If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ve probably heard it all. They use words and phrases in their desire to control everything about you.
A narcissist is never wrong in their mind. They have a superior image of themselves and feel that you should be submissive to their demands.
Why a Narcissist Feels the Need to Control You
Narcissists are naturally dominant. They believe they are superior to everyone else. The ability to control their own minds and actions gives them the image of superiority they crave.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, here are ten phrases to keep in mind. These phrases are what these dominant people use to control you. The top 10 phrases narcissists use include:
- You’re too emotional/sensitive
When you’re confronted with a narcissist who wants you to do something they want you to do, they may become argumentative and difficult. They aim to control you completely. You may feel worthless, frustrated, and yes, emotional. Tears are not uncommon for anyone in a relationship like this.
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A favorite phrase that narcissists use when trying to control you is “You are too emotional/sensitive.” By using this phrase, they immediately shift the blame onto you. By saying this, you may question yourself and what you did wrong.
Narcissists are clever, skilled at disguising themselves, and know how to quickly shift the blame from themselves to you. This helps them control you, make you doubt yourself, and get you to do what they want you to do.
- You’re Overreacting
When it comes to doing something you want to do, and your narcissistic partner doesn’t want to do, they will use phrases to get you to back off.
They aim to control your actions, and force you to do what they want. The moment you get upset or start arguing, they will tell you “you’re overreacting.” These are two words that you will encounter a lot when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
These two words can make you pause, question your sanity. You may wonder if you’re being extreme, insensitive, or if you’re really overreacting.
This is a clever trait that a narcissist has in their arsenal of vocabulary, and it’s one of the phrases they use to make you doubt yourself and give them the control they need.
- I’m the best thing that ever happened to you
Unfortunately, narcissists often seek out someone who has had trouble in previous relationships or has a submissive personality.
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They make endless promises to lure you in and engage with them. Once you’re in their grip, they can use phrases to hurt you and take complete control of your mind and actions.
One of the many phrases you’ll come across or have encountered while living with a narcissist is “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” By this time, they’ve gained your trust, and may have gotten you to share some of your past experiences. They use this against you when you want to do something they don’t want you to do.
If you’ve been in a bad relationship in the past, your narcissistic partner will use that to their advantage.
When your actions don’t meet their expectations, they will use “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you” to gain complete control over you. Unfortunately, you’re more likely to believe them until you realize the type of person you’re dealing with.
- You’re Remembering It Wrong
How many times have you been told that you’re wrong in the past month or two? Yes, this is a phrase your narcissistic partner uses to control you. They use these phrases to make you wonder if you’re remembering it wrong.
It could be as simple as a deal you made or you asked them to come to a work event with you and they agreed. When the subject comes up again and they change their mind or feel the need to reinforce their superiority, they use this phrase to control you.
Because they need to control you, they make promises that they don’t keep. This reinforces their sense of superiority and helps them feel better about themselves.
- “If you really loved me, you would…”
In their desire to control you, the narcissist will use almost everything in their arsenal to get you to do what they want you to do. One of their favorite ways to do this is to make you feel guilty. Feeling guilty makes you more likely to do what you want, which reinforces your superiority complex.
“If you really loved me, you would…” is a phrase that narcissists use a lot. Why? Because it makes you feel guilty.
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Feeling guilty makes you more likely to do what they want, which gives you control over your mind and actions. You often give in to what they want to avoid an unnecessary argument or another.
- “I never said that” or “I never did that”
If you put money in a jar every time your narcissistic partner said to you, “I never said that,” or “I never did that,” you would be a rich woman by now. Narcissists consider themselves superior to everyone else and do not like to be reminded of their mistakes.
If they make a mistake or promise you that they do not intend to keep, they will make you They question your sanity by saying, “I never said that” or “I never did that.”
These simple words can make you doubt yourself, allowing them to control you.
- You Never or You Always
Narcissists use guilt to control you. Their phrases are carefully chosen to make you doubt yourself and your goals and give them control over your life. Living with a narcissist is not easy, leaving many women feeling unworthy, unhelpful, and generally wrong for everything they do.
As a result, narcissists often use the phrase “you never” or “you always.” This immediately blames you, which sets off a wave of guilt and gives them the opportunity they need to control you.
- You Made Me Act This
“You made me act this way.” Let’s be honest: How many times have you heard this phrase from your narcissistic partner?
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You probably hear this phrase more than you’d like. Again, they’re shifting the blame onto you, allowing them to control you and reinforce their superiority over you.
You need to remember that narcissists need to control you in your relationship, which allows them to maintain their sense of power and self-importance. Their need to control you gives them the validation they need, which helps them get their needs met.
If you notice your narcissistic partner using the above phrases frequently, it’s because they need to control you, reinforce their self-importance, and ensure their needs are met.
It’s important to know the most common phrases narcissists use to control you, allowing you to recognize them and not give in to their control. This can help you stay strong, happy, and healthy.
