If you’ve ever been with a narcissist, you know that narcissists lie about everything. But how do narcissists lie, and do narcissists lie often? More importantly, what do narcissists lie about? This post is about the lies that narcissists tell in order to manipulate and catch their victims.
Narcissists and the truth go together like oil and water, and nothing is really off limits. If you’ve been with a narcissist, you know this. But there are some common lies all narcissists tell, and we’re going to cover those in today’s post. Let’s go to her.
Today’s topic is the lies that all narcissists tell in one form or another. So, if you’ve ever been around a narcissist, chances are you’ve heard some variation on one, if not all, of these lies.
So, talking through the lies that narcissists tell isn’t just about empathy, although that can be an important part of the healing process as well. It’s more about verification.
And it’s about finally making sense of things that haven’t made sense for so long, and realizing that you’re not alone in this. Yes, it can be annoying, but you are not alone. There is a whole community of people who have dealt with the negative consequences of a relationship with a narcissist in one form or another.
So let’s get started on the lies narcissists tell.
Related: How To Heal After The Cruel Words of A Toxic Person: 7 Tips
If you’ve ever been with a narcissist, you know that narcissists lie about everything. But how do narcissists lie, and do narcissists lie often? More importantly, what do narcissists lie about? This post is about the lies that narcissists tell to manipulate and catch their victims.
Narcissists and the truth go together like oil and water, and nothing is really off-limits. If you’ve been with a narcissist, you know this. But there are some common lies all narcissists tell, and we’re going to cover those in today’s post. Let’s go to her.
Today’s topic is the lies that all narcissists tell in one form or another. So, if you’ve ever been around a narcissist, chances are you’ve heard some variation on one, if not all, of these lies.
So, talking through the lies that narcissists tell isn’t just about empathy, although that can be an important part of the healing process as well. It’s more about verification.
And it’s about finally making sense of things that haven’t made sense for so long, and realizing that you’re not alone in this. Yes, it can be annoying, but you are not alone. There is a whole community of people who have dealt with the negative consequences of a relationship with a narcissist in one form or another.
So let’s get started on the lies narcissists tell.
Related: How To Talk To A Narcissist Without Going Insane
- “You can count on me.”
So the second lie all narcissists tell is that you can count on me or “I have your back”.
And unfortunately, even if the person you’re dealing with is very narcissistic, even if they mean it at the time, there’s only one person they’re looking out for, and that’s themselves.
Narcissists will always protect their interests. And yes, they may do nice things for you or other people if it is convenient for them or if they can benefit from it. But when it comes right down to it, if they simply don’t want to do something for you, they won’t.
As a result, they may create the impression that “we’re all in this together.” I have your back and you are with me.
Unfortunately, most of us find out, at the worst possible time, that the other person isn’t there for us. They can change their tone very quickly.
A narcissist can go from being your best friend and someone on your side to someone who is totally against you, someone who tarnishes your name or tries to hurt you. And they can make that switch as quickly as they can.
As a result, unfortunately, many of us feel foolish for having trusted this person in the first place. But it’s not your fault that you’re in this situation. By design. These are some of the basic lies that narcissists tell to convince you to let go of your energy and trust them.
Related: 12 Characteristics of Passive Aggression and How To Deal With A Passive-Aggressive Partner
- “It’s not my fault.”
The third lie all narcissists tell is that there is nothing wrong with me.
Whatever went wrong can’t be their fault. And even if they seem to take responsibility for something, it’s usually because of something secondary or peripheral to what’s going on.
Narcissists are notoriously refusing to take responsibility for their bad behavior. And, as I’ve found out through experience, they’re also pretty good at justifying their bad behavior.
So, instead of accepting responsibility and acknowledging, “Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that,” they might say, “I did it because of this.”
And to some, this may seem like a very good explanation. Someone who doesn’t know the whole story might believe them because they’re good at justifying things. And then this person takes the narcissistic side, because, well, it can’t be their fault.
The narcissist was justified in their actions (gag). But after a while of being around a narcissist, this gets old quickly.
