If you are involved with a narcissist, you are probably familiar with the rollercoaster of emotions and manipulation that can come with it.
The narcissist has a knack for making you feel special, only to leave you doubting yourself and your worth.
They can subtly use certain phrases that may seem harmless, or even catchy, but are designed to keep you hooked.
Narcissism, like borderline personality disorder, is a recognized mental health condition and not a lifestyle choice. However, being in a relationship with a narcissist presents unique challenges.
Overcoming these challenges starts with recognizing the phrases they typically use. Here we will explore 8 phrases a narcissist will use to hook you and make you feel special.
By understanding these phrases, you can empower yourself in these relationships.
1) “No one understands me like you”
The classic phrase narcissists use to make you feel special is: “No one understands me like you do.”
On the surface, it seems like a compliment — a testament to your compassion and understanding. But this phrase is a manipulative tool.
The purpose of this statement is to make you feel exclusive, chosen, and even privileged because you are the only one who “gets” them.
It adds an element of mystery to their personality and makes you feel like you are in a unique position in their life.
However, this is often just a trick to keep you close and emotionally invested. It’s a way for them to maintain control of the relationship, ensuring that you continue to prioritize their needs over yours.
You may find yourself doing your best to demonstrate your understanding, often at the expense of your safety.
This feeds the narcissist’s need for validation and attention, while at the same time keeping you entangled in their web of manipulation.
2) “I’ve never met someone like you before”
When a narcissist says, “I’ve never met someone like you,” it may seem like the ultimate compliment.
He seems to elevate you above everyone else in his life, making you feel special and cherished.
But here’s the problem: this phrase is often used to create the illusion of uniqueness around you.
This is a tactic that narcissists often use to make their targets feel special and valuable.
This phrase can be incredibly captivating, especially if you are deeply interested in a relationship.
You may start putting them on a pedestal, believing that your connection is truly unique.
However, this may lead you down a path where your actions and decisions are driven by the desire to maintain this “unique” status in their eyes, effectively keeping you attached to the narcissist.
3) “I never felt this way about anyone else.”
The same goes for this phrase. Just like the above, it can make you feel like you are the most important person in their world.
I remember experiencing this in a previous relationship. My partner often uses this phrase, and it makes me feel incredibly loved and appreciated.
However, over time, I realized that this phrase was not an expression of true love, but rather a tool used to manipulate my emotions and keep me invested in the relationship.
He created an illusion of extraordinary love and connection, an illusion that was difficult to break away from.
This phrase can make you feel like you are the exception, the only person who touched his heart in a way that no one else did.
But don’t be fooled, this is just a narcissist’s way of controlling and manipulating their partners.
Be aware of your emotional well-being and remember that true love is about respect, trust, and mutual care, not just big statements.
4) “You’re the only one who can help me”
The narcissist often uses the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.” This statement is designed to make you feel valuable and needed.
It plays on our innate human desire to help others in distress, making you feel indispensable in their lives.
The science behind this is known as the “helper’s euphoria” – the feeling of euphoria and energy boost we experience when we help others. Narcissists are aware of this psychological phenomenon and use it to their advantage.
Using this phrase, the narcissist creates a dynamic where you constantly seek to be his or her savior, often at the expense of your own needs and boundaries.
It reinforces a cycle in which their well-being becomes your responsibility, leaving you invested and attached to them.
5) “You make me want to be a better person”
When a narcissist says, “You make me want to be a better person,” it can warm me.
It’s easy to get emotional… who doesn’t want to be the reason someone makes a better life decision, right?
However, remember that you are not responsible for another person’s growth or change. This is a journey they must take on their own.
While it’s natural to want to support the people you love, it’s important to understand that change cannot be forced or expected.
Narcissists often use this phrase to keep you optimistic, committed, and believing in their ability to change.
But it is important to remember that real change comes from within and does not depend on anyone else. You are allowed to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries that protect your emotional health.
6) “We’re very similar, aren’t we?”
“We’re very similar, aren’t we?” It is a phrase often used by narcissists to promote a feeling of connection and compatibility. Whatever is best to attract you.
Because the truth is, it’s easy to feel attracted to someone who seems to share our values, interests, or experiences.
This phrase can make us feel seen and understood. It’s comforting to think that someone else is “connecting” us to a deeper level.
It’s like finding your tribe or your partner in crime.
Unfortunately, narcissists often use this phrase as a mirroring tactic to create a false sense of familiarity and closeness.
You may find yourself dismissing red flags or compromising your needs because you think you’ve found your perfect partner.
Real Talk – Real communication is based on mutual respect and understanding, not just shared similarities.
7) “You’re too sensitive.”
When a narcissist tells you, “You’re too sensitive,” it’s often in response to you expressing hurt or upset over something they did or said.
What this is intended to do is make you think that perhaps you are overreacting or being unreasonable. It’s an attempt to shift blame onto you, making you question your feelings and reactions.
Why do they do that?
Because they do not want to take responsibility for their actions.
But this is the truth. Your feelings are valid. If something hurts you, it hurts you. a period.
Don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid or that you’re “too much.” You have the right to express your feelings and set boundaries in your relationships. You deserve to be heard and respected.
8) “I can’t live without you”
Perhaps one of the sharpest statements a narcissist may use is: “I can’t live without you.” It can feel quite romantic, making you feel like the center of the universe.
While it may be nice to feel the need in such an extreme way, this phrase often serves as a tool for emotional manipulation.
It can make you feel trapped and guilty, preventing you from leaving a relationship that may not serve you.
Look, you’re not responsible for someone else’s happiness or emotional stability. It is not healthy for anyone to depend on another person to the point that they cannot imagine their life without them.
A healthy relationship involves two independent individuals who choose to be together, not out of desperation or fear, but out of mutual respect, love, and shared values.
Conclusion
Recognizing these phrases is just the first step toward understanding the complex dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist.
However, the ability to recognize these signs and take action lies within you.
Respecting your feelings and boundaries is never overrated in a relationship.
Being truly mindful means not letting anyone dictate your worth or play with your emotions. It’s about understanding your worth and not settling for less.
This is to promote healthy relationships, advocate for oneself, and most importantly, remember that you are worthy of kindness, respect, and true love.
