Has someone ever said something that made you feel bad or unsure about yourself?
Sometimes people use deceptive words to make others feel less confident. It’s like they just know what to say to make you doubt yourself.
But why do they do that? And how do you detect when this happens?
In this article, we are going to talk about 8 common things people might say to make you feel this way.
These are phrases that some deceitful people use to try to control or manipulate you.
By learning about these, you’ll be better able to quickly tell if someone is trying to get your attention.
Let’s get started and find out what to watch out for.
- “You’re so sensitive!”
Have you ever heard someone tell you that you are too sensitive after they said something hurtful?
It’s a sneaky way of making it seem like the problem is with you, not with what they said.
By telling you that you are “too sensitive,” they are trying to make you feel guilty for having feelings.
This statement places the blame on you and takes the focus off what they did or said. It is as if they are saying, “I did nothing wrong; you are overreacting.”
If someone says this to you, remember: It’s okay to have feelings, and it’s okay to tell others when something is bothering you.
You are not “too sensitive”. you are a human!
By becoming familiar with this phrase, you can stand strong and not let it shake your confidence.
- “I was just joking! Can’t you take a joke?”
This phrase reminds me of a friend I once had who would always make cutting remarks and then laugh them off as jokes.
Once, he made a comment about my appearance in front of a group, and when I confronted him, he said, “I was just joking! Can’t you take a joke?”
What he was really doing was hiding behind humor to look at me.
By saying he was “just kidding”, he tried to make me feel silly for being upset.
The problem with this phrase is that it is often used to mask unkind words.
If you feel hurt by what someone said, and they claim it was just a joke, this may make you feel wrong because you didn’t find it funny.
Next time someone says this to you, trust your feelings. If it wasn’t a joke, it probably wasn’t.
- “I am only saying this for your own good.”
Now, here’s a phrase that could throw you for a loop. It sounds concerned and concerned, right?
Someone tells you something critical or harsh, and then follows it up by saying, “I’m just saying this for your own good.”
Suddenly, what seemed like a hurtful comment is being framed as helpful advice.
The nonsensical part is that this phrase often comes from those who really care about us, like family or close friends.
They may think they are giving us a dose of “tough love.” But sometimes, it can feel stronger than love.
The hard thing is that it can make you feel guilty for being upset about what they said.
After all, they’re just trying to help, right? But real help does not undermine your self-confidence.
If you hear this phrase and it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s worth taking a moment to think about why it bothers you.
Perhaps talk calmly to the person about how you feel with the words. It is possible to give advice and honesty without hurting.
Sometimes those who care about us need a gentle reminder of that.
- “If you really loved me, you would…”
This can be a real punch, especially when it comes from someone you care deeply about.
The phrase “If you really loved me, you would…” is often used to force someone to do something they are uncomfortable with.
For example, a partner might say, “If you really loved me, you would quit your job and move in with me.”
Or a friend might insist, “If you really cared about our friendship, you wouldn’t hang out with them.”
What is detrimental to this phrase is that it relates your actions to your feelings about the person.
It makes you feel like you have to prove your love or friendship by doing whatever you want.
The truth is, love and friendship are not about passing tests or meeting demands. It is about understanding, respect and compromise.
If someone uses this phrase on you, it’s time to pause and express how you feel.
Explain to them that your feelings for them are not related to this action or decision, and try to find a solution that respects your feelings and feelings.
- “No one else will tolerate you.”
Years ago, someone close to me dropped this bombshell during a heated argument: “No one else will tolerate you.”
It was a sharp, stinging comment that made me feel unloved and trapped.
What is particularly bad about this phrase is that it is designed to isolate you.
By suggesting that you can’t tolerate or accept anyone else, he’s aiming to make you feel like you’re lucky to have the person who said it.
It can make you feel like you owe them something or that you shouldn’t expect better treatment.
The truth could not be more different. We all have our quirks and flaws, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve love, friendship, or respect.
If anyone has ever said this to you, please know that it is a reflection of their insecurities, not your worth.
Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t deserve true kindness, understanding, and care.
It took me a while to realize this for myself, but knowing those words were a form of manipulation and not a truth about myself helped me regain my confidence.
- “You will never be good enough.”
I’ll be honest: this phrase hurts. It cuts to the core, no matter who says it.
Whether you’re a parent, partner, friend, or boss, hearing the words “you’ll never be good enough” feels like a punch to the gut.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this phrase, and I can tell you it stays with you. It can eat away at your self-esteem, causing you to doubt your worth and abilities.
But here’s the raw truth: It’s a lie. It is a cruel and manipulative tactic used to control and belittle you.
It is designed to make you feel helpless, to prevent you from reaching your dreams, or even standing up for yourself.
If anyone tells you this, please know that it does not reflect who you are. It is a reflection of their need to be in control, to be in control, or to feel superior.
You are enough. I’ve always. And anyone who truly cares about you would never use such destructive words against you.
It may take time to get rid of these words, but don’t let them define or hold you back.
You are capable, worthy, and strong enough to prove them wrong.
- “I am doing this for your own good.”
On the surface, this phrase sounds caring and selfless. After all, someone is telling you that they are acting with your best interests in mind.
They are doing something “for your own good.”
Sometimes, however, this phrase is used to cover up actions that serve the person saying it more than they do you.
Let’s say a co-worker takes charge of a project you’ve been working on, and insists that he’s doing it “for your own good” so you don’t get stressed out.
Sounds thoughtful, right?
But in reality, they may be doing it to take credit or to push you aside.
Or maybe a family member will make an important decision about your life without consulting you, saying it is “for your own good.”
In this case, they may try to control your actions or choices under the guise of caring for you.
The nonsensical part of this phrase is that it sounds like it’s all about you, but it could actually be all about her. It is a subtle way to manipulate situations or decisions in their favour.
If you hear this phrase and feel something, trust your intuition. It may be a good time to ask questions and make sure the procedure is in your best interest.
True friends, family, and colleagues will be open to discussing their decisions and will respect your thoughts and feelings, rather than hiding behind seemingly altruistic statements.
- “Trust me, I know what works best for you.”
I remember a time a relative of mine used that line on me when I was making an important life choice.
They said, “Believe me, I know what’s best for you,” as if my feelings and opinions didn’t matter.
At first, I was surprised. It looked like they were looking for me, but something wasn’t quite right.
They were making my decisions for me, and I felt like I was being robbed of my voice and my agency.
This phrase can be especially manipulative because it comes wrapped in concern and wisdom.
It is often used by people who are older or feel they have more experience.
They may think they are directing you, but in reality, they may be trying to control your decisions.
What I learned from that experience is that no one knows what’s best for you better than you.
Others can offer advice, share their experiences, and voice their concerns, but at the end of the day, this is your life, and you are the best judge of what is right for you.
If someone uses this phrase on you, it’s worth considering their point of view but also standing firm in your understanding of yourself and your needs.
You are the author of your life, and while it’s nice to listen to others, you should never feel pressured or manipulated into living through someone else’s text.