And you may start to notice that you become angry even when you see them doing this to other people because you know how good it would be if that person took responsibility for anything.
- “Things will get better.”
The fourth lie all narcissists tell is that things will get better. And unfortunately, if you’ve been there, which I think you have, you know where this is going.
It will not get better with a narcissist. It’s getting worse. if they have devalued you, dumped you, or used you as a punching bag in the past; It will be easier for them to do so in the future.
They are.
However, even before this point, you may notice some differences in what we call future fakes. The narcissist will promise you anything you want at this point.
Let’s say you are in a romantic relationship and want to get married and have children. This is what the narcissist will promise you – this is what we work for and that we are very close. And you will always be a carrot that will dangle in front of you. You won’t want to walk away because you think you’re so close to getting everything you want.
You think that although things are bad now, they will get better. Except they won’t.
Falsification in the future can also happen with a narcissistic boss. This can come in the form of a promotion or a salary increase. But these are lies. They may tell these lies in different ways, but the result is the same.
- “I am the most honest person you will ever meet.”
I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet: Lie number five.
And if you’ve ever met someone like this, you know that a truly honest person doesn’t need to tell you how honest they are. But as humans, we like to give others the benefit of the doubt.
And if someone claims to be completely honest, you want to believe them. You won’t realize how wrong this relationship is until you dig deeper into the relationship.
Even if narcissist tries not to lie outright, they will always have secrets. Narcissists need a constant supply. It’s a challenge to avoid lying when you have so much to hide. You have to lie to hide those secrets, to keep those skeletons in the closet.
And even if the narcissist isn’t outright lying to you, he or she may have omitted large amounts of information that could be extremely useful to you.
Let’s look at friendship as an example. Let’s say you are friends with a narcissist and they have tickets to a game you want to attend. So they make you jump through hoops because they know you want those tickets, right? As a result, they ask you for favors and take full advantage of the situation.
It would be very helpful to know that they have already given the tickets to someone else. The narcissist is less likely to volunteer this information if it would get in the way of him getting what he wants. And this is one of those gray areas that aren’t gray areas.
Just because they’re not outright lying, just because they don’t say, “Well, I didn’t give those tickets away” doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth. They are not honest. This is what they call lies of omission, and it’s very common among narcissists.
Related: 8 Steps To Recovery After A Controlling Relationship
- “I’m going to change.”
The sixth lie is that I intend to change.
I will be more polite.
I will do whatever you want me to do here.
And this is a lie that you will only hear when the narcissist demands something from you. So, let’s say they dump you and get back on the Hoover because they need supplies and you’re the quickest way to get there.
They will make you promise that you will not be able to deliver. They will promise you that things will get better, that they will go to counseling, or that they will be nicer to you and improve their behavior.
But if you’ve been here before, you’ll know this is completely wrong.
- “I love you.”
The seventh lie you may hear from a narcissist is the cruelest one. It’s hard to hear, and even harder to share with you. But the truth is, I love you is a lie when a narcissist says it.
It’s unfortunate all around, but narcissists lack the emotional empathy needed for true human connection. Also, this lack of empathy makes them capable of hurting others without remorse. If you are here, I sympathize with you because I was here too.
At this point, when you realize the lie, you will likely feel betrayed.
You might be thinking, “How could someone who loved me treat me this way?” How can someone who cares be so cruel? Unfortunately, it is narcissists’ lack of empathy that allows them to turn off kindness and stir up hatred at lightning speed.
- “You are worthless.”
And the final lie every narcissist will tell you is that you are worthless.
This is a lie.
And unfortunately, it’s something many of us end up believing because, after years of abuse, we lose touch with who we are. We lose touch with our sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Related: Narcissists and Lies: 6 Harmful Lies We Learn from Narcissistic Parents
And if you are in this position as a result of a relationship with a narcissist, no matter what type of relationship it is, I would like to share a post with you that contains some powerful affirmations to help you get through this time. Of course, affirmations won’t be the only thing that helps you heal, but they can help you get started.
