or movie time, not only is it annoying, it can make your partner feel neglected and underestimated.
Once this becomes a way of life, your other half will likely realize that this behavior is not sustainable; At this point, expect resentment to grow at a rapid pace.
My ex had a pretty decent sized Instagram.
It seemed like for every waking hour she was mindlessly scrolling through her feed, anticipating a new notification tip.
When we’re out to dinner, she’ll be so preoccupied with her virtual double life, it’ll be like talking to a brick wall.
And if she’s not on her phone, she’ll use her laptop or tablet.
Sure, her devices weren’t drugs or gambling, but it was a decent addiction nonetheless.
Over time, this behavior really got to me. I’ve seen a lack of basic consideration as a red flag.
And sure enough, I was right — after a few disagreements, we decided to take a break.
2) Poor listening skills
You’ve heard it before: Communication is the bedrock of any effective relationship.
Hence, putting in the extra effort to actively listen will pay off.
If you interrupt your partner a lot or slur their speech (or… direct your attention to your phone) while they’re talking, that’s a pretty obvious sign of disrespect.
In the end, you’ll feel left out and neglected by your partner—in other words, it may be the beginning of the end.
It’s time to shape up.
3) Excessive criticism
Oftentimes, your criticism or lack of criticism negatively affects your partner’s self-worth and ultimately makes them reluctant to share things with you.
As a partner, you are meant to represent a safe space; If you can’t be, then this is hardly a good omen for the fate of your relationship.
And your critical remarks should not be directed only at your partner.
If you generally spread a negative vibe, constantly complaining and belittling others in your surroundings, then this act becomes overwhelming very quickly.
At the end of the day, no one wants to be around that kind of energy, especially those you are most intimate with.
4) Jealousy and possessiveness
Unfounded jealousy is such a turn off, mainly because it is rooted in deep insecurities.
If you make a fuss or ask probing questions every time your partner chooses to spend time with others or act independently, it will leave them feeling trapped, claustrophobic, and distrustful.
It’s also quite stuffy.
If they’ve never given you a reason to be jealous before, I’d hate to break this one to you: you, not them.
Start acknowledging their independence and uniqueness as a person, or expect some well-deserved upheaval in the future.
5) Lack of affection
I think it’s a safe assumption that for the majority of people, passion is an absolute necessity in a relationship.
If you don’t show much affection or intimacy toward your partner, I’m telling you now, it’s smart to take steps toward correcting this behavior.
Because if there’s no affection, it’s pretty much just a glorified platonic relationship/roommate, right?
Feeling unloved and unwanted isn’t a great way to get on with life, especially when dating.
